YellowBrickRoad Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 No that I am not currently an active OW, I have been given the opportunity to look back on my romance life and release how I've been the OW more than not. Starting in high school then college then in the random 20s and up until my almost 30s. I can count 7 different OW situations I've gotten myself into in the past 10 years. I am still trying to understand why I let myself be "that" chick. So tonight, I'm just curious if this has come up with anyone else. This subject is obviously difficult or impossible to talk about with friends given the judgement attached, so I am very thankful to have found this forum of people who understand! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 It's time for you to retire the OW role and work on you. Figure out why you keep picking men that put you second. Picking men that you know are already taken. You deserve love, happiness and a husband who adores/loves ONLY you. Someone who comes home to you every night and curls up in bed with you. I hope you believe that! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I have only been the ow once though for many years with the same guy Never again Ever 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Take some time out. Spend some time on you. See friends, date yourself, chill. Remind yourself what great company you are and what you really enjoy doing with your time. Later down the line write a list of what characteristics and traits Mr Ideal would have, and the type of relationship you'd like. And discount anyone who veers largely from your list. If you do all of the above properly you'll notice a difference in who shows an interest in you and who you're interested in 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 What is your relationship like with your father? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Capris Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Hi YellowBrickRoad (love the nick), Ive been an OW only once, but i have a friend that has been a couple of times. She always repeated the phrase "i cant understand why her and not me?"...so i pointed it out to her and of course we tried to analyse it. Anyways, just a thought. Being an OW, even once, in most cases show some low self esteem. In my friends case, low self esteem is the main reason and also craving for any kind of love. Follow the lovely advice people have given you here and learn to love yourself first. Im single now and im doing the same and its at the least, refreshing!!! Take care of yourself!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 What is your relationship like with your father? I agree. I have only been an OW once, but I realized I had other problematic relationship patterns and I realized a lot of it was connected to my relationship with my dad and what I saw modeled with my parents' relationship. Previously, I just felt I was unlucky. I didn't connect the dots or realize that your parental examples imprint on you so much and it takes a conscious effort to become aware of what patterns you repeat/react to negatively and then how you can unlearn it so that you stop sabotaging yourself in relationships. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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