Necris Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 (edited) Confidence is worthless, it doesn't change a thing. If women don't like you being more confident doesn't help. Just like how being confident that you are going to ace a calculus exam doesn't mean you will ace that calculus exam as its not going to give you any knowledge. When I'm feeling great about myself and super confident the reactions I get with women are actually the same as the days I feel terrible and and unconfident. Confidence doesn't make women suddenly check you out or feel sexually attracted to you, you need something else for that. Kind of reminds me I know this one guy he doesn't have to do anything he can dress in anything and women still feel drawn to him like a magnet, I have my doubts its his confidence that makes that happen but whatever it is, it is powerful. Edited August 10, 2012 by Necris Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Of all the women I've dated not one was worthy of this "confidence", two were self depricating, one was so insecure it was comming out of her pores, one was bitter and a the others were just meh! IMO when a woman who says she likes a confident man and doesn't follow that with ANY other character/personality traits tells me she just wants to sit on her ass and do nothing and not have to take any risks or do anything bold. I've asked women out in person is that "confident"? I'm not going to kiss your ass when you tell me you feel stupid for wearing a sweater lol or that you feel old and won't get any attention at a popular bar in town. That's why I really give proactive women credit. I'm not saying I want to sit on my butt and have them come to me but I really give women credit who aren't afraid to give a man a sign. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheMeatloafJuggler Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I remember my early 20s. I was a 6'3 guy, who did a ton of swimming and was in great shape, and had a head full of curly hair and was just starting out with my businesses and making good money. But was I confident? I would say No, I was not. I was still learning about myself and how to manage to get through life. I had and always did have women approaching me and many had romantic interest and to me, the formula was simple 1) I was tall 2) They liked how I looked, including my physique 3) They liked I made good money 4) They liked that I was single, college educated, unmarried, no kids and didn't live too far from them, along with living in my own house and having my own car As I got older, I just learned to ignore what most women say to me or to anyone about what they want. Very rarely will you see a woman say "I want a tall good looking educated guy with money with no other baggage" But that's what most women want. They just won't come out and say it. They hide it with words like "confidence" and "ambition" and "driven" and "takes care of himself" because it sounds better. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 What women are attracted to is a strong sense of identity. Confidence is very closely related to it and I think it is how a lot of people think of it because it is about how confident you feel about who you are. This is why car mechanics can attract women as much as doctors can. As long as the man is comfortable in his skin and he knows what he wants, there will be women that find him attractive. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 What we have here is another thread of a loser trying to rule out some experts advice. Time after time I see guys who are successful in the dating game giving good advice, only to have the majority of you losers come up with another "YahBut" thread Just maybe, if you listened and applied the advice to your life, you might be able to turn your loser lives around, and be able to take the first step in a relationship and just plain get the first date. Here is a flash for you. Women like men. Women enjoy having sex with men. I did not sleep alone last night! Did you? In fact through out most of my adult life, when I slept alone it was by my chosing. Why, because I had the balls to approach women I had never met and begin a conversation with them. That is a form of confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 What we have here is another thread of a loser trying to rule out some experts advice. Time after time I see guys who are successful in the dating game giving good advice, only to have the majority of you losers come up with another "YahBut" thread Just maybe, if you listened and applied the advice to your life, you might be able to turn your loser lives around, and be able to take the first step in a relationship and just plain get the first date. Here is a flash for you. Women like men. Women enjoy having sex with men. I did not sleep alone last night! Did you? In fact through out most of my adult life, when I slept alone it was by my chosing. Why, because I had the balls to approach women I had never met and begin a conversation with them. That is a form of confidence. You may feel like calling people losers but put yourself in the shoes of one. Imagine if you will that you still approach women (the guys complaining like myself actually do approach women) but for whatever reason no women anywhere ever feel attracted to you in the slightest. You try but never get any results just pure rejection. You have zero experience and if you are like me you have never had a relationship a virgin (the virgin thing is okay) and women never go as far as to flirt with you instead they act distant and cold at the very best you can be their friend but that is as far as you will ever go. Even when you are feeling confidant and great nothing changes you have the balls to approach but something is missing. It gets even more fustrating when you see guys who never even approach women but women throw themselves on them. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 You may feel like calling people losers but put yourself in the shoes of one. Imagine if you will that you still approach women (the guys complaining like myself actually do approach women) but for whatever reason no women anywhere ever feel attracted to you in the slightest. You try but never get any results just pure rejection. You have zero experience and if you are like me you have never had a relationship a virgin (the virgin thing is okay) and women never go as far as to flirt with you instead they act distant and cold at the very best you can be their friend but that is as far as you will ever go. Even when you are feeling confidant and great nothing changes you have the balls to approach but something is missing. It gets even more fustrating when you see guys who never even approach women but women throw themselves on them. You still have to keep doing it. For quite a while I didn't get anything other than rejections. You also need to believe you can become an attractive character, and work to build that facet of your being, if that's what you want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 What women are attracted to is a strong sense of identity. Confidence is very closely related to it and I think it is how a lot of people think of it because it is about how confident you feel about who you are. This is why car mechanics can attract women as much as doctors can. As long as the man is comfortable in his skin and he knows what he wants, there will be women that find him attractive. This, this, this! A man without an identity is weak, and inherently lacks confidence, no matter how much he struts and puffs his chest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 People are attracted to confidence. It has nothing to do with gender. It also isn't just limited to dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Apolo-jism, Hokie. How many ways to Sunday are you going to twist the confidence issue? Either piss or get off the pot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Confidence is a good thing for both men and women to have. However, its only a plus if the other person is already initially attracted to you. If someone isnt initially attracted to you, confidence wont mean jack. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Confidence is a good thing for both men and women to have. However, its only a plus if the other person is already initially attracted to you. If someone isnt initially attracted to you, confidence wont mean jack. Heh, right. It can even lead to resentment sometimes. I know when I see a "confident" women I'm not attracted to acting "confident", I always say something like "Uhh, this girl has no reason to be confident. She needs to back it down a notch." Of course if I was attracted to her I'd probably say "Oh boy, I love her confidence. She's so hawt :p" Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Confidence is a good thing for both men and women to have. However, its only a plus if the other person is already initially attracted to you. If someone isnt initially attracted to you, confidence wont mean jack. It will mean jack because you won't be damaged by rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Heh, right. It can even lead to resentment sometimes. I know when I see a "confident" women I'm not attracted to acting "confident", I always say something like "Uhh, this girl has no reason to be confident. She needs to back it down a notch." Of course if I was attracted to her I'd probably say "Oh boy, I love her confidence. She's so hawt :p" Ha. I know what you mean. If I dont find a girl attractive in some way, I deem her confidence as over-confidence or a "she thinks shes all that" type of attitude. If I find a girl attractive then her confidence comes across very sexy...and I even invite some arrogance on her part lol Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Wholigan stated in part that he started noticing more glances from women than he had before his little tryst. However, many people were quick to point out that more likely than not, women were always looking at him but he just chose not to see it or interpret it as such. Take a man. Clone him. Give one great confidence. This will effect his body language and the way he carries himself. Give the other low self esteem. This will also effect the way he moves and carries himself. Women will feel more attracted to the clone with great self confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 A man with a strong sense of self and an identity will RADIATE confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Its a vague fluff cliche word in the dating world..i know insecure people who so well with women becasue therye really good looking.. If you are unattractive and have confidence it will not make women attracted to you..they have to be attracted to you first before this magic pixie dust known as "confidence" will help 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 What women are attracted to is a strong sense of identity. Confidence is very closely related to it and I think it is how a lot of people think of it because it is about how confident you feel about who you are. This is why car mechanics can attract women as much as doctors can. As long as the man is comfortable in his skin and he knows what he wants, there will be women that find him attractive. Indeed, because his "confidence" will give him more opportunities to be seen as attractive. Confidence is only made "tangible" to people because they attach and associate generally attractive characteristics to confidence. That's why you see so many different definitions and interpretations of "confidence"...ask 10 people what they think confidence is, and you may very well get 10 different answers...because each person associates confidence with their own individual flavor of what they find attractive. How often do you meet a girl who is attracted to a guy but thinks he's terribly unconfident...? I'd venture to say it's rather rare... Stated in another way, my perspective is that people aren't necessarily attracted to confidence...they merely use confidence as a label for what they're attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Apolo-jism, Hokie. How many ways to Sunday are you going to twist the confidence issue? Either piss or get off the pot. It's not twisting at all...it's similar to why people ponder philosophy, science, or even religion... Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Heh, right. It can even lead to resentment sometimes. I know when I see a "confident" women I'm not attracted to acting "confident", I always say something like "Uhh, this girl has no reason to be confident. She needs to back it down a notch." Of course if I was attracted to her I'd probably say "Oh boy, I love her confidence. She's so hawt :p" Ha. I know what you mean. If I dont find a girl attractive in some way, I deem her confidence as over-confidence or a "she thinks shes all that" type of attitude. If I find a girl attractive then her confidence comes across very sexy...and I even invite some arrogance on her part lol Two great and simple examples of what I mean...people aren't necessarily attracted to confidence...they associate confidence with traits they find attractive...which creates the internal perception that they are "attracted" to confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Take a man. Clone him. Give one great confidence. This will effect his body language and the way he carries himself. Give the other low self esteem. This will also effect the way he moves and carries himself. Women will feel more attracted to the clone with great self confidence. No, women will feel more attracted to the clone that exhibits behaviors they find more attractive. Sure, a man's body language might reflect one's confidence level, but it's the behaviors that create the attraction, not the confidence itself. For example, take a stereotypically "confident" man who stands up straight and walks with poise. He will appear taller and physically larger due to his better posture than his clone that hunches over and slimes around. At that point, it's simple physical attraction to the man's appearance and physical presence...but hey, you might as well throw the "confidence" label on him for good measure, right...? Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 man's appearance and physical presence...but hey, you might as well throw the "confidence" label on him for good measure, right...? Those behaviours and the body language are only there because he is confident in himself. Without the self confidence the body language would be that of a man with no confidence in himself. The body language differences that occur when a man goes from being insecure to one with high self confidence are often tiny and not noticeable by someone on a conscious level. They involve eye movement. Speed at which he moves his head. Tiny variations in how the facial muscles are held on the face. Speed at which he talks. Things that are picked up on by women on a subconscious level and create feelings of attraction. Things that tell a womans brain that he can protect her, he is not scared of everything, he will do what he needs to be done, he is happy, he is in control. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 (edited) Those behaviours and the body language are only there because he is confident in himself. Without the self confidence the body language would be that of a man with no confidence in himself. The body language differences that occur when a man goes from being insecure to one with high self confidence are often tiny and not noticeable by someone on a conscious level. They involve eye movement. Speed at which he moves his head. Tiny variations in how the facial muscles are held on the face. Speed at which he talks. Things that are picked up on by women on a subconscious level and create feelings of attraction. Things that tell a womans brain that he can protect her, he is not scared of everything, he will do what he needs to be done, he is happy, he is in control. All of these physical behaviors can be trained... Similarly, I could ask a confident man to walk into a room hunched over and tell him to stare at the ground and avoid making eye contact. I'll bet the farm that he's physically capable of it. So have I just turned a confident man into an unconfident man by changing around his behaviors a little...? Sure, certain behaviors can reflect or suggest "confidence," but those behaviors are independent of confidence itself. Edited August 10, 2012 by USMCHokie Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 All of these physical behaviors can be trained... Some of them, like posture, yes. The smaller things that naturally and often subconciously come with high self confidence..... I think that would be very hard to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 The smaller things that naturally and often subconciously come with high self confidence..... I think that would be very hard to do. But the fact that they can be identified means that they can be consciously trained and developed. They have an entire PUA industry built around behaviors that are commonly associated with "confidence"...which suggests that what women actually find attractive is those behaviors reflecting confidence...i.e., a perception of confidence is all you need... Link to post Share on other sites
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