Dumping her for sexual reasons... over-reacting?

[RogerWallace111]

^ woman posing as man ^

[Plan 9 from OS]

Anyways... I've taken everyone's posts into consideration. And I've also taken my past experiences into account. The three previous serious relationships I've had all ended the same way... my girlfriend leaving me for an exboyfriend that is more controlling, dominant, arrogant and cocky than I am. From my current posts you may not be able to tell but I am more of the gentle/attentive/affectionate types... and as time goes on, I am becoming to realize that this approach will not keep a woman with me. The more domineering ex always gets her ear and convinces her to comeback, and then months down the road I get the phonecall of her expressing regret and telling me I'm the best thing she ever had and she wants me back. Its the same thing every gf I have.... but not this time.

 

It might seem petty to some of you. But my girlfriend swallowing cum of other men shows me that she is willing to submit to them. And in turn, by her not doing the same for me, shows me that she is not willing to submit to me. In my mind, she will leave me for someone who she is willing to submit, someone "swallow-worthy". Unless I dump her first. ... call me crazy, but in my experience, this is my reality. I really do love the girl honestly, and as bad as it sounds. She's gonna swallow when I get home tomorrow or she's OUT.

 

This goes much deeper than her not swallowing his semen. If you look at this post from the OP, I think he feels that he has been taken advantage of and not respected by his current and past 3 GFs. In his words he comes across as gentle, affectionate and attentive - which can also be interpreted as excessively needy and fawning by his past GFs if done to excess. Is the OP the type to give someone the shirt off his back and shares traits with a doormat? IDK, but he may be thinking that he does exhibit these traits regardless of whether it is true or not. According to the OP his last 3 girlfriends left him because they didn't want the nice guy but wanted the more "manly men" that didn't fawn over them or treat them with respect like he did.

 

I do believe that excessively nice men tend to get hurt in relationships far too often because their GF's/Wives lose respect for them over time due to their excessively accommodating ways. The phrase "nice guys finish last" is overly simplistic but is not far from the mark in many circumstances when it comes to dating.

 

OP, I wouldn't be too hung up on whether she swallows or not. In reality, what you need most from your GF in order to validate your own self worth as a BF (and a future husband) is that she loves and respects you as a person. I'm guessing that you are one of those nice guys that is trying to make a stand for yourself for once. Well, there are better times and places to make your stand. What I think you need to work on more than anything is to work on yourself so that if you are the "nice guy (doormat)", that you start learning to say no and to start thinking more about what you want out of relationships that will fulfill you in every way. Respect her wished about not wanting to swallow, but then don't be afraid to take one or 2 sexual favors that you don't like doing for her off the table too. You wouldn't be doing this to be childish, it is for you to claim your own self respect and her respect. If you respect her to no longer demand that she swallow, then she should be willing to respect you and no longer expect you to provide her with anal sex if you don't like to do it.

 

The vast majority of your relationship - based only on what we know - is fantastic. You two both have a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Do you want to throw all of that away for a girl that may not measure up? It's your call.

Edited August 13, 2012 by Plan 9 from OS
change of wording

[Zammo25]

Your whole focus and emotional reaction about what she did with other men in the past, combined with your insistence that she should do something she HATES just because she managed it in the past and you want it say clearly, to me, anyway, that this girl needs to move on from YOU if you don't break up with her.

 

Y'all are not working well together.

 

Get your cum swallowed elsewhere, for crying out loud, and let her have a relationship with a guy who cares about her likes and dislikes sexually!

 

The guy is ridiculous. What happens if it got serious and the bills, mortgage comes long and all the life challenges we face daily. He is not happy as his girlfriend will not swallow his load. It is beyond stupid and is without doubt the most pathetic thread I think I have ever read in my life.

[RogerWallace111]

making me quote myself...

 

women are swallowing cum all over the world at any given moment. it can't be that bad. if the tables were turned, i'd be doing it for her. if you really love and want to please someone just f*cking do that sort of sh*t ! how hard is it ? I'd be saying the same thing if it were a female poster saying her guy wouldn't go down on her, after revealing that he had for all his past women but "hates" doing it or it "tastes bad". Have her wash well ! or have him eat foods that are known to cut semen acidity ! But f*cking do it !

 

and yes, in the long run, things won't go well with a girl who doesn't care about you enough to quell your insecurity (immature/trivial or not) by just swallowing that ****. it's not a sexist thing, it goes both ways. people in a deep, strong relationship should adore each other to the point something this simple should be a no-brainer (no pun intended).

 

 

 

It's not like youre asking her to do something that will actually cause her pain. Her love just doesn't seem that it's of the heaviest magnitude if she can't get past the bad taste of your nut to make you feel better. Everyone will retort: "well his love for her can't be that strong if he's willing to break up over something so meaningless". But it's the principle of that ****. I know people are uppity about the use of the word respect on here, but a woman who truly loves you, and has deep respect for you, could get past her "no, it's icky" feeling and go for it, if she were really aiming to please you. Again same would go if the genders were reversed.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Oh snap, are you sure you want to go with that one? I personally think subtly implying men are homosexual and/or impotent is much more effective.

 

But I don't think you are homosexual. Impotent - maybe. Whatever the reason, I'm pretty sure you are not having the kind of sex life you wish you had. Or, should I say, that you believe you're entitled to.

[Mme. Chaucer]

The fact that he's been showing her a modicum of respect so far is the reason he's not having his nut swallowed in the first place.

 

That's right, sonny boy. Treat women like crap and they'll eat it up with a spoon and beg for more. Where you hang out, anyway.

 

I'm sure you treat all women like crap with religious fervor … why is it that you can't get any of the poor bedraggled creatures to have sex with you?

[YorickBrown]

Darn it!!! I go away for a couple days from LS and this is the hottest topic right now?!? (69 Likes so far as of this post! How appropriate!)

 

Why can't I come up with topics like this?!? This is just too hard for me to.....swallow

 

PS: Now I suddenly miss my ex...<sigh>

[Mme. Chaucer]

I wonder how many women here "swallow" (or even give BJ's at all) to guys who show them no respect?

 

I bet … none.

 

Greznog, I realize you are trying to be incendiary, as usual, but really. You are just coming off as stupid. Yes, you can easily sexually abuse women who have no self respect and who are hurt and damaged. I think that would be pretty low, but evidently it's something you'd be proud to accomplish.

 

The majority of us are happier with mutually respectful relationships.

 

Honest.

[threebyfate]

That's right, sonny boy. Treat women like crap and they'll eat it up with a spoon and beg for more. Where you hang out, anyway.

 

I'm sure you treat all women like crap with religious fervor … why is it that you can't get any of the poor bedraggled creatures to have sex with you?

I've come to the conclusion that this thread and many within it, are wind ups. It's too picture perfect, especially with the dramatic declaration about watching a nice guy become a jerk.

[RogerWallace111]

 

It might seem petty to some of you. But my girlfriend swallowing cum of other men shows me that she is willing to submit to them. And in turn, by her not doing the same for me, shows me that she is not willing to submit to me. In my mind, she will leave me for someone who she is willing to submit, someone "swallow-worthy".

 

Unfortunately, this is a realistic assessment of the situation. The word "submit" makes it sound kind of sinister , as I don't think it should be about assertion of dominance , simply affirmation of her willingness to please you how she's pleased others. But it's quite naive for anyone on here to act like her not doing it for you when she's done it for others has no deeper implications, and can be chocked up to "she did it a bunch of times & found out she hates it, respect her wishes!"

 

Of f*cking course super confident guys get chicks to do the freakiest ****. And of course it's about a "respect" they have for those guys' confidence. It would be ridiculous to argue that the mild-mannered nice guy tends to bring out a girls "kinky" side just as readily as his more masculine counter part.

[Mme. Chaucer]

and yes, in the long run, things won't go well with a MAN who doesn't care about you enough to quell your insecurity (immature/trivial or not) by just caring about what you like and hate sexually it's not a sexist thing, it goes both ways. people in a deep, strong relationship should adore each other to the point something this simple should be a no-brainer (no pun intended).

 

I know people are uppity about the use of the word respect on here, but a MAN who truly loves you, and has deep respect for you, could get past HIS "I must have my cum swallowed" feeling and go for it, if HE were really aiming to please you. Again same would go if the genders were reversed.

 

I fixed this post to reflect a role reversal for you.

[RogerWallace111]

Naysayers, PLEASE RESPOND TO MY LAST COMMENT ^^^ Seriously, can you acknowledge the truth in that ??

 

and why does everyone act like there is some black and white with "respect", and that he is somehow inherently disrespecting her by wanting some simple gratification?

[yessy21]

There's personal preference and then there's control issues. This is pointing towards personal insecurities manifesting as extreme partner control.

 

Do break up with her since her preferences don't appear to matter to you.

 

 

AGREED 100%

 

Please break up with this girl. but NOT because she wont swallow... but because, its all about your Sexual needs and what she feels, or thinks doesnt matter to you.

 

By the way ... i swallowed my ex's stuff all the time.. it took me 4 years to do so ... my boyfriend now... hasnt had his swallowed yet. it will be onlyyyyy when its deserved. LOL

 

Also... maybe your natural body odor isnt sweet enough for her to want to taste the nectar.

[RogerWallace111]

I personally have more respect for the swallowers. Being more square sexually doesn't = admirable/right/respectable

[CarrieT]

Naysayers, PLEASE RESPOND TO MY LAST COMMENT ^^^ Seriously, can you acknowledge the truth in that ??

 

and why does everyone act like there is some black and white with "respect", and that he is somehow inherently disrespecting her by wanting some simple gratification?

 

Everybody has not responded with the B&W concept of "respect." Go back to my last post - it has to do with COMMUNICATION and the fact that neither of you respect each other enough to talk about this silly issue.

[RogerWallace111]

^ Your post was quite true and insightful. I was referring to those acting acting like there were no deeper issues at play and insisting she just decided she didn't like it, that was that, and that if she were with a less docile guy she'd still be holding her ground.

 

And 1 more thought. A girl getting "dirtier" with a more confident, masculine guy doesn't mean she is "submitting" to his will or is sadly carrying out the deeds she's been pressured to. In most cases, it probably means she's turned on by his confidence/demeanor, and is in a more adventurous, aroused state cause of the way he makes her feel. Some of you guys are acting like girls are just fragile toys for males and that in a perfect world they wouldn't "have to" do anything to please these brutish men ! Females are an equally reckonable sexual force.

[AlexCross]

AGREED 100%

 

Please break up with this girl. but NOT because she wont swallow... but because, its all about your Sexual needs and what she feels, or thinks doesnt matter to you.

 

By the way ... i swallowed my ex's stuff all the time.. it took me 4 years to do so ... my boyfriend now... hasnt had his swallowed yet. it will be onlyyyyy when its deserved. LOL

 

Also... maybe your natural body odor isnt sweet enough for her to want to taste the nectar.

 

Yeah keep punishing your boyfriend and playing your sexual games, dont be surprised if he kicks your ass to the curb.

[AlexCross]

Lets call the out of the big elephant in the room. They are both sexually experienced people with very colorful pasts. Their choices. He is upset that he does not feel good enough, it is as simple as that.

 

I don't buy this controlling abuse bullchit. As Carrie as pointed out many times, there is a question that has not and will not be answered by the OP's gf. Why? Why won't she ? If she says, I simply dont feel comfortable doing it then thats fine. But she brought it up about her gangbangs, 3 somes, swallowing one nighters he has every right to be insecure and jealous and upset.

 

If you go to the Marriage and Parntership section, a sexless marriage does not get this much flack if one spouse isnt pulling his or her weight in the sex department. I love it how its convenient that people point out that sex is a healthy part of a relationship, but this guy is getting shafted by people here with agendas. Its simple. He wants to know WHY!

[hopeful4someday]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months. We've had ups and Downs but mostly everything is good. We currently live together in my home.

Without getting to graphic, when we first met we talked a lot about sex and she admitted that she "swallowed" with previous parteners. This does not bother me except for that fact that she never does this act with me. Even after I pointed out that it bothers me that she wont do for me what she has done for other men. After months of this bothering me, and many recent heated arguements, she still has not done it.

I have found this to be such a slap in the face to me and such a blow to my ego, that she refuses to do something to me that she has done for other men, that I am an inch away from ending the relationship and she is well aware. She is very distraught over me threatening to end it but still willnot give me a reason why she wont perform the act... I just can't hold on to a girl who has given herself to other men in a way that she will not do for me... am I over reacting??

 

Potentially yes. My ex used to basically force me to give him oral and so I would. I'm now with a guy who told me he'd never ask me to do it but if I wanted to he wouldn't mind. I haven't done it.

 

I've noticed that he's become a little more persistent about it, but here's the deal: when I think about it I think of my ex and the feelings I have for it are kind of bad because I hate my ex. Chances are good that once enough time goes by, I will do it again with my new man but I honestly enjoy the fact that he isn't pushing me and I'm glad he's giving me time to sort myself out.

 

I wouldn't swallow, anyway. It's gross, it tastes bad, and I'd rather you finish up somewhere that doesn't involve my taste buds. I say don't hate your GF/ ex-GF because she once did it for someone else. Just because she did doesn't mean that she wanted to, and it may be that she felt you were offering her some kind of sexual safety that she didn't get in other places. Just my two cents.