Bobibble Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 It will be two weeks since our break on Saturday. I slipped after everyone telling me he's "not himself and is distant and keeps saying he misses you" and called, only to find out that he still feels the same way he did before. That he loves me so much and wants to be with me so badly and misses me but doesn't know if we're compatible. I told him that we both changed in our relationship due to fear and my lack of trust due to my insecurities prior to meeting him and that he is doing what I used to do. Doubting the relationship due to us fighting more a couple of months prior to the break, you doubting scared you, and now you're psyching yourself out and trying to find things that could be wrong. He said he needs more time and I told him that's fine that I would leave him alone. I am extremely close to his family and we have the same group of friends. I have been told by one of our close friends that he does not want to talk about things because he's been thinking about it too much. His mom and I are going to get dinner tomorrow night and she told me that she had told him that he is clearly unhappy and that this isn't the way to live and that he should ask me to go to the movies. He said he would like to but it wouldn't be just that and that I would want to talk about the relationship and get emotional over it...which he was right unfortunately because later on that night I made the emotional call trying to talk about our relationship. She told him the next day that she told me that I should "move forward with my life" to which he blew up and said that he "didn't want to talk about this I already think about it too much". She asked him if he is even interested in anyone else and he said "no! I wouldn't do that to her I would tell her if I was". He has apparently been moping around the last almost two weeks and has only gone out with friends once and has been hanging out with family the rest of the time. Him and his family (minus his mom) left for camping this morning (which I was supposed to go with them) and won't be back until Monday. My question is, when will he decide to say something? I know we both have made mistakes in this 15 month relationship, and I know we both have a lot of personal growth to go through in order for our relationship to become healthy but is it possible at this point? I know how much he loves me and he knows how much I love him, and his family keeps telling me "it's not over" (yes I know it's weird that I'm close with his family but he always liked it and so did I) and his friend said "when it was over with my ex, I knew it was over for good because I didn't care that she broke up with me. You guys aren't over because you care about each other and the relationship too much for it to be over". Also, if we do decide to work on things, would it be smart to try to start slow and build the friendship up first and then after awhile start talking about our past relationship problems that we need to solve in order for our future one to work out and be healthy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobibble Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Anyone....? Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Yes you should work things out with him considering if you love the guy that much, then yes you should and you are close with his friends and family, so that's a bonus Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobibble Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Yes I understand I do want to work things out with him but how do I go about doing that? Do I maintain NC until he says something? Do I take things slow, not talk about the relationship at first and just hang out and then see how things progress? Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I don't think it matters what anyone else is telling you. No one knows what he really feels except him. He might not ever want to get back with you, but because his family likes you, he may not want to tell him. You can try to convince him all you want, but if he's not taking you back, chances are he won't. He'll make it known loud and clear if he wants you. As much as it hurts, I would move forward. Don't you want to be with someone who makes it clear in no uncertain terms that he wants you and doesn't want to be without you? Link to post Share on other sites
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