knight56 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 My family is making fun of me because i have a girlfriend who is larger then me. Iam 25 year old and i love my girlfriend she is 400 pounds and iam 140 pounds but i dont care about that. she is sweet and funny and she love me too. but why does my family make fun of me? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Because they can't see what a 140# man sees in a 400# woman and they don't seem to have any respect for your feelings. Don't forget that fat people are descriminated against in our society. Ignore their stupidity. The two of you love one another and that's what really counts. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Because they are ignorant. Try doing a search on BBW or Big Beautiful Women; Big Women and the Men who love them; and you might find more information to help you in your arguments with your family. It's none of their business, but if they make fun of you or say anything negative about you or the girl, then it is their own ignorant narrow-mindedness and nothing to do with you or your gf's. Educate them that big women have the same feelings, needs, emotions, desires, and dreams that thin people have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author knight56 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 I love her but why is that that most people like to stare at us? I dont understand is me?? or my girlfriend that they stare? Like last night i told my girlfriend to the movies and some people stare why do they make fun of me? Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Because they are ignorant! IGNORANT! Society has made it seem like the only thing acceptable is thin women! WRONG! People have the ill conceived idea that heavy set people are unhealthy, yes some are as are thin people. I am a bbw and darn it I'm as healthy physically as the next thin chick except I can't run as fast hahaha! Seriously "fat" or heavy set people are for sure discriminated against and it isn't ok it wasn't ok to discriminate against other races, religions *which people chose* or gays and it's NOT ok for them to do it against overweight people! Love her and ignore them! I bet she'll love you back just as much and hopefully make you happy. I can't believe some people are so judgemental it's different if she is a rude or obnoxious woman then they have reason not to like her BUT if it's just her weight they need to wake up and stop being so petty! Link to post Share on other sites
Author knight56 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 well i know i love her. I dont care is she is 400 pounds because i love her for what in her heart. ya i know iam 140 so what right? but she is happy with her self. I dont know if kids today still make fun of large people. but who care right? but why the stares?? I dont get that?? tell me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author knight56 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 This world can be mean to large females or males. You dont see big people in movies or in talks shows. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Knight56, some people just have to have someone to despise. That's the way it has always been. If it weren't for her weight, someone would find something else about her to ridicule if she doesn't look and act like one of the sheep. I used the word fat in my original post. I know that the "politically correct" term to use is "large," but I don't use this for a good reason. I have a great friend who is 5' 1" and weighs in at about 230. Someone said something her one day that started with "Well, a large woman like yourself ..." My friend stopped her and said "Hold on! I'm not large. Actually I'm quite small, but I am fat." Another time another woman was really giving her a hard time about her weight and being incredibly insulting and condescending. My friend listened with a look or evil playfulness on her face and responded with "Well now, let me see. I'm fat and you are as stupid as a stick. I can loose wieght. What can you do for your condition?" What a gal! Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 Knight.... as long as you are happy that is all that matters..... My best friend is a large girl and she is so beautiful.... I have never seem someone carry themselves (sp) the way that she does... Yes, she is insecere but you could never tell it when she walks into a room!! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 14, 2004 Share Posted July 14, 2004 You know what, there are a lot of SHALLOW people in this world who only think about looks, but they don't stop to think that the prettiest girl with the best body can be a total bi*ch!!!! While a "big" girl can have the greatest heart, which in my opinion makes her more beautiful!!!!!!!!! If she makes you happy don't pay any attention to their comments. You are not going to leave her to make other people happy if you know that's going to make you unhappy!!!!!!!!!! Your feelings should come before any other person's because in the long run you will be left without her and they will keep living their lifes the same; plus, BIG is BEAUTIFUL!!! Now I am what people might consider "skinny" but I do have love for everyone, Big, Small, Tall, Short, all colors, races, it's what's inside that counts! Like I said before, if she makes you happy do not pay any attention to their comments. Let everything slide like oil!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Yaaay to you all! Everyone here is right, it is what inside that counts not how much the person weighs or whatever! Society has made it so hard for people to realize that but for those who still know it's in the inner beauty that matters God loves ya! Hahaha! I again have to say, (like they have all said it so well) you love her so forget what anyone else says! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I see talk of "it is what is on the inside which counts", and that it is good for persons who are overweight to have "pride" in themselves, and to find themselves beautiful. I cannot entirely agree, as I do not believe it is a good attitude for one to feel that he or she is fine, or beautiful, when he or she is unhealthy. It is good to love yourself as a person, but health problems should be addressed rather than ignored. I do not, however, see anything wrong in loving someone who may be overweight, no matter how overweight they may be. Love is for everyone, and love has no bounds. One may love anyone that he or she chooses to love, and have the right to not be discriminated against. I agree that your family is behaving in a disrespectful manner toward you. It is fine for them to disagree with your choices, but they do not have to voice their opinions in such hurtful ways. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I do not believe it is a good attitude for one to feel that he or she is fine, or beautiful, when he or she is unhealthy. It is good to love yourself as a person, but health problems should be addressed rather than ignored. Not all overweight people are unhealthy. There are many many obese people who have no other health issues, no health probs, no high blood pressure, diabetes, ect. If they do have health problems they should get them taken care of but just because they feel fine or beautiful doesn't mean they wouldn't be concerned with their health maybe they just realize they are imprisioned in a body that refuses to shrink no matter how much diet, excerise, ect is done. Why is that wrong? Should they hate what they see in the mirror or have problems with it just because it isn't the "norm" to society? Some of us are fated to being overweight no matter how healthy our lifestyles are and that's just the way it is we should be accepting of everyone no matter what they look like! Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 but why the stares?? I dont get that?? tell me? Hello, I am 110 and my bf is more than 350. We get all those stares and funny comments too.... some friends of mine even asked me once "in what position we could manage to make love", which really pissed me off. My parents haven't yet met my bf (we live in different towns) but when they got to know how much he weighs they started to make stupid comments and even suggested I dumped him. People are stupid. About the stares anyway perhaps there is a simpler reason.... very big people, very short people, very tall people, huge sets of breasts, azure or pink or green hair, very flashy jewelry and a lot of other things tend to catch my attenction. Whenever something catches my attenction, I look at it. I can't help it, I guess that is istinct. Perhaps some of the stares we get are not bad-meant. They are just curious stares. I'd look at a couple where one partner is very big and one is very skinny myself. Or at a couple of guy friends where one is very tall the other one short. Also, some people could stare because your girlfriend is *beautiful*! Link to post Share on other sites
kizmet74 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 There was a study done recently that said if Marilyn Monroe was still around she would be considered FAT in todays society. Originally posted by faux I see talk of "it is what is on the inside which counts", and that it is good for persons who are overweight to have "pride" in themselves, and to find themselves beautiful. I cannot entirely agree, as I do not believe it is a good attitude for one to feel that he or she is fine, or beautiful, when he or she is unhealthy. It is good to love yourself as a person, but health problems should be addressed rather than ignored. I have to say that I know a lot of overweight people who can outwork (physical labor) and even outrun a lot of skinny people with no ill effects. Just because someone is overweight doesn't mean they're unhealthy. A skinny person can be unhealthy just as easily as an overweight person. I'm not sure what the TRUE statistics show, but I think that a lot of the health "warnings" aimed at overweight people is due to society. Where would the diet drug/program industry be if it wasn't for all the propaganda? Seems like everywhere you look there's another ad for one or the other. I'm not saying that every overweight person is healthy. But you can't label someone by the way they look on the outside. A friend of mine, who is 5'6" and weighs a whopping 125#, is diabetic. I, on the other hand, am 5'3" and weigh 230# and have no health problems. SOCIETY STINKS!!!! I saw another questions something like this one somewhere else. Something about whether or not it's right to date someone who doesn't meet "society's standards"... or something like that. I say, if you love her, who gives a sh*t what anyone else thinks!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tragedi67 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I agree with everyone's feelings here. Love should not be about what the person looks like on the outside. I myself am overweight 5'4" 200lbs and I'm a bit insecure about it and hope my bf won't leave me because I get too big, but yes society has made labels for large people and I hate it! Anyone seen Shallow Hal? It's a great movie with the same theme we're talking about here. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 this is right up my alley. I have dated heavy women all my life; and my wife is heavy. First I must say to all of you "normal" people that are saying "fat people are ok, fat people need love too, people that make fun of fat people are stupid, it's what's inside that counts", you are all full of it. Until you walk a mile in a fat person's shoes or in the shoes of a person in love with a fat person you don't know what it's like. Most overweight people don't want to be overweight; they have a physical problem or emotional problem that makes them heavy, or they have given up and just don't care anymore. People that are different will always be made fun of. It's not right but that's the way it is. Sometimes the fear and pain of being called fat helps certain people "get it together". I am sure most of the people that say it is wrong to make fun of a fat person has done so, or went along with the joke as a friend did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author knight56 Posted July 15, 2004 Author Share Posted July 15, 2004 Well you all have been great in sharing what you all feel about my topic. I thank you very much. I just think large people should not be insecure about it. If your partner loves you, you dont need to change yourself just for the world. There are times where my girlfriend hides her self when taking a bath or changing in front of. I just tell her " please dont hide your self i love you just the way you are" So now she dont hide. Link to post Share on other sites
mronederful Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 "Don't forget that fat people are descriminated against in our society. Ignore their stupidity". tell your family the truth, tell them that the only reason you are dating her is because you LIKE her and if they can't accept her, they can't accept you. family is an over-rated issue, when i find the right girl she will be a big part of my world... the CENTER Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 While society may look down on heavy people, there's also a definite social "fat-pride" movement that thinks it's good for people's self esteem if you tell them that they're beautiful and healthy 'just the way they are'. While beauty is subjective, health is not. It's not healthy to be 400 pounds (provided you're over 8 foot 1). It's not healthy to be that fat. I'm glad that you're able to love her for her heart and not for her body--but if you truly love her heart, you'd be worried about heart attacks, diabetes, and other medical conditions that prey on the obese. Those who say "not all obese people have health problems" are correct, but if you're that fat, you're more at risk than someone who is at a healthy weight. There comes a point when it's not about society placing unfair cosmetic value on weight, it's about your health. Bottom line, a 400 pound person needs to lose weight. You may think telling her that she's fine 'just the way she is' is the sensitive thing to do, but that's destructive. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts