Ex's: After GiGs

[Magda70]

Those were also younger relationships.

It's a very immature process.

 

What's immature? The coming back of the dumper or the BU due to GIGS?

[Coffee20]

Coffee20,

 

Look that there is a (even not so) subtle difference between what the OP wrote and what you have assumed: the OP does not speak about taking the ex back but about how exes (dumpers) come back to ASK you back.

 

Some of us still expect/hope the ex realized having made a mistake and come back to tell it to you. That's the ultimate satisfaction in the whole healing process and has nothing to do with taking them back.

 

Right or wrong that is, realistic or not, that's the (sole) hope many dumpees have. It's a feeling which might stay inside you long after the love for the ex is gone for good.

 

my 2 cents

 

Hi,

I do understand and I am still being silly and thinking my ex will come to this realization too. But I don't think it ill bring me any satisfaction. Maybe for a while yes.

That was just my opinion. That people who cheat doesn't deserve to be taken back, cause I wouldn't honestly care, like I cared before.

[Renard99]

It doesn't necessarily have to be called GIGS but I do believe that the set of circumstances exist. I also feel that not all breakups are technically GIGS. It's called the Grass Is Greener, suggesting that, whilst there is still grass of which there's technically nothing wrong, the person sees the potential of 'better' grass. The alternative I see is would be the Grass Is green, suggesting there is nothing where you are and you are looking for actual grass to start with.

 

Anyway, back to the question....... My ex did all the things that fit the pattern. Changed her lifestyle, partied hard, did things or went places that she never used to, changed her wardrobe and hairstyle, broadened her horizons and slowly got further and further away from me, until one day, out of the blue she says she doesn't love me anymore, she dumps me and moves out.......

Then over time I see her slowly revert back to the old hairstyle, old clothes and seemingly old attitude (we work on the same street so occasionally crossed paths). Then one day she sees me and actually acknowledges me with a nod and a smile. I get back to my desk and find a long email saying she's thought long and hard and wants to give it another go........

Problem is, 10 months have passed, I'd moved on, and I was even in the very early stages of seeing someone new. Part of me wanted her back and I even considered it, but being with the new woman had shown me how much hard work, how painfully time consuming and ultimately bad for me the old relationship was....... so I said no!

 

She even admitted she'd wanted to experience 'what else was out there' only to realise what she really wanted 'was what she left behind'

 

So, whilst it wasn't successful, technically she did come back.

Edited August 16, 2012 by Renard99