Broken hearted & don't feel like I can go on..

[InAFog]

I've had to do that alot. And it does work. There is a digital picture frame at my house that was filled with us together, along with pictures throughout my life. After i deleted all his pictures it was soooooo helpful to see only the ones from either before we knew each other and i was happy and afterwards. Get out your old pictures before you knew him. Remember the good ol' days.

[Vikki_26]

Trouble is before I met him I was in a boring relationship and before that I was just a child. In my head and I do believe he gave me a life, always said that to him, he brought me to life. I can't see me ever being able to move on from this for ages. I'm so stuck, my mind is obsessed and focused on him only :-(

[Sav]

Trouble is before I met him I was in a boring relationship and before that I was just a child. In my head and I do believe he gave me a life, always said that to him, he brought me to life. I can't see me ever being able to move on from this for ages. I'm so stuck, my mind is obsessed and focused on him only :-(

 

Alright. At least that's a first step. You KNOW you're obsessed with him. Now I'm not going to tell you it's easy to un-obsess yourself but you gotta do it for yourself. Sure, the road ahead is tough and long but life isn't a bed full of roses.

 

Focus on what's at the end of this bumpy road. Good things come to those who wait....and fight for it. Waiting is one part, fighting for your happy life is what that matters. There are so many other guys out there, many much more better looking and richer than him. (I'm not asking you to focus on money but I'm just saying). Stand up! Get up and walk on your own. Men like independent women. One who can fend for herself. Show the other men out that what you are like. Be strong, be tough and soon loads of men will be out there queueing up for you.

 

No one wants someone who can't get over their ex. No one wants a weeping crying girl. Men want women. Grown up women. So it's time to grow up and stand up for your own happiness and your own life:bunny:

[without]

I think he looks abit like my friend who dumped me.

He has OCD too and he's on medication. Although he didn't treat me well I really loved him. If there was a guy I dreamed of it would be him.

And throughout our friendship I felt I have depression. I never saw a doctor but I'm sure I have...

 

I sacrificed many things to be with him, which didn't work and his actions made me depressed.

[Vikki_26]

Thanks Sav, I totally agree with what your saying. My stupid head! What would be your tip if you could or things I should be doing to help get over this obsession? I am going to be starting my counselling soon and will be asking this question, but if I can get a head start I will.

[Vikki_26]

I think he looks abit like my friend who dumped me.

He has OCD too and he's on medication. Although he didn't treat me well I really loved him. If there was a guy I dreamed of it would be him.

And throughout our friendship I felt I have depression. I never saw a doctor but I'm sure I have...

 

I sacrificed many things to be with him, which didn't work and his actions made me depressed.

 

Hmm sounds just like me, id love to hear more from you, as I am starting to think more and more than David is the cause of my depression. His actions and words made me crumble down. My 0 confidence and the other issues I now have! Id like to hear more about your experiences. What type of OCD did your ex have? Mine had pure O? So all in the mind, not hand washing but thoughts of bad stuff happening if he didnt do a certain thing.

[youngnlove89]

Hmm sounds just like me, id love to hear more from you, as I am starting to think more and more than David is the cause of my depression. His actions and words made me crumble down. My 0 confidence and the other issues I now have! Id like to hear more about your experiences. What type of OCD did your ex have? Mine had pure O? So all in the mind, not hand washing but thoughts of bad stuff happening if he didnt do a certain thing.

 

 

Mine had OCD too and he is afraid of commitment, he wants it but gets scared when he has it. Like, he feels like something bad will happen when everything is going well.

 

He texted me, called me, emailed me this weekend. He wants to be with me but still can't commit to me and give me what I want. So it makes me feel used and like a booty call

 

We just have to keep accepting that we were only infatuated with this guys. Because if someone truly wanted to be with us, they would. it's that simple. Right now, my ex does not make me happy. I wanted to be with him but not on his terms. He tells me he doesn't want to f*ck with my feelings but he keeps messing with them! Why does he keep contacting me, why can't he just let me go!?

[Vikki_26]

Mine has let me go, I give him that credit. You were so right about the obsession/infatuation thing. I am like it with all of his family, for about 6yrs now. I NEED to and badly WANT to get over this. I hates him sometimes, how he was. He treated me bad, so bad. Did you reply to his texts? Hope not!

 

Going to write a list of things that I wont miss and that I didnt like about him:p

 

(1) He never worked in the 2 years I knew him (okay I know OCD hasnt helped) But it didnt help us when we needed money to do stuff.

 

(2) First xmas together his didnt even bother to buy my christmas present he got his mum to and I put so much effort in to mine.

 

(3) The way he always blamed me, that it was always my fault when we argued.

 

(4) The fact he spoke to his best female friend the first 6 months we were dating constantly every weekend I went round there, in our time. I once read what he sent her 'I wish I went out with you when you were 16' he wrote that as I sat next to him!! But tried hiding it!

 

(5) Fact it was always about his needs, what he wanted, everything around him. Always what he wanted to do. Fact I paid for everything the first year we were together, untill I stopped then he started paying a bit his way but not much!

 

(6) Fact he NEVER drove to my house (we are 25 miles apart) I always drove over to his house and hanged out in his area.

 

(7) His such a mummys boy!! Whenever we went on holiday he would be talking to his mum to about 11pm at night with her, when I just wanted to cuddle up with him. He always had to ask her before he bought a car or bought something large. She organised all his trips.

 

(8) Yeah he was a good pecking kisser but not a proper snog like my previous ex;) I dont think he ever knew how to french kiss properly and that was my fave! Plus he had small mens bits Not that I am in to that but well just saying;)

 

(9) The fact his been so nasty dumping me every few months, thats horrible to do to a lovely girl like me:p

 

(10) Ill have so much more money as I wont be going over to his all the time, using my fuel. Can go to bed whenever I like. Dont have to put up with his stinking bedroom with rubbish and clothes all over the place. And him getting the umph whenever I went to bed early for work or didnt want to watch the rubbish on TV he wanted!!

 

(11) I can now get my savings back and spend time on myself! He wont ever get a girl as good as me, I did everything to for him. Went everywhere. Took days off work to help him. Spent money on him. Helped him tidy his room, clean his cars, walk his dogs, emotional support. The lot!

 

 

Will add to this later, its kinda making me feel better lol (off for a bath!! lol)

[Sav]

Thanks Sav, I totally agree with what your saying. My stupid head! What would be your tip if you could or things I should be doing to help get over this obsession? I am going to be starting my counselling soon and will be asking this question, but if I can get a head start I will.

 

Well, I won't go as far to say I'm giving you tips but here's what I think.

 

Btw, Counseling is a great start for you. It proves that you want to help yourself and I'm really happy for you .

 

Next on, what I do myself is firstly I get rid of EVERYTHING that reminds me of her, except my bed lol. All the gifts, the cards, the boxes, the sweets, the food, the wine she gave. Everything down the chute, no questions asked. It helps me to feel realize that she is gone from my house and I'm forced to accept this fact everytime I'm at home.

 

Secondly, I try not to be at home. Even after getting rid of everything, I still think about her and such when I'm alone. I go out and have a walk or go window shopping. I bring myself to cafes and read books or listen to music. After awhile if I find my thoughts drifting to my ex, I stand up and go to another new destination. Basically, I'm always on the move if I can help it.

 

Thirdly, I immerse myself in my past hobbies. For example, I enjoy playing basketball and reading before I met her. Once I met her, almost every waking hour was spent with her. I didn't get to read or have any "me time". So what I did was go to my local bookstore and get a book that interests me. Books work for me because it allows me to focus on it and not allow my thoughts to wander off, even if it's only for a fleeting moment.

 

Lastly, I reconnect with my old friends . This is one of the things that helped me un-obsess with my ex. People say Facebook is a killer and Facebook shouldn't be used. Well, I tend to disagree. Of course I had to block my ex on FB first if not I'll spend every moment stalking her. After I blocked her and del everything on FB that reminded me of her, I started reconnecting. FB has a little chat bar on its right which shows us who is available. So I look out for any old friends whom I've not spoken to for awhile and started chatting with them. I've made plans to meet 4 of my old friends already and have been talking to friends I've not seen in 10 years! This allows me to feel that I'm making a new friend all over again and keeps me busy.

 

Oh and I also listen to music. I deleted my old songs because it's my past. I've a whole new set of playlist for myself and they are definitely not sappy love songs! I choose songs with happy beats that keep my adrenaline pumping so whenever I listen to them, my spirits would be lifted .

 

These are just some of the things I found that helped me stop thinking about her all the time. Of course I miss my ex, of course I still think about her. (we have been only broken up for a month or so, I didn't count) But thinking about her ain't gonna do me good. So I go out and find things for myself to do. I hope these might help you in whatever small way it can but most importantly, you gotta find the thing that helps you by keeping yourself busy.

 

Think about what activity keeps you busy and is enjoyable (BUT WITHOUT HIM). I choose to take up reading again. What's yours?

[youngnlove89]

This is awesome progress Vikki! I am very glad you compiled a list of negatives. It helps you see things for what they truly are! Sometimes when we are heartbroken, we tend to remember the good and let the bad fall to the wayside.

 

Now everytime you miss him, re-read this list!

 

There are some pretty good ones on there, sounds like he was a user.

 

One day when you are over him, you will look back at this and laugh. and wonder why you wasted your heart on someone like this.

[Vikki_26]

Well, I won't go as far to say I'm giving you tips but here's what I think.

 

Btw, Counseling is a great start for you. It proves that you want to help yourself and I'm really happy for you .

 

Next on, what I do myself is firstly I get rid of EVERYTHING that reminds me of her, except my bed lol. All the gifts, the cards, the boxes, the sweets, the food, the wine she gave. Everything down the chute, no questions asked. It helps me to feel realize that she is gone from my house and I'm forced to accept this fact everytime I'm at home.

 

Secondly, I try not to be at home. Even after getting rid of everything, I still think about her and such when I'm alone. I go out and have a walk or go window shopping. I bring myself to cafes and read books or listen to music. After awhile if I find my thoughts drifting to my ex, I stand up and go to another new destination. Basically, I'm always on the move if I can help it.

 

Thirdly, I immerse myself in my past hobbies. For example, I enjoy playing basketball and reading before I met her. Once I met her, almost every waking hour was spent with her. I didn't get to read or have any "me time". So what I did was go to my local bookstore and get a book that interests me. Books work for me because it allows me to focus on it and not allow my thoughts to wander off, even if it's only for a fleeting moment.

 

Lastly, I reconnect with my old friends . This is one of the things that helped me un-obsess with my ex. People say Facebook is a killer and Facebook shouldn't be used. Well, I tend to disagree. Of course I had to block my ex on FB first if not I'll spend every moment stalking her. After I blocked her and del everything on FB that reminded me of her, I started reconnecting. FB has a little chat bar on its right which shows us who is available. So I look out for any old friends whom I've not spoken to for awhile and started chatting with them. I've made plans to meet 4 of my old friends already and have been talking to friends I've not seen in 10 years! This allows me to feel that I'm making a new friend all over again and keeps me busy.

 

Oh and I also listen to music. I deleted my old songs because it's my past. I've a whole new set of playlist for myself and they are definitely not sappy love songs! I choose songs with happy beats that keep my adrenaline pumping so whenever I listen to them, my spirits would be lifted .

 

These are just some of the things I found that helped me stop thinking about her all the time. Of course I miss my ex, of course I still think about her. (we have been only broken up for a month or so, I didn't count) But thinking about her ain't gonna do me good. So I go out and find things for myself to do. I hope these might help you in whatever small way it can but most importantly, you gotta find the thing that helps you by keeping yourself busy.

 

Think about what activity keeps you busy and is enjoyable (BUT WITHOUT HIM). I choose to take up reading again. What's yours?

 

 

Thanks for your reply I really appreciate it. I am going to get back in to cleaning my MINI Cooper S I think. I used to clean my car for hours as I used to take it to shows. It used to be so clean and shiny. I now have a new one which I want to get in to that condition. I stopped that since knowing David and I used to really enjoy cleaning my car for hours on a Sunday. Posting pictures and preparing it for shows.

 

I am slowly getting back in to fashion too and experimenting with make up and buying more stuff for myself. I used to love trying out new products and making myself look even better. Going to start getting fitter and slimmer too, as that helps with my confidence. As I have gained about 21 pounds since being with David, it was more but lost 11 pounds in last few weeks. Also Going to post on here to keep busy.

 

I agree with Facebook, I had three male friends chatting to me all night the other night. Was quite nice to chat to other people as I never did when I was going out with David. Didnt even spend much time with family. Got quite a few guys after me at the moment but I want to discover myself and dont want the hassle of men for awhile. Plus none I fancy. Now if Jack from the Titanic came along id happily take him now though!! haha

 

I will make sure I listen to upbeat tunes more, and not the slow ones that seem to keep propping up on my iphone. I really like Katy Perry, just need to skip past the slow ones! I quite like her 'wide awake' one as thats how I want to be! Punching that supposedly prince charming and saying I need nothing to complete myself!

 

I have hidden my engagement ring and taken off my pandora charm that said 'forever together' on it and hidden the pictures I had in my bedroom. It was awful a few weeks ago, I took out a top and it smelt just like him! arghh! Flung that in the wash!

 

I have a few albums of photos in my bottom bed draw that I cant face to bin. I just wont look at them as they were from holidays together and when we drove to the Arctic Circle for charity. But I have removed all ones of him from facebook.

[Vikki_26]

This is awesome progress Vikki! I am very glad you compiled a list of negatives. It helps you see things for what they truly are! Sometimes when we are heartbroken, we tend to remember the good and let the bad fall to the wayside.

 

Now everytime you miss him, re-read this list!

 

There are some pretty good ones on there, sounds like he was a user.

 

One day when you are over him, you will look back at this and laugh. and wonder why you wasted your heart on someone like this.

 

Thanks, the annoying thing is I have waves of being so strong and not caring about him anymore. Then I dunno what happens, cant pin point why but I then go back to square one. I think its because I start to think of what his up to, where his going, that I will miss going on holiday with him next year and his having this great time going places. But you know what these last two days I have done stuff with my mum and wouldnt have wanted to be anywhere else

 

Yeah I know, well pretty sure that one day I will think thank god it happened and why didnt I ran as fast as I could before when people said to?

 

His always going to have issues, I woudnt want my children picking up on them. His a selfish person a lot of the time.

 

I cant wait to feel free. Get back to being that fun fearless sexy female I once was, even with my first bf. I had so much confidence in the way I looked and felt so happy. I had a few thousand in savings, slim, wore nice clothes, had a cracking personality, outgoing bubbly, enjoyed meeting new people. Loved my car and stuff. Yeah I didnt go on holiday ever few months but I was still happy! I never had the lows of falling out with David and sleeping in my MINI Cooper one night! Yes thats right! He hardly made much effort to get me to come back in to the house with him. Instead I slept in the car in a lay-by.

[youngnlove89]

This was an article another LS user gave to me, it really helped me out and I think it will help you out too:

 

"...In many cases, people ask me whether they should transform pleasant acquaintances into lasting relationships. Others ask me how to overcome consumptive attachments they develop to people, then the terrible disappointment that flows when their love interests do not reciprocate their devotion.

 

These are related situations. They arise frequently. When a person tries to force a relationship onto another level, a power struggle ensues. One person wants something the other might not. This leads to a disparity in desire, as well as wishful thinking and blind faith that the other person is acting in accordance with your fantasies. In short, it is emotionally dangerous. When you start expecting another person to act the way you imagine they will, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak or worse.

 

I did this in my first love. I became very close friends with someone when I was just a teenager. I loved our time together. We had a very special friendship and I felt respected whenever we met. Eventually, my feelings grew stronger. I wanted a romantic relationship. I started believing that he did, too. He really didn't. I wanted him to love me the same way I loved him. I turned it over in my mind all the time; it kept me up at night. I wanted to talk to him all the time, but I didn't want it to seem that I was the only one making the phone calls. So I would wait around for days at a time wishing that he would call me; and of course he didn't. When he finally did call, my heart would race and I would stumble on my words. I felt that I was speaking to my savior; he had all the power over me. It was just pathetic. I was slavishly dedicated to him even though he never gave me the reciprocation I craved.

 

It took me several years to break my attachment to this person. I wasted so much psychic energy on an illusion. I will never do it again.

 

Now I see clearly what I did wrong. I created a whole mental patchwork of fantasies about my friend. Those fantasies overwhelmed my mind. I expected my friend to act in accordance with them. It was unrealistic, of course, but when you're craving a person's love, you do not think reasonably. My mistake was this: I fell in love with a subjective fantasy image, not a real person. And when the real person did not act according to the fantasy script in my mind, I felt crushed. I expected too much; and I learned that people are basically inscrutable: They rarely act the way you really want them to.

 

My youthful attachment to my friend was unhealthy for another reason: It led me into slavishness. I hung on his every word. I followed his every action with total devotion. I delivered my fate into his hands. Whatever he did, I followed. I gave him all the power because I wanted him to give me what I wanted. I wanted him to love me so much that I sacrificed my own dignity and spirit to win his affections. I stumbled on my words when I was around him because he was my mental master. I wanted too much. That made me slavish.

 

I did not break my attachment to this person until I stopped wanting what he had to offer. And that is the lesson: If you have an unhealthy attachment to a person and they are not showing you the love you want, you must convince yourself that they have nothing you want. Once you do that, you will stop obsessing about them. You will regain your peace of mind and dignity. You will reorder your desires and think clearly again. True, it is hard to do. But you will thank yourself if you can pull it off.

 

Let us try to understand how this works. We develop unhealthy attachments to people when we WANT something they have. "Want" is the most important word in our mental lives. It expresses our truest desires. It honestly discloses who we are. No one controls what we want; our personality dictates it. We are never so happy as when we get what we want because it satisfies our deepest, most personal yearnings.

 

Problems arise when we want something that only another person can give. In this case, we cannot easily address our wants because we cannot directly slake them. And because the other person has what we want, we make concessions in order to entice him to give us what we crave. We indulge him far more than we should. We bow, scrape, flatter and stumble on our words. We make our love interest our master; he has power over us because he has the discretion whether to grant us what we want. That is unhealthy. It leads us into despair because we willingly enslave ourselves to his will. Disappointment and frustration become our dominant emotions. We never get what we want. And we are crestfallen every time our love interest does not act the way we expect--which is much more often than we'd like.

 

But there is a way to overcome this cycle. To break the attachment, you must engage your reason. You must take control over your own desire again. You must convince yourself that the other person has nothing you want. If you can do that, the other person loses his authority over you. He becomes indifferent to you. You get to say what you want, not him. You can pursue your own desire again without a fickle middleman. That is freedom in the purest sense.

 

I know it is difficult to do this when you are caught in an unhealthy attachment. It is hard to engage your reason when you are contorted with unrequited desire. But it is worth the effort. It helps to have a distraction that breaks your incessant attention to your love interest. In my case, I met someone else who took my mind off my obsession. It helped me turn my mind away from its destructive focus on unattainable affection. Within a few weeks, I felt free again. It was wonderful.

 

If you ever find yourself with an unhealthy attachment to another person, think about why you feel the way you do: You want what the other person has. You put your happiness in his hands. You heap unrealistic expectations on the other person and you disappoint yourself every time he acts some other way. You give him total power over the way you feel. Conceptually, it is easy to understand. To break the attachment, you must simply stop wanting what he has to offer. Once you control your own wants again, no one will ever tyrannize you with frustration and disappointment. And life feels much better when you're not frustrated."

[Vikki_26]

Thanks for that, I tried asking my mum and sister for help and advice but they just don't get it. I wish I could get him down from that pedestal in my mind. As I say he travels all the time on adventures trips. I guess there is nothing stopping me coming up with my own ones and going on them. Argh wish he just wasnt so special in my mind! To me its like as if I won the lottery with getting with him and today have lost it!

Edited August 28, 2012 by Vikki_26

[youngnlove89]

Thanks for that, I tried asking my mum and sister for help and advice but they just don't get it. I wish I could get him down from that pedestal in my mind. As I say he travels all the time on adventures trips. I guess there is nothing stopping me coming up with my own ones and going on them. Argh wish he just wasnt so special in my mind! To me its like as if I won the lottery with getting with him and today have lost it!

 

 

All it takes is time. And everyone's time is different. It might take you awhile, but just remember that however long it takes you is your own choice. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.

 

So when you make the choice that you have had enough heartbreak and you realize that he is gone, you will find yourself moving on.

 

Mind over matter. If he is dumb enough to walk away, you have to be smart enough to let him go.

[weallfalldown]

This was an article another LS user gave to me, it really helped me out and I think it will help you out too:

 

"...In many cases, people ask me whether they should transform pleasant acquaintances into lasting relationships. Others ask me how to overcome consumptive attachments they develop to people, then the terrible disappointment that flows when their love interests do not reciprocate their devotion.

 

These are related situations. They arise frequently. When a person tries to force a relationship onto another level, a power struggle ensues. One person wants something the other might not. This leads to a disparity in desire, as well as wishful thinking and blind faith that the other person is acting in accordance with your fantasies. In short, it is emotionally dangerous. When you start expecting another person to act the way you imagine they will, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak or worse.

 

I did this in my first love. I became very close friends with someone when I was just a teenager. I loved our time together. We had a very special friendship and I felt respected whenever we met. Eventually, my feelings grew stronger. I wanted a romantic relationship. I started believing that he did, too. He really didn't. I wanted him to love me the same way I loved him. I turned it over in my mind all the time; it kept me up at night. I wanted to talk to him all the time, but I didn't want it to seem that I was the only one making the phone calls. So I would wait around for days at a time wishing that he would call me; and of course he didn't. When he finally did call, my heart would race and I would stumble on my words. I felt that I was speaking to my savior; he had all the power over me. It was just pathetic. I was slavishly dedicated to him even though he never gave me the reciprocation I craved.

 

It took me several years to break my attachment to this person. I wasted so much psychic energy on an illusion. I will never do it again.

 

Now I see clearly what I did wrong. I created a whole mental patchwork of fantasies about my friend. Those fantasies overwhelmed my mind. I expected my friend to act in accordance with them. It was unrealistic, of course, but when you're craving a person's love, you do not think reasonably. My mistake was this: I fell in love with a subjective fantasy image, not a real person. And when the real person did not act according to the fantasy script in my mind, I felt crushed. I expected too much; and I learned that people are basically inscrutable: They rarely act the way you really want them to.

 

My youthful attachment to my friend was unhealthy for another reason: It led me into slavishness. I hung on his every word. I followed his every action with total devotion. I delivered my fate into his hands. Whatever he did, I followed. I gave him all the power because I wanted him to give me what I wanted. I wanted him to love me so much that I sacrificed my own dignity and spirit to win his affections. I stumbled on my words when I was around him because he was my mental master. I wanted too much. That made me slavish.

 

I did not break my attachment to this person until I stopped wanting what he had to offer. And that is the lesson: If you have an unhealthy attachment to a person and they are not showing you the love you want, you must convince yourself that they have nothing you want. Once you do that, you will stop obsessing about them. You will regain your peace of mind and dignity. You will reorder your desires and think clearly again. True, it is hard to do. But you will thank yourself if you can pull it off.

 

Let us try to understand how this works. We develop unhealthy attachments to people when we WANT something they have. "Want" is the most important word in our mental lives. It expresses our truest desires. It honestly discloses who we are. No one controls what we want; our personality dictates it. We are never so happy as when we get what we want because it satisfies our deepest, most personal yearnings.

 

Problems arise when we want something that only another person can give. In this case, we cannot easily address our wants because we cannot directly slake them. And because the other person has what we want, we make concessions in order to entice him to give us what we crave. We indulge him far more than we should. We bow, scrape, flatter and stumble on our words. We make our love interest our master; he has power over us because he has the discretion whether to grant us what we want. That is unhealthy. It leads us into despair because we willingly enslave ourselves to his will. Disappointment and frustration become our dominant emotions. We never get what we want. And we are crestfallen every time our love interest does not act the way we expect--which is much more often than we'd like.

 

But there is a way to overcome this cycle. To break the attachment, you must engage your reason. You must take control over your own desire again. You must convince yourself that the other person has nothing you want. If you can do that, the other person loses his authority over you. He becomes indifferent to you. You get to say what you want, not him. You can pursue your own desire again without a fickle middleman. That is freedom in the purest sense.

 

I know it is difficult to do this when you are caught in an unhealthy attachment. It is hard to engage your reason when you are contorted with unrequited desire. But it is worth the effort. It helps to have a distraction that breaks your incessant attention to your love interest. In my case, I met someone else who took my mind off my obsession. It helped me turn my mind away from its destructive focus on unattainable affection. Within a few weeks, I felt free again. It was wonderful.

 

If you ever find yourself with an unhealthy attachment to another person, think about why you feel the way you do: You want what the other person has. You put your happiness in his hands. You heap unrealistic expectations on the other person and you disappoint yourself every time he acts some other way. You give him total power over the way you feel. Conceptually, it is easy to understand. To break the attachment, you must simply stop wanting what he has to offer. Once you control your own wants again, no one will ever tyrannize you with frustration and disappointment. And life feels much better when you're not frustrated."

 

you love to copy and paste, so after all this wonderfull advice.......

where does it leave you?

[youngnlove89]

you love to copy and paste, so after all this wonderfull advice.......

where does it leave you?

 

 

It leaves me realizing things I didn't realize either. Helping others helps me figure myself out too.

[weallfalldown]

Tell me everything will be hunky dorey then.....

[Vikki_26]

Thanks younglove89. I am slowly moving on I can feel it. I have cleaned my car today for a few hours, felt really good to work on it again. Made me think strongly too about things whist listening to upbeat music. I wont let me bring me down, I will get over this and find someone much better in time. For the time being I am going to enjoy being me and my life without him making me feel bad all the time when together with arguing!

[youngnlove89]

Tell me everything will be hunky dorey then.....

 

What's up with you today? Are you being a barbaric butt?

[weallfalldown]

banter my dear.......take that, stick out of your arse.....

[youngnlove89]

banter my dear.......take that, stick out of your arse.....

 

 

Don't start with me. I don't have anything up my "arse" but if you think that is banter, then you sir have it all wrong!

[weallfalldown]

................................

[Vikki_26]

Feeling strong the last day or so. I am not thinking about him no way as much and when I do I am not hurt! I quickly make myself think of a bad situation between us or something I didnt like if I find myself thinking of good times with him.

 

I am creating a busy life for myself. Booking up lots of things to do and places to go. I am really looking forward to the things I have planned.

 

I booked a holiday away to Spain, just bought some Olympic tickets, going to a few car shows. So excited. I am determined to make myself a fantastic life without him. I dont need this poor excuse for a man! Going to have so much fun being single. I bet I think dam why didnt I ever be single 10 years ago? I already feel sexy and free! And my aura seems to be attracting people! lol last night I was wolf whistled!! haha havent had that in years! I am still going to go on holiday and travel all over europe in my car! I can do anything, I dont need him! Yay! whoohooo! lol

 

p.s not that I was counting but I realised it was a month today that we split, and wow in a month I already feel sooo much better to what I did! We can do it peeps!!

[Brokendude]

Vikki keep this up!!! U can do this. U may regress once in a while but dont feel discouraged. Were proud if u and as long as u keep the right mindset were always here for u!! We all wanna see u well