Not sure how to go about this one..

[franderssurprise]

My ex of 2+ years (who dumped me 9 months ago) just recently started hanging out with me more because she is planning on moving to a different state in 2 months and also was recently dumped by her boyfriend because of this. She says she has missed me this whole time and that we need to hang out a lot before she goes so we can build a lasting friendship for years to come. I am good with this because I do love and care about her, though I am moving on romantically. However, during a talk where we broke a lot of tensions between us, spilled our guts and talked very personally, she revealed to me that she would still hook back up with her last ex boyfriend just for sex, but would not do that with me. This kind of disappointed me because since she expressed her sexual needs to me, I had gotten the idea of us hooking up casually a bit before she moved, so we could have some fun and end on a good note, no strings attached. But she says she would do that with her most recent ex but not me because there is too much emotion, history and feelings attached to me because we were each others first loves. And no matter how subtly I may hint to one day us hooking up again she shrugs it off or shoots it down somehow. It's not like some desperate hope for me either, like I said I love the girl and I just like the idea that anything can happen over time and I don't want to rule anything out. And right now i'm seriously only interested in a bit of fun, does anybody think theres any way of making a beneficial friends thing happen before she moves away? We have been very flirty with each other and I feel like there is still tons of sexual chemistry there, especially after the time spent apart, but maybe there hasn't been enough time? I just don't know how to test the waters in a way that won't make her uncomfortable and won't ruin our friendship.. any ideas??

[MCMLXXXIX]

She is trying to have her cake and eat it too. You need to go and have sex with someone else.

[mtber75]

You just have to move on. It will be up to her to call you back at this point. Don't force a response.

[NoMagicBullet]

Casual sex with exes rarely turns out well. Are you really looking for something casual with her, or do you want to resume the relationship? You say you still love her, like the idea than anything can happen over time, etc.

 

Also, she's told you that she wouldn't have casual sex with you "... because there is too much emotion, history and feelings attached...." There's no more testing of the waters to do -- you've already done it, and she's shot the idea down repeatedly. Its either restart the relationship (just before she moves away and only if she's open to that) or keep things platonic. Give up the idea of casual sex with her, because it won't be casual, at least not for her, and you may ruin the friendship you do have.