2sunny Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Scatterd - he has been understanding. In fact he may have been too understanding and patient - he's been essentially living a life without his spouse for 20 years - yet married. Understanding is one thing - but helping to the point where the person that's sick doesn't participate and do their part in living and making effort to be a partner is another. Helping too much often times hurts the one that needs to improve. His wife may get more capable of participating in life by figuring out how to begin DOING things that she IS capable of doing. If nothing else - maybe she will get motivated to ask others for help - maybe even professionals or disability or assistance from the government. Hopefully she starts doing more for herself than she was over the past few years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Scatterd - he has been understanding. In fact he may have been too understanding and patient - he's been essentially living a life without his spouse for 20 years - yet married. Understanding is one thing - but helping to the point where the person that's sick doesn't participate and do their part in living and making effort to be a partner is another. Helping too much often times hurts the one that needs to improve. His wife may get more capable of participating in life by figuring out how to begin DOING things that she IS capable of doing. If nothing else - maybe she will get motivated to ask others for help - maybe even professionals or disability or assistance from the government. I understand how he feels it is not easy to take care of your ill partner. It is so easy to assume a sick person is capable of doing something about their illness but sometimes it is not as easy as it seems. Doctors do not know how to fix this condition and it cost lots of money to do alternative medicine. Insurances do not pay for massage therapist and all the things you need to feel well. This woman could be hurting so bad that she does not want to live but has to.The medicine and things they give her may not work. Nobody would choose this sickness and its debilitating and the way one person deals with pain is different from another. As far as disability through the State they will not give it to her if her husband makes a certain amount money. She has to be divorced to get it. if he does not want to be with her I understand and he should not. But it does not change the challenge this woman has. Her family should help her, and the goverment should but are they? They may have no choice but she can not make them. It is so hard to understand how bad a person feels unless you are in their body or experiencing your self. She is ill and her and her husband are unhappy. Its so sad I feel for both its a no win situation. I am not trying to talk him into staying he has a right to move on.Hopefully he can be supportive x-husband. Her being an active partner is probably not possible for her. If she could do it she would. I pray someone can help her to feel better and she finds the help she needs. Also I hope he finds happiness. Sometimes life is not fair and sometimes partners get sick. We can only do what we can to be happy and survive. This is the reality of what illness can do to lives. Again I pray for both. Link to post Share on other sites
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