Dumping her for sexual reasons... over-reacting?

[threebyfate]

This woman admitted to me that she has given herself to other men on a level that she will not to for me, even when requested. How am I not supposed to be insecure about that? What if your boyfriend held all his exes hands in public but wouldn't dare do it with you? Wouldn't you at least have some questions about it?

Once again. What part of "hating it", don't you understand?

 

Let's pretend your girlfriend got off on watching you eat cockroaches where you've eaten bugs for exes. Would you gladly eat cockroaches for her?

[florence of suburbia]

If she swallowed for you tonight and in the future despite her revulsion would you be satisfied?

[USMCHokie]

If she swallowed for you tonight and in the future despite her revulsion would you be satisfied?

 

I believe he said this would satisfy him.

[SpinScratch]

If she swallowed for you tonight and in the future despite her revulsion would you be satisfied?

 

Yes.. if she did it only once I would drop it... my only desire is to receive the same that other men got. and just to add, she did it despite her revulsion for everyone else, so why am I different?

[florence of suburbia]

I believe he said this would satisfy him.

 

So he can reach orgasm while knowing she's trying her best not to gag and throw up?

 

Maybe he gets off on nauseating his sexual partner?

[florence of suburbia]

Yes.. if she did it only once I would drop it... my only desire is to receive the same that other men got. and just to add, she did it despite her revulsion for everyone else, so why am I different?

 

You should want more than other men got. Like honesty and trust.

[USMCHokie]

So he can reach orgasm while knowing she's trying her best not to gag and throw up?

 

Maybe he gets off on nauseating his sexual partner?

 

I honestly don't think this has anything to do with sex...you could replace the act of swallowing with literally anything else and the issue in his mind would remain the same...

[threebyfate]

Once again. What part of "hating it", don't you understand?

 

Let's pretend your girlfriend got off on watching you eat cockroaches where you've eaten bugs for exes. Would you gladly eat cockroaches for her?

Bump. You haven't answered this question.

[florence of suburbia]

I honestly don't think this has anything to do with sex...you could replace the act of swallowing with literally anything else and the issue in his mind would remain the same...

 

Sorry, I could never orgasm while aware my sexual partner was about to retch.

[snug.bunny]

I honestly don't think this has anything to do with sex...

 

Correct...

[threebyfate]

Sorry, I could never orgasm while aware my sexual partner was about to retch.

Same here. It's disturbing to imagine forcing your partner to eat shyte, just because of personal insecurities.

[CarrieT]

OP, other than hating it, has she explained WHY she won't do it JUST ONCE for you?

[florence of suburbia]

Correct...

 

How can it not have to do with sex?!

 

If she swallows his backwash beer instead would he be equally satisified?!

 

Refer to thread title, please.

[snug.bunny]

How can it not have to do with sex?!

 

If she swallows his backwash beer instead would he be equally satisified?!

 

Refer to thread title, please.

 

It has little (if anything) to do with sex, for the OP....OP has stated the act itself is not something that is important to him. But rather, the principal...

[USMCHokie]

How can it not have to do with sex?!

 

If she swallows his backwash beer instead would he be equally satisified?!

 

Refer to thread title, please.

 

It has little (if anything) to do with sex, for the OP....OP has stated the act itself is not something that is important to him. But rather, the principal...

 

Correct. Reading a little deeper into the thread and OP's posts, you'll see that the underlying principle of his GF refusing to do something she has done with others before. It just happened to be a sexual act.

 

And as a quick aside, if the girl in question allegedly hated it so much, why did she do it with multiple guys before OP and then suddenly decide to stop with him? Just curious as to why she didn't stop after the first experience...

[florence of suburbia]

It has little (if anything) to do with sex, for the OP....OP has stated the act itself is not something that is important to him. But rather, the principal...

 

I get that, but she's to prove herself in the bedroom.

 

At the same time he is orgasming, she'll be gagging. Just wondering how one deals with that emotionally in the moment. Or does he just block it out and pretend they are both enjoying it?

 

Not rhetorical, I seriously want to know.

[threebyfate]

And as a quick aside, if the girl in question allegedly hated it so much, why did she do it with multiple guys before OP and then suddenly decide to stop with him? Just curious as to why she didn't stop after the first experience...

If you take this thread and the OP into consideration, the answer should be obvious. She appears to be attracted to a certain type.

[threebyfate]

Because she usually dates men she respects.

Sounds like your perspective comes from BDSM where pain is love and respect.

[USMCHokie]

She appears to be attracted to a certain type.

 

So are you suggesting that she doesn't want to perform the sexual act in question because she's not attracted to OP in the same way she was attracted to men in her past...?

[SpinScratch]

Once again. What part of "hating it", don't you understand?

 

Let's pretend your girlfriend got off on watching you eat cockroaches where you've eaten bugs for exes. Would you gladly eat cockroaches for her?

 

I HATE giving oral sex to a woman.. it hurts my neck, makes me gag and totally ruins the mood for me... but I do it anyway and I don't complain. I've done it for all my girlfriends so how can I deny anyone that comes next? And its no big deal.

 

So when my gf says she swallows all her bfs cum, why does she stop at me? Even after seeing how much it bothers me

[florence of suburbia]

So are you suggesting that she doesn't want to perform the sexual act in question because she's not attracted to OP in the same way she was attracted to men in her past...?

 

I think TBF meant she tends to be attracted to men who want to use her.

[threebyfate]

So are you suggesting that she doesn't want to perform the sexual act in question because she's not attracted to OP in the same way she was attracted to men in her past...?

No. She's attracted to controlling, insecure personality types.

 

At least she's learned how to say "No" but it's also possible she'll buckle under his coercive pressure. She sounds like someone who's not a very strong-willed individual.

[snug.bunny]

Correct. Reading a little deeper into the thread and OP's posts, you'll see that the underlying principle of his GF refusing to do something she has done with others before. It just happened to be a sexual act.

 

And as a quick aside, if the girl in question allegedly hated it so much, why did she do it with multiple guys before OP and then suddenly decide to stop with him? Just curious as to why she didn't stop after the first experience...

 

I tend to have a belief, that women perform this act moreso to please the man. I think a large percentage don't actually enjoy it (though I am sure some women do enjoy the act in itself). If it's something his gf did not enjoy doing in the past, but did it to please several men, but she won't do it to please him, yes I can see how OP would feel "devalued". But, maybe she felt devalued by performing those acts, and doesn't want to feel devalued with her boyfriend (the OP). Lots of "what ifs".

 

Just another reason why it is perhaps better, to leave discussions of past sexual encounters to oneself. Sometimes it can bring two people closer, other times further apart.

[threebyfate]

I HATE giving oral sex to a woman.. it hurts my neck, makes me gag and totally ruins the mood for me... but I do it anyway and I don't complain. I've done it for all my girlfriends so how can I deny anyone that comes next? And its no big deal.

 

So when my gf says she swallows all her bfs cum, why does she stop at me? Even after seeing how much it bothers me

Then stop doing it. It's that simple.

[USMCHokie]

I think TBF meant she tends to be attracted to men who want to use her.

 

No. She's attracted to controlling, insecure personality types.

 

At least she's learned how to say "No" but it's also possible she'll buckle under his coercive pressure. She sounds like someone who's not a very strong-willed individual.

 

Check. So if she's truly attracted to the controlling types, then why hasn't she succombed to OP's "control"...? Isn't that submissive nature what would get her off?

 

 

I tend to have a belief, that women perform this act moreso to please the man. I think a large percentage don't actually enjoy it (though I am sure some women do enjoy the act in itself). If it's something his gf did not enjoy doing in the past, but did it to please several men, but she won't do it to please him, yes I can see how OP would feel "devalued". But, maybe she felt devalued by performing those acts, and doesn't want to feel devalued with her boyfriend (the OP). Lots of "what ifs".

 

Just another reason why it is perhaps better, to leave discussions of past sexual encounters to oneself. Sometimes it can bring two people closer, other times further apart.

 

Agreed. I'm sure many men and women do things that they don't necessarily enjoy for the act itself; but they see the act as not merely just an act, but as a channel to demonstrate intimacy and desire for the other person.