i'm playing these two guys and i don't know how to handle it

[playergirl]

So i sort of unintentionally got myself into this mess. a few months ago an old friend came to visit and we really hit if off and hooked up multiple times. after he left we kept in touch and started this long-distance phone talk almost every night. about a month or so later i went out to a concert with a guy who i could tell was interested in me. that night we got really wasted and ended up hooking up. then i guess i got too comfortable with that guy and we started hanging out almost every day and built this relationship that only lasted about a month and a half or so until he moved back home. meanwhile i was still talking with the first guy over the phone every now and then... over the past couple months i didn't talk to guy #2 as much but kept this open long-distance thing with guy #1. then i went on vacation to visit friends and family. i stayed with guy #2 because he offered me a place to stay and i just so happened to be going to his hometown. we hooked up blah blah blah...now guy #2 wants me to move to his city so we can be in a relationship and guy #1 is also still interested and he's going to visit me very soon!! ahh this sounds complicated. what do i do?? i don't really know who i want more, although guy #1 is leaving the country for a while and i don't know when i'll be able to see him again. do i dump both of them? tell them both the truth? or pick one over the other? help!

[Lamplight]

Have fun and enjoy it while you can!!

[playergirl]

Have fun and enjoy it while you can!!

 

that's not really the answer i was looking for... i just feel really guilty especially when they both call me on the same day looking for a sweet conversation. i feel like they're both going to get hurt in the end if/when they find out about each other

[nofool4u]

do i dump both of them?

 

Yes

 

 

tell them both the truth?

 

Only if you don't dump either one.

 

 

or pick one over the other? help!

 

If you pick one over the other, then you tell both of them the truth so the one not picked knows why, and the one you do pick has information about the kind of girl he is with so he can make the decision to stay or dump you.

 

But really, I say break up with both of them and don't be a total s*** to other guys in the future.

[AlexCross]

So i sort of unintentionally got myself into this mess. a few months ago an old friend came to visit and we really hit if off and hooked up multiple times. after he left we kept in touch and started this long-distance phone talk almost every night. about a month or so later i went out to a concert with a guy who i could tell was interested in me. that night we got really wasted and ended up hooking up. then i guess i got too comfortable with that guy and we started hanging out almost every day and built this relationship that only lasted about a month and a half or so until he moved back home. meanwhile i was still talking with the first guy over the phone every now and then... over the past couple months i didn't talk to guy #2 as much but kept this open long-distance thing with guy #1. then i went on vacation to visit friends and family. i stayed with guy #2 because he offered me a place to stay and i just so happened to be going to his hometown. we hooked up blah blah blah...now guy #2 wants me to move to his city so we can be in a relationship and guy #1 is also still interested and he's going to visit me very soon!! ahh this sounds complicated. what do i do?? i don't really know who i want more, although guy #1 is leaving the country for a while and i don't know when i'll be able to see him again. do i dump both of them? tell them both the truth? or pick one over the other? help!

 

You need to come clean to both of them and get yourself into a monogomous relationship instead of being a cheater.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Let number 1 go since he's moving to another country...If you were that interested you'd not be sleeping with anyone else, let's be honest with ourselves here.

 

#2 just tell him you aren't ready for an serious relationship right now...which you really aren't judging by your behavior even though im sure you'll try to convince yourself that mentally you are.

 

Don't let neither of these guys know you are kinda whoring around...you're not exclusive or in a relationship with either, and none of you had the talk so otherwise you're both not obligated to divulge that information...also you don't know if both aren't banging women on the side although these sound like average guys that may not be.

 

You need to just be single and figure out what you want and are looking for in a relationship, which you'll learn by being with different men...however you're in no way in a position for force yourself into a relationship, you also need to work on yourself, don't go into something all broken and confused which by your behavior it shows you've got some issues.

 

If you're like most people you'll just rush your way into something based on some half-@ss feelings, and like most people you'll learn the hard way...the question is how much will you learn before making another stupid mistake or getting yourself into a situation you know you shouldn't be...and that comes with experience and maturity, give yourself some time to learn instead of just living in the moment or you'll be hopping from one guy to the next your whole life and none of these relationships will last.

[Radu]

So i sort of unintentionally got myself into this mess. a few months ago an old friend came to visit and we really hit if off and hooked up multiple times. after he left we kept in touch and started this long-distance phone talk almost every night. about a month or so later i went out to a concert with a guy who i could tell was interested in me. that night we got really wasted and ended up hooking up. then i guess i got too comfortable with that guy and we started hanging out almost every day and built this relationship that only lasted about a month and a half or so until he moved back home. meanwhile i was still talking with the first guy over the phone every now and then... over the past couple months i didn't talk to guy #2 as much but kept this open long-distance thing with guy #1. then i went on vacation to visit friends and family. i stayed with guy #2 because he offered me a place to stay and i just so happened to be going to his hometown. we hooked up blah blah blah...now guy #2 wants me to move to his city so we can be in a relationship and guy #1 is also still interested and he's going to visit me very soon!! ahh this sounds complicated. what do i do?? i don't really know who i want more, although guy #1 is leaving the country for a while and i don't know when i'll be able to see him again. do i dump both of them? tell them both the truth? or pick one over the other? help!

 

See the bolded part ?

 

It shows that you didn't feel guilt when you 'hooked up' with the 2nd guy.

It also shows that you have poor boundaries.

I don't think that whatever guilt you are feeling is based on empathising with these 2 guys.

 

Do what ninja suggested, have fun, who cares about the future, that is still very far away ... it's not like 'hooking up' can make one feel cheap, used, and not understanding what one needs to make a serious LTR work, that's just silly.

[GLDheart]

It doesn't really sound like you are in a "exclusive" relationship with either of them. Do either of them have any reason to believe that you are exclusive?

[nofool4u]

I think we have another troll that just wants to come in Infidelity and drop a despicable story and rub peoples' nose in it.