rhonda Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Is there a step or a compromise between living together and getting married? I live with my boyfriend. Call me old fashioned, but I believe we should be engaged/married. He says some day we will be but he's not ready yet. I'm very uncomfortable living with this guy when he cannot give me any general estimate of how long it will be before we get engaged. We are happy together and very much in love. I thought engagement was a compromise but he thinks its too close to marriage. We both would appreciate some opinions or ideas that would give me the commitment I desire but may not be engagement/marriage. Is there any middle ground? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Why are you living with him then? Move out, continue dating, and tell him you will move back in when he is ready to make more of a commitment to you. i.e. engagement. He's got you right were he wants you. Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 What are his reasons for not getting engaged? Link to post Share on other sites
rhonda Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 He thinks we haven't been dating long enough (a little over a year) and he has said he wants to be certain he can support me. I have a good job and get by and he is well off. Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 And if he told you that he never wanted to be married what would you do? Would you end the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 I'll just give you my history and maybe that will help. I met my sweetie five years ago. I am now 36 and she is 33. We spent so much time together at the beginning we decided to move in after about a year. At first she seemed to expect a proposal after 2 years. Well it took four after moving in. We are now engaged. Why so long? After we talked about it we both realized we needed a little more time to grow. Late bloomers I guess being in our 30's. The thing is a year is not a very long time to make a decision about a lifelong commitment to someone. Give it a couple years at least, we're talking about the rest of your life. If you aren't comfortable living with him without an engagement them you might not want to but apparently you've already made that decision. You didn't mention your ages. Thing is though, you don't really know someone until you live with them. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Everyone believes differently! But I think a relationship is either great or not so great, I understand you wanting commitment but what's different about being engaged and living together? I'm confused, it's just his word on both ends. He can ask you to marry him or not but either way in the end isn't it his actions and his faithfulness in the relationship that counts? Again I know everyone sees things different! Link to post Share on other sites
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