Eternal Sunshine Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I have noticed a huge change in my own mind-set in the recent months. I am much more chilled about everything. I don't spend much time over-analyzing things. A friend never gets back to me? No worries. Another friend cancels and reschedules twice? All good. My texts are not returned within 12 hours? I didn't notice. It's been good for me and all, but then I get people apologizing out of the blue and I am thinking "Uh, I didn't actually care at all...". Other people may perceive me as being doormatty and a pushover I guess. But I am genuinely not. I just don't get very affected by anything anymore, I don't take things too seriously. I find myself wondering where exactly is the line between being "easy going" and being a "doormat"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 If you don't care, you're easygoing. If it bothers you, you're a doormat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 You sound good to me ES - much healthier than obsessing and stressing over nothing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2muchlove Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I have noticed a huge change in my own mind-set in the recent months. I am much more chilled about everything. I don't spend much time over-analyzing things. A friend never gets back to me? No worries. Another friend cancels and reschedules twice? All good. My texts are not returned within 12 hours? I didn't notice. It's been good for me and all, but then I get people apologizing out of the blue and I am thinking "Uh, I didn't actually care at all...". Other people may perceive me as being doormatty and a pushover I guess. But I am genuinely not. I just don't get very affected by anything anymore, I don't take things too seriously. I find myself wondering where exactly is the line between being "easy going" and being a "doormat"? That's been my whole life. Hope there's nothing wrong because I like it. Link to post Share on other sites
LostGirl11 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 How did this happen? I want it to happen to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 How did this happen? I want it to happen to me! Me, too! I miss being that relaxed. Link to post Share on other sites
Eclypse Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Me, too! I miss being that relaxed. That's what happens when you just stop caring. I did that, best decision of my life. Now I'm hardly ever disappointed, since i have nothing to be dissappointed about! It fees fantastic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 That's what happens when you just stop caring. I did that, best decision of my life. Now I'm hardly ever disappointed, since i have nothing to be dissappointed about! It fees fantastic. Exactly! I am now in a good mood most of the time Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 I've noticed that about you, too. I think it's awesome. Maybe … it's your cat! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 I've noticed that about you, too. I think it's awesome. Maybe … it's your cat! I didn't force myself to become this way, I don't go to therapy...it just kind of happened. Strange Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 I hope it's not that YOU DON'T CARE...rather, you are much more comfortable and secure with yourself. Being aloof is a dangerous character trait to adopt, so hopefully it's not that... I've become much more like that too, but took a month of real ME time to get in touch with who I am, what I am worth, what I'm going to do for me to make me a better person, etc. I'm much more relaxed and happy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 12, 2012 Author Share Posted August 12, 2012 I hope it's not that YOU DON'T CARE...rather, you are much more comfortable and secure with yourself. Being aloof is a dangerous character trait to adopt, so hopefully it's not that... I've become much more like that too, but took a month of real ME time to get in touch with who I am, what I am worth, what I'm going to do for me to make me a better person, etc. I'm much more relaxed and happy... I think that it's a bit of both. I am definitely more detached than I used to be. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 My definition of too relaxed is when you are ok with soiling yourself. Other than that I think not sweating the small things in life is how you live a long healthy life. Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Being relaxed in life is clearly a good thing. Uptight-ness is one of the biggest turnoffs out there. I agree with the earlier comment about aloofness, though. If you get too laid-back to the point where you seem disinterested in nearly everything, that isn't good. Most people dislike others who are aloof. The key is to still be and show general interest in the world and in other people...while at the same time not sweating it when things don't go well. Not only does this apply to the small stuff in life, it also applies to things you are dedicated and passionate about. In the latter case, when something doesn't go right, learn from the incident but also quickly turn the page. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I have noticed a huge change in my own mind-set in the recent months. I am much more chilled about everything. I don't spend much time over-analyzing things. A friend never gets back to me? No worries. Another friend cancels and reschedules twice? All good. My texts are not returned within 12 hours? I didn't notice. It's been good for me and all, but then I get people apologizing out of the blue and I am thinking "Uh, I didn't actually care at all...". Other people may perceive me as being doormatty and a pushover I guess. But I am genuinely not. I just don't get very affected by anything anymore, I don't take things too seriously. I find myself wondering where exactly is the line between being "easy going" and being a "doormat"? I get that too. It only bothers me if I've actually got prepared for something and then a person cancels....but if it's just a case of not returning a text or email, I won't really notice. Generally, I'm just relieved on the basis that if they have a habit of doing that then they won't mind that I can be forgetful about returning texts etc too. Sometimes it doesn't work like that though, and the people who will glibly cancel on you get snippy about other people doing the same thing. Which is maybe a sign that when they fail to get back to you they're playing games rather than just being disorganised or absent minded. Link to post Share on other sites
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