Woggle Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 I think in order to show an act of trust towards her and to show to myself I really am serious about getting over my issues with women I will put the house in both of our names. The house is still on my name because I bought with my ex and the judge gave it to me during the divorce and it is still in my name. I admit I planned on keeping it that way so if she does turn on me I can easily get her out but I need to take this leap of faith. I also want her to feel that is our house instead of a place I let my wife live. Is this a good idea. 17 Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 What's the worst that can happen? Oh that's right you've already experienced that. I'm not saying its good or bad, I'm just saying you already know the downside, so you have all the information you need to know if it was a good or bad idea. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
redtail Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 I also want her to feel that is our house instead of a place I let my wife live. Is this a good idea. Yes, trust is a good thing even if you were burned before. I too had a similar situation where I bought out my cheating (ex)wife when we got divorced so the house was in my name only. Shortly after getting remarried, I added my 2nd wife's name to the house. For the same reason, this was our house and wanted her to feel it was hers as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 No, no it isn't. Why isn't it ? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 House in his name = asset she can't take in case of a divorce. House in both of their names = asset she can take in the event of a divorce. That's idiotic... It's a marital home.. hers too. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Is mortgage debt attached to the house? In what name (s) is the mortgage. How much existing equity value do you have? This transaction of trust you speak of is more complicated than you think. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Not if it was his property before they got married. Would you want to live married to a woman in a house that didn't have your name on it ? didn't think so... It's more about doing what's right for your wife than about the exit strategy. I put my wife on both of our homes after we got married... I wanted her to feel that the homes were hers too, instead of mine, mine, mine and all mine...... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 That doesn't make it a good idea, which is what the OP asked. Actually.. it does... It depends on your perspective of whether you are in a marriage as a team or just buying your time. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Given the high likelyhood of a divorce it doesn't. So mine, mine, mine and all mine is a better perspective.. You never answered my question if you would live in a house owned only by your wife ? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 IMO, there is only one way to have a really great marriage: both parties all in. It is a risk, yes. Life is full of risks, and marriage is no different. Only you can decide if the benefits are worth the risks. For me and my marriage, the answer would be yes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Bad idea. If it is your property, it's yours. You choosing to protect yourself doesn't make your relationship void. It is your house but because it is that doesn't mean that it can't be a home. If you have or plan on having children then draw up a will as to what percentage you want the kids to have. If in time as the years (10+) go by then entertain the idea. If she invests money into the home (meaning structural) then consider it. Choosing to protect yourself doesn't mean you love the person less. Always protect your assets. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Does your wife know about this? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 is it a good idea? For some, maybe, others, maybe not. In your particular instance, I'm thinking it's a huge show of faith in your marriage and possibly a means of healing the past. In general, I'd say yeah, it's a good idea because if you predecease your wife, she's not kicked out to the street because the house is tied up in estate. Even if she can afford a place of her own or has family to go to, it's a mental reassurance that you're taking care of her even after you're gone. it may not be much, but the things that my own husband has set into motion that if he *does* die before me, tells me that he loves me so much that he's taken care of this. Kinda like those mornings when your car's iced over and you're running late for work and are tripping out because of it, and then you go to the car to find that he's not only cleared the windshield, but has warmed it up for you because it's important to him to be able to do that for you. those are the little things that build a marriage into something incredibly strong, because you're putting the other person's needs first. Putting your wife's name on the deed means not only do you trust her, but you are taking care of her, too. And to us gals, that's priceless :love: 8 Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 is it a good idea? For some, maybe, others, maybe not. In your particular instance, I'm thinking it's a huge show of faith in your marriage and possibly a means of healing the past. ... those are the little things that build a marriage into something incredibly strong, because you're putting the other person's needs first. Putting your wife's name on the deed means not only do you trust her, but you are taking care of her, too. What quank said...for you, I think it's a great idea. And please - and I mean this sincerely - do not hold this leap of faith against your wife, or use it as a way of testing her. She's already demonstrated that she loves you; hopefully, you will continue to see this gesture on your part as a simple, open demonstration of your love and trust, not part of a chess game where you proffer a pawn to see what she'll do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 13, 2012 Author Share Posted August 13, 2012 I am not looking to hold this against but to prove to myself that I really do want to put my money where my mouth is as far as leaving the past behind is concerned. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I saw the title of this thread and that it was posted by you, and I smiled. Good for you, Wog. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I think you will end up being freed by it. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I think you will end up being freed by it. ...or homeless. Nah j/k! Sweet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Yeah, I thought that too. But , it's a huge show of trust to his wife and even more important maybe...for Woggle, it isnt a show of trust..it IS trust. Its freeing, to take that risk...to put it out there. It's a place I'm trying to get. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 For arguments sake if worst came to worst I can still call the lawyer I had when my first marriage went under but I truly do not expect that to happen. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Woggle... you have been married 6 years ??? You seem more in love with her today than when you first got married.. I wouldn't worry about calling the first lawyer you had just yet.. It seems to me that you guys have a good marriage and one that will last... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 We are married six years. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I am not looking to hold this against but to prove to myself that I really do want to put my money where my mouth is as far as leaving the past behind is concerned. So, you both won the Gender War then? By declaring a perpetual unspoken truce. As far as your territories are concerned anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 So, you both won the Gender War then? By declaring a perpetual unspoken truce. As far as your territories are concerned anyway. The gender is for losers and morons of both sexes and I try not to let myself get pulled but that is easier said than done. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Would you want to live married to a woman in a house that didn't have your name on it ? didn't think so... It's more about doing what's right for your wife than about the exit strategy. I put my wife on both of our homes after we got married... I wanted her to feel that the homes were hers too, instead of mine, mine, mine and all mine...... Did you also give her a living trust, and that your children would have to outlive her in order to enjoy an inheritance? Link to post Share on other sites
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