UpwardForward Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) Bad idea. If it is your property, it's yours. You choosing to protect yourself doesn't make your relationship void. It is your house but because it is that doesn't mean that it can't be a home. If you have or plan on having children then draw up a will as to what percentage you want the kids to have. If in time as the years (10+) go by then entertain the idea. If she invests money into the home (meaning structural) then consider it. Choosing to protect yourself doesn't mean you love the person less. Always protect your assets. It's hush money. To keep her hushed, and away from pouting, brooding, whining, whailing, crying, pleading, bitching .. .. .... .... .. ...... ... ... .. Edited August 14, 2012 by UpwardForward Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Did you also give her a living trust, and that your children would have to outlive her in order to enjoy an inheritance? My will or our wills are really off topic for this thread 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 My will or our wills are really off topic for this thread No! I'm against these second (and on) marriages - where shortly thereafter they go to get their "wiiilllls done" This is merely a tool for money's and advantages to be shifted over to the new model, while (down the road) depriving the rightful heirs. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 No! I'm against these second (and on) marriages - where shortly thereafter they go to get their "wiiilllls done" This is merely a tool for money's and advantages to be shifted over to the new model, while (down the road) depriving the rightful heirs. I've had a will in place since I was 18 years old, constantly being either changed or re-created depending on where I'm at in life... My estate planning is off topic for this thread. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I've had a will in place since I was 18 years old, constantly being either changed or re-created depending on where I'm at in life... My estate planning is off topic for this thread. I can read between the lines. Take care of your biological children. And not in ignorement or leftovers (if any). (This is for All men.) Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I can read between the lines. Take care of your biological children. And not in ignorement or leftovers (if any). (This is for All men.) WTF is that supposed to mean ? are you saying that I haven't provided for my child because I refuse to discuss my estate planning ? Believe me when I say that you have no way to properly read between the lines . I will not discuss my estate planning in detail. I have used an estate planner and financial consultant my whole adult life and put my TRUST in them rather that some online persona. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 WTF is that supposed to mean ? are you saying that I haven't provided for my child because I refuse to discuss my estate planning ? Believe me when I say that you have no way to properly read between the lines . I will not discuss my estate planning in detail. I have used an estate planner and financial consultant my whole adult life and put my TRUST in them rather that some online persona. .... how's the blood pressure. I'm saying that men who get into second (and on) marriages should consider their biological children (and not w residuals) in their decisions to appease these women. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 .... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Do it. What's a house really worth compared to a trusting relationship with a great woman? I'd say $120k at the very most. And that's in a good neighborhood, not some dump in New Jersey. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 It's safer if I keep my fingers still for this thread... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 Do it. What's a house really worth compared to a trusting relationship with a great woman? I'd say $120k at the very most. And that's in a good neighborhood, not some dump in New Jersey. It seems you haven't spent much time in NJ. The only reason I got this house cheap was because it was a tax seizure property. Homes in NJ especially at the Shore can be very expensive. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Start another thread dealing with men, remarriage, wills and your ability to read minds..... Did you also give her a living trust, and that your children would have to outlive her in order to enjoy an inheritance? It's hush money. To keep her hushed, and away from pouting, brooding, whining, whailing, crying, pleading, bitching .. .. .... .... .. ...... ... ... .. No! I'm against these second (and on) marriages - where shortly thereafter they go to get their "wiiilllls done" This is merely a tool for money's and advantages to be shifted over to the new model, while (down the road) depriving the rightful heirs. I can read between the lines. Take care of your biological children. And not in ignorement or leftovers (if any). (This is for All men.) .... how's the blood pressure. I'm saying that men who get into second (and on) marriages should consider their biological children (and not w residuals) in their decisions to appease these women. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 It's safer if I keep my fingers still for this thread... It's so hard to resist TBF.... Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I am not looking to hold this against but to prove to myself that I really do want to put my money where my mouth is as far as leaving the past behind is concerned. I have a issue with the way you phrased the bolded. Um.... if you are sure that your emotions and feelings are genuine than there is nothing to prove. Do you need to have something that is concrete/tangible for you to believe in it? Explain if you will why you need to prove it to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Start another thread dealing with men, remarriage, wills and your ability to read minds..... Wouldn't it just be better to offer up your opinion on the subject, rather than the above. Actually my post was related. Offering up real estate to a new M partner, many times can be a first step in even disinheriting/overlooking one's existing offspring. Situations can vary according to the demands of a spouse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Wouldn't it just be better to offer up your opinion on the subject, rather than the above. Actually my post was related. Offering up real estate to a new M partner, many times can be a first step in even disinheriting/overlooking one's existing offspring. Situations can vary according to the demands of a spouse. So you're assuming that Art has a child from a first marriage and is shamefully neglecting them for a hot new thing? Funny thing about assumptions... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 It's so hard to resist TBF....You're just looking for entertainment, young lady. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Does your wife know about this? I was thinking the same thing. I think it would be a good thing to discuss it thoroughly with your W before you do anything "legal" with the paperwork. (I have no idea if her signature is required to put her name on the mortgage?) It's great that you want to prove you're over the Gender Wars, but this is your/her life & marriage we're talking about here. You're a team. What benefits (or hurts) you, also benefits (or hurts) her. She may bring up some good points you hadn't thought about, like the tax implications, future real estate bought together, etc. In any event, her (and your) opinions about this are the only ones that really count anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) So you're assuming that Art has a child from a first marriage and is shamefully neglecting them for a hot new thing? Funny thing about assumptions... I have to admit that I find this little side drama UF created kind of hilarious, although I know it's misguided and a big ole threadjack. (Sorry, Woggle. And also Art. ) Edited August 14, 2012 by serial muse 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I am not looking to hold this against but to prove to myself that I really do want to put my money where my mouth is as far as leaving the past behind is concerned. Wog - this is such GREAT progress for YOU! You are beginning to TRUST - and have faith that things CAN be good for you! I vote yes! I'm proud of you for moving FORWARD!!! Yay!!!!! Letting go of what we know DOESN'T workforce us (not trusting) is part of beginning to trust! Without,eating go of that old thought - you'd never get there ( to trusting)! I think you have enough EVIDENCE of trusting the gal you married. No reason toehold onto your dark past. Best to step into the LIGHT! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 Of course I will discuss it with her first. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I think in order to show an act of trust towards her and to show to myself I really am serious about getting over my issues with women I will put the house in both of our names. The house is still on my name because I bought with my ex and the judge gave it to me during the divorce and it is still in my name. I admit I planned on keeping it that way so if she does turn on me I can easily get her out but I need to take this leap of faith. I also want her to feel that is our house instead of a place I let my wife live. Is this a good idea. Depending on it's value, i would not have that much trust. How long you've been married also counts. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Wouldn't it just be better to offer up your opinion on the subject, rather than the above. In the kitchen of life, you make such a lovely pot. Actually my post was related. Offering up real estate to a new M partner, many times can be a first step in even disinheriting/overlooking one's existing offspring. Situations can vary according to the demands of a spouse. Okay, I'll bite: "Yeah Woggle, about your WILL (even though this thread is about trust and a house) don't just leave it all to your wife without protecting all of those non-existant children from you first marriage, first and foremost. And somehow Art is mixed up with this too. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Good luck talking it over with the W, Woggle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Depending on it's value, i would not have that much trust. How long you've been married also counts. So trust depends on a dollar amount? Noooope! Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 So trust depends on a dollar amount? Noooope! Yes and no. Money unfortunately translates into power for many ppl, and i would be uncomfortable relinquishing a certain ammount of it. I would be uncomfortable abusing it, but i also wouldn't like to relinquish it. Link to post Share on other sites
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