Help I need your advice!!!

[firegirl952]

I need some advice.....here is my story.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together for 10

years. We have no children at this time. We have been having problems for

several months, the tension between us continues to grow on a daily

basis. Recently my husband stated that he cared for me but no longer had

feelings of love for me. We attempting counciling but he is stubbarn

and convinced that it would not work and at the last session we were

instructed to contact divorce attorneys. The past few years I was

suffering from depression-chronic and very severe. I am no in therapy and on

meds and have made great progress. I would often take my frustrions

and negativity out on him. I offered him support at the same time

however he will only concentrate on the negative aspects of our past. I am

still very much in love with him and want to save our marriage but he is

not willing to work on it and wants to go our separate ways. Is there

any hope? We are still living in the same house but in different

rooms. We often eat dinner together and talk. he says that if i want to

move out then I should but will not tell me how he feels on all of this.

He will not discuss our future, what the next step is, has never

mentioned divorce or separation, still says good morning and good night to

me, eats dinner together, makes dinner occasionally. I am very

frustrated and confused about his actions and feelings at this moment. Is there

hoep for us? What is the next logically step that I should take? What

do his mixed signals mean? Thank you for your time and effort I

greatly appreciate it.

[HokeyReligions]

Stay on your meds and in therapy and focus on yourself right now. Don't focus on proving to him that you have changed. He will see it as you progress.

 

There is always hope for reconciliation, but don't count on it. The fact that he has not kicked you out, or left on his own, could mean that he still cares about you as a person and doesn't want you to suffer financially, but he just doesn't love you.

 

Don't lean on him. Be civil. Talk to your therapist about maybe setting up bi-monthly "meetings" with him to discuss your living arrangements, finances, household, and relationship and feelings. Get some guidance on this though. If he doesn't want to do this, tell him you are approaching it like any set of roommates should and not necessarily as a couple. This may at least open the door for you to lead into the relationship aspect. BUT TALK TO YOUR COUNSELOR FIRST---IN YOUR SPECIFIC CASE THIS MAY BE A BAD IDEA. Your counselor knows you and the situation and can tell you if this is or is not a good idea for you now.