StrangeBehaviors Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Go "woman" on her. Tell her something you willingly did for women in past relationships she wants.....and never, ever, for any reason do it for her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 OK, I've patiently read through this entire overly long thread. I may be a little older than these posters but I think I have something to say. First of all, to the OP, don't misread me, I'm not your enemy. You have jealousy issues. It's obvious to many people on here but you may not realize the extent of it. How do I know? I went through something like this a very long time ago with a past partner. You're jealous of things she did with other guys before she met you. It's actually quite common for men who are inexperienced, who got a late start, or who have had fewer partners than their partner. You're resentful of things she did which she can no longer control. If this simple act means that much to you (and I don't get how it could, but I'll try to imagine other things, we all have different preferences) then you should leave, as so many posters suggested. However, I'd like you to remember that you said your sex life is good in every other way. As you get older, good luck with that. how convenient that she performs this act from the ages of 16 to 29 and then after swallowing God knows hows much cum over 13 years suddenly decides she's had her last drop and quits cold Turkey the day she met me The way that you said "God knows how much..." shows your bitterness and resentment here. Let me speculate about your lady friend. Once upon a time, she was insecure about dating and wanted to get attention from guys. She did whatever she thought she needed to do to attract them and keep them, including things she really disliked. She probably did a lot of things she hasn't told you about, that would really be a deal breaker if you knew, but she had enough respect not to tell you (just a guess). But over time she got more mature and confident, grew into herself, and established boundaries. It's not your fault that you came along after that time, but you have to accept and respect her boundaries. Now I am someone that would eat cockroaches or jump off of a sea cliff if it really got my partner excited, but thankfully I don't have to. She respects me enough not to ask for anything weird, or even mention it in my presence. I'm not going around asking her for crazy stuff, like threesomes with a younger woman or skydiving sex. Contrary to what one poster said I really do think this whole thing is about sex. Male sexual jealousy in particular, and female sexual disgust. You're not getting anywhere by pushing your partner and the more you ask for it, the less willing she will be to even do other stuff for you and the more resentful she will become. So what are your choices? A) Leave, because you are obviously unhappy and this means so much to you. Good luck finding a woman who likes that act; Most of them actually don't, but some like it so much that they will even give it back to you with a kiss. B) Once again, Leave, because you will never stop being jealous of this woman; you simply don't have enough experience and/or maturity. C) Find something sexually exciting and kinky which she hasn't done with any of those other guys and do it together. This will be your secret together. If you pick the right thing, it's going to blow your mind. Trust me, this works. But then you're still stuck with the jealousy, because you haven't let go of your resentment and grown out of it (this takes TIME). Which brings me back to A and B. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 You don't command the same level of respect, simple as that. Why do you keep equating swallowing cum when you hate to swallow cum with "respect"? I don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 First of all, to the OP, don't misread me, I'm not your enemy. You have jealousy issues. It's obvious to many people on here but you may not realize the extent of it. How do I know? I went through something like this a very long time ago with a past partner. You're jealous of things she did with other guys before she met you. It's actually quite common for men who are inexperienced, who got a late start, or who have had fewer partners than their partner. You're resentful of things she did which she can no longer control. Absolutely outstanding post. I can relate very well to this, as I have suffered from the same thing in my relationships. I have always been in relationships where there is a HUGE disparity in relationship experience, and I still have yet to figure out a way to rationally and effectively deal with it... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 "Dont ask, don't tell" Is a great policy.. then add in "Don't care" Well you can't exactly hide a previous marriage or a kid... Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 And off we go with da rulez! Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) Personally I see the whole "Not swallowing" thing turning into a mountain from a mole hill as you claim the action itself doesn't matter to you, but there are several compounding issues that are making this into a larger problem. All that follows are simply my opinion drawn from a one sided perspective portrayed by the OP. 1. From my perspective, there are some justifiable insecurities from the OP. He has stated that she swallowed for previous BFs. That creates the [paraphrased] thought process "Why did she do that for them and won't do it for me? What is wrong with me? Etc. Etc." That itself will become a poison in the relationship and spread into other fights, and lead to a breakup. Yes, because women won't tolerate this sort of jealousy, and they shouldn't. He should learn to deal or get out. 2. As an unknown information is how many times she swallowed for her exes (I don't think its been posted, correct me if I'm wrong). She may have only done it few times on request or all the time. We don't know. If we assume that she did it rarely, it can be assumed that this time around with the OP, she may have simply said "Screw it, I hate doing it, I don't want to." But if she regularly did it in the past, it does beg the question why she did it for her exes, and not for the OP? [I use assume because we do not have this information] This is irrelevant because human beings are not statues made of stone. They are rivers that keep changing. She doesn't like it now. Although I'd guess that his non-Alpha male behavior could have something to do with it, that doesn't matter either. If a man doesn't respect a woman's sexual boundaries, pretty soon he won't be getting any. 3. This leads to the question: Why does she hate it? The OP has stated she hasn't given a clear answer. If she did, her wishes should be respected by the OP. But the OP claims she hasn't. Again this feeds into my first point. The potential dishonesty in withholding information drives an insecurity and mistrust which will in turn fuel fights, resentment, and eventually a breakup. She hates it; it doesn't matter why, and he shouldn't pry. How did he find out this information to begin with? Be careful what you wish for. A man shouldn't ask about his woman's past because he might not like the answer and it can't be changed. I agree with USMCHokie in that the topic is interchangeable. It could be cuddling, holding hands, meeting parents, or another thing that would drive the question "Why is she refusing this to me but not someone else?" Its something that is toxic. Cuddling and holding hands are connected with sexual affection; bad example. Not meeting the parents, you're a temp- dump her. Let's give a different example to show that this isn't sexual: Men don't get irrationally (and sometimes violently) jealous because their girlfriends played golf with an ex 10 years ago and don't want to do it with them now. Evolution hasn't made golf a priority. Sex is a priority, and it is an essential part of a good relationship for men just as other signs of affection are. If a man gets as incredibly jealous about golf as he does about sex, he needs to check himself into a psychiatric hospital ASAP. On a side note, that fact that she asks for anal (which you dislike) and doesn't swallow for you for whatever reason, may simply be a sign the two of you are sexually incomparable. Absolutely, I couldn't agree more with that. The swallowing issue is only the surface other what I feel is deeper problems. It would probably be better to breakup unless she is more forthcoming. She has no duty to be forthcoming with him. But a breakup is probably the best option. Edited August 13, 2012 by Garfish Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 She hates it; it doesn't matter why, and he shouldn't pry. How did he find out this information to begin with? Be careful what you wish for. A man shouldn't ask about his woman's past because he might not like the answer and it can't be changed. As a thought, look at it from another perspective. She reveals a vulnerability to him and then, he uses it against her. Talk about trust and respect negating. I would have personally ditched any guy on the spot for pulling this one so this speaks quite clearly about her issues which are: Should have kept details this intimate to herself, particularly with someone as immature.Appears to be incapable of asserting personal boundaries with men. These two are the classic train wreck couple. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) Should have kept details this intimate to herself, particularly with someone as immature. Immature or not, it's never a good idea to discuss what you did with past partners. That's why it's called THE PAST. It's nobody's business, and I'd even go so far as to say it's disrespectful to tell your partner such things. But he may have asked her; if so that's also disrespectful and downright foolish. He's lucky; it could have been something much worse for him- like an orgy. Imagine the OP dealing with that. These two are the classic train wreck couple. Yep. Edited August 13, 2012 by Garfish Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) Wow someone on this thread has issues and I'm not talking about the OP. Sounds like a young fellow who's reading far too much of that "PUA" garbage. FYI I didn't want kids all that bad. If I'd had one like you I'd be sorry. Edited August 13, 2012 by Garfish Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 LMFAO???? You are the most BETA-male poster in this thread. "Respect a woman's sexual boundaries." Get out of here, I almost puked When a guy doesn't respect her boundaries, they have a legal term for that. It's called rape. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Wow someone on this thread has issues and I'm not talking about the OP. Sounds like a young fellow who's reading far too much of that "PUA" garbage. FYI I didn't want kids all that bad. If I'd had one like you I'd be sorry. This ... coming from the guy who makes a thread with the title 'are all women psycho's'. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Wow someone on this thread has issues and I'm not talking about the OP. Sounds like a young fellow who's reading far too much of that "PUA" garbage. FYI I didn't want kids all that bad. If I'd had one like you I'd be sorry. He's using the tactic called AMOG, where he's trying to assert his dominance over you. It's amusing how ineffective it is and also, how unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Thisisbs Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 As a thought, look at it from another perspective. She reveals a vulnerability to him and then, he uses it against her. Talk about trust and respect negating. I would have personally ditched any guy on the spot for pulling this one so this speaks quite clearly about her issues which are: Should have kept details this intimate to herself, particularly with someone as immature.Appears to be incapable of asserting personal boundaries with men. These two are the classic train wreck couple. She is trying to assert personal boundaries, but she was dumped for doing so. I feel like OP is dwelling on the past way too much. If you love someone, you will be willing to do many things to please them, but you can't always put them first, especially in a situation like this. If you really love someone you wouldn't make them undergo stress by doing something they aren't comfortable with or don't like. Many people have stressed people having different preferences and perspectives, and if this is the case then there is no real right answer to the question being asked and the answer is whatever you think is right, although I do think true love goes past sex and it is certainly not a thing you should dwell too much on, of course it is a big part of the relationship, but not the only part. Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 This ... coming from the guy who makes a thread with the title 'are all women psycho's'. As I said before, I was joking about that and wished I'd left it out. Don't you ever joke about the opposite sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) He's using the tactic called AMOG, where he's trying to assert his dominance over you. It's amusing how ineffective it is and also, how unattractive. What's AMOG stand for? I don't read that stuff. Too mature I guess. Oh never mind, I googled it. Edited August 13, 2012 by Garfish Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 He's using the tactic called AMOG, where he's trying to assert his dominance over you. It's amusing how ineffective it is and also, how unattractive. No, he isn't. This is AMOG: An aggressive male who is competing for the attention of the target. Or used as a verb, the act of taking attention away from another male so that he is no longer a threat. Also referred to as “Alpha Male Other Guy." He makes a point to a guy who is in a 12yr relationship with a woman who : - he doesn't live with - accuses him of being a female beater for sending a non-threatening e-mail - needs couseling Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 What's AMOG stand for? I don't read that stuff. Too mature I guess.It stands for Alpha male [the] other guy. Yes, it's puerile, particularly when used in such a disrespectful way. You revealed a vulnerability and now, the PUA guys are attempting to negate your advice by using it against you. Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 It stands for Alpha male [the] other guy. Yes, it's puerile, particularly when used in such a disrespectful way. You revealed a vulnerability and now, the PUA guys are attempting to negate your advice by using it against you. Hmmm as if I really cared about these boys? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Hmmm as if I really cared about these boys?The easiest way to deal with these guys is to ignore them. Now that you're aware of the tactic, you're better prepared for LS and all its eccentricities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Garfish Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 People should remember there was an OP who needed help, which is why I chimed in. Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 The point that many people are missing, is that my gf has done this act with many of her previous men. I am not trying to get her to do something she has sworn off or that she has never done before. I just that she has done it for everyone else so how could she not do it for me? How old are you 16 ? I will tell you what PLEASE dump your girlfriend as she deserves far far better than you believe me. To dump a person because she won't swallow your load, how utterly pathetic. Also all the people saying she should do it are actually guilty of sexual abuse and that is a pretty serious thing where I come from. I am still wondering if this thread is some sort of wind up as surely no one could be so pathetic ? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
weallfalldown Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 just hold her head firmly then don't let it go...then shot the lot........ gag gag gag.......... Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Ok, admittedly I only read the first two pages of responses. But here are my thoughts: 1. She may have said it in the beginning to impress you or to turn you on. We all sort of fluff up our feathers in the beginning, don't we? 2. She may have done it in the past, hated it as you said, but did it because she wasn't secure enough with herself to not do it. I've put up with things in past relationships that I didn't enjoy that I wouldn't do now, even if my boyfriend threatened to break up with me. With time and aging brings confidence and a willingness to stand up for what you want. I don't think this has anything to do with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Respecting a woman is the first and most important step to having her leave you. Respect is a sign of male weakness in the eyes of young, attractive women. No, you shatter their confidence and personality before rebuilding it to your liking. You've said it yourself. Nobody ever got more from you than your "abusive" ex. The things you reluctantly did for him, did you ever do them for anyone else? Of course not. Job well done, I'd like to meet your ex and shake his hand. The experience is far less satisfying. You own a prostitute for an hour, if you do it right you own girls you've been with forever. Because you can measure the level of respect a woman has for you by what she's willing to do for you. Her refusal to do something for the OP that she has done for every partner from age 16-29 is a flagrant display of disrespect. Could I have some of that stuff you're smoking, I could use a good break for reality right about now. You have some serious issues. I mean SERIOUS. Link to post Share on other sites
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