I put my wife's name on the house

[whichwayisup]

Very true plus we pay no mortgage and no rent. We pay utilities and property taxes which are high in NJ but still than paying rent and mortgage.

 

All the more reason to keep the house and live in it.

[whichwayisup]

She found out my wife and I got engaged and she flipped.

 

Also the thread title is misleading because I will discuss it with her first before I do anything.

 

Just tell her it's important to you that her name is to be on the ownership. I mean, what if something happened to you and your mom tried to take the house away from you wife? Not that it would happen as your wife would get the house reguardless as she is married to you.. But, you should also put in your Will that if anything does happen to you, your mom doesn't get anything.

[Art_Critic]

By the way Woggle... thumbs up man

[Emme]

You make no sense whatsoever..

First you say to borrow against it.. well.. when you do that it and buy a new home the old home then becomes marital property.. duh...

Then you say to buy a new home.. again.. marital property... it's called co-mingling assets

 

Now you say to sell it and buy a new one.. all money becomes marital property from that sale and then the new house.. marital property...

 

I get you are saying to protect assets..even at the cost of being unfair since we are talking about the marital home and not some income property.. but the advice you are giving isn't protecting anything..

 

Wouldn't it just be easier to put her name on the house

 

I gave suggestions. If he wants to borrow against that property he can, for all I know he might have his savings and not need to. He can sell his property and then go half on a new property with her. I'm not aware that if he sells his property that her name will be on the check. Easier doesn't mean safer. In the end it's trying to protect what this man (and/or ex wife) might have worked most of their life. I've seen when women take the house, move in their new man and never remarry again for alimony. It's cold. Paying for another man to live good. There is no being "unfair" ... what's unfair is women who continually gain what they didn't work for. If it's a home built together, then you are entitled. That's always been my opinion. There is no lottery here, if there is, it's going to be taken by someone who just came to visit his life for 6 years.

[Emme]

.. But, you should also put in your Will that if anything does happen to you, your mom doesn't get anything.

 

Why shouldn't he care for his mother in the event he passes. Why not make a percentage of that property to care for her in her old age not a option? Was he thrown in a garbage can at birth.

[dreamingoftigers]

Just tell her it's important to you that her name is to be on the ownership. I mean, what if something happened to you and your mom tried to take the house away from you wife? Not that it would happen as your wife would get the house reguardless as she is married to you.. But, you should also put in your Will that if anything does happen to you, your mom doesn't get anything.

 

"Would somebody please think of the children!?"

[dreamingoftigers]

Why shouldn't he care for his mother in the event he passes. Why not make a percentage of that property to care for her in her old age not a option? Was he thrown in a garbage can at birth.

 

Um, he might've preferred that if someone else - just about anyone else - picked him up.

[Radu]

Wonderful no kids. Perfect.

 

Now this whole gender stuff. Um... I don't get it. I get what your saying in a sense but it still means nothing, in my eyes. If you want to show her that she is an equal, what you do is purchase a home together. Figure out financially what you can borrow out of the home. Ask her if she's interested in buying another property together. Then you are financially and equally tied. Is that an option for her? Does she have the funds?

 

I don't know your age which would also help. Depending on where you are in life would narrow down the decision making. I would love to tell you go for it but I can't do that and I am a woman. Always protect your assets because you never know what tomorrow brings.

 

I have a friend right now that owns properties with his mother. Half and half. He was with his wife for 12 years, she cheated, moved out with their child into her new mans house. I know she wants to get her hands on those properties but she hasn't made a move yet and it's been years. No divorce. Regardless she did not put one penny in those properties but she will get her cut. That's what happens when you don't protect your interest.

 

Picture yourself living in your car if this relationship doesn't work out. That is where you will be. As a matter a fact, if you want to make a good first step buy her a car. That's what you do. If you can afford it. Lets see if she lets you drive it.

 

 

For the bolded part.

The woman has no interest in getting her cut now.

She is still married to him, the bankroll is growing, and meanwhile any maintenance that needs to be done to the properties is done by him and his mom.

If she refuses to do maintenance, you can keep that and the receipts to show who paid, to get a bigger chunk of the pie and her getting a smaller one.

 

But he needs to establish that the relationship is over when it was over, or else her slice will grow and grow.

 

Woggle, why not give her a piece of house proportionate with the pool investment and other repairs she made.

It will be less but she will still be an owner.

[Emme]

Um, he might've preferred that if someone else - just about anyone else - picked him up.

 

Regardless if someone has bad relationship with a parent... Even if he dislikes her or she was cruel. If she didn't throw him away, be grateful she did whatever "duties" she could.

[Emme]

For the bolded part.

The woman has no interest in getting her cut now.

She is still married to him, the bankroll is growing, and meanwhile any maintenance that needs to be done to the properties is done by him and his mom.

If she refuses to do maintenance, you can keep that and the receipts to show who paid, to get a bigger chunk of the pie and her getting a smaller one.

 

But he needs to establish that the relationship is over when it was over, or else her slice will grow and grow.

 

Woggle, why not give her a piece of house proportionate with the pool investment and other repairs she made.

It will be less but she will still be an owner.

 

 

He told me something about what his attorney told him. Don't rock the boat. She's a vindictive woman. I tell him all the time divorce her. He said he won't do it. If she wants to she's going to have to do it. But in the end there is a kid involved and he made up his will if something happens to him that his portion goes straight to his daughter. Will that help, I don't know legally if it can. His situation is bad one. No legal separation, nothing. Lets just say when he cut off her medical benefits... I didn't need to see a comedy show for 6 months. It did not go well.

[Radu]

Well, if he dies, then his beneficiary is also his wife, as i suspect she has primary custody.

 

Sounds like he's a bit whipped tbh, it's stuff like this that makes me say 'thanks' for prenups.

[beach]

Regardless if someone has bad relationship with a parent... Even if he dislikes her or she was cruel. If she didn't throw him away, be grateful she did whatever "duties" she could.

 

His Mother hasn't been kind and loving to Wog - she supported and kept in contact with Woggles druggy ex wife... Even after his ex got out of jail.

[Emme]

it's stuff like this that makes me say 'thanks' for prenups.

 

Amen to that!

[whichwayisup]

Why shouldn't he care for his mother in the event he passes. Why not make a percentage of that property to care for her in her old age not a option? Was he thrown in a garbage can at birth.

 

Obviously you don't know Woggle's past history with his mother and why he is the way he is now. If you knew, you wouldn't be saying the above.

[Emme]

His Mother hasn't been kind and loving to Wog - she supported and kept in contact with Woggles druggy ex wife... Even after his ex got out of jail.

 

Doesn't matter. Not because she chose sides doesn't mean all the work she did as a mother is null and void. If you had food, water, and shelter as child do the same for your parents in old age. Even if you despise them. Don't allow peoples faults to turn you into something your not. Wog seems loving... very loving. An entire house full of love .

[dreamingoftigers]

Doesn't matter. Not because she chose sides doesn't mean all the work she did as a mother is null and void. If you had food, water, and shelter as child do the same for your parents in old age. Even if you despise them. Don't allow peoples faults to turn you into something your not. Wog seems loving... very loving. An entire house full of love .

 

My parents exploited me financially when I was vulnerable, they can count that as their "investment" in their retirement. It's not like I'm getting that back. I have two disabled siblings to look after at that point anyway.

[whichwayisup]

There is no lottery here, if there is, it's going to be taken by someone who just came to visit his life for 6 years.

 

Why are you hell bent on trying to discourage him? HE LOVES his wife and she LOVES him. You make it sound like she's the devil and about to screw him over. This woman, his wife, is a perfect match for Woggle. She brings out the best in him and has been understanding, patient and always has had his back during rough times. Please stop insinuating that his wife is a visitor and about to take him for a ride. WTF Emme.

[dreamingoftigers]

Why are you hell bent on trying to discourage him? HE LOVES his wife and she LOVES him. You make it sound like she's the devil and about to screw him over. This woman, his wife, is a perfect match for Woggle. She brings out the best in him and has been understanding, patient and always has had his back during rough times. Please stop insinuating that his wife is a visitor and about to take him for a ride. WTF Emme.

 

Unlike his mother who god knows why she kept him because she was a twit who clearly had nothing nice to say about men.

 

Who hangs out with someone that cheated on and shot at their child?

 

I have a little 3- year old. God help the idiot that messes with her in any way.

[whichwayisup]

Doesn't matter. Not because she chose sides doesn't mean all the work she did as a mother is null and void. If you had food, water, and shelter as child do the same for your parents in old age. Even if you despise them. Don't allow peoples faults to turn you into something your not. Wog seems loving... very loving. An entire house full of love .

 

Again, obviously you don't know or understand the hell he went through because of his mother.

 

So, let me put it into terms that you can compare and understand.

Let's pretend that your father raped you over and over again as child and then when you were teen too. As a young adult you got away from him and you were messed up because of him. The damage he did to you, for all those years.. So, tell me, would you want to look after your father?

 

(sorry to be graphic but I am trying to make a point so you can see how much this man HATES his mother, how fuc.ked up she is and why he needs to not have her in his life, she's a cancer and a bad person!) AND, I'm not saying or implying Woggle's mom sexual abused him, I just used your dad emme as an example as to why Woggle needs to stay away from his mom, for you to understand better.

[UpwardForward]

Again, obviously you don't know or understand the hell he went through because of his mother.

 

So, let me put it into terms that you can compare and understand.

Let's pretend that your father raped you over and over again as child and then when you were teen too.

 

AND, I'm not saying or implying Woggle's mom sexual abused him, I just used your dad emme as an example .

 

Then why make the comparison. Rape of a child is a heinous act.

[Woggle]

Actually my mother did sexually abuse me as well. She would go in my room and play with my private parts while threatening to cut them off so she wouldn't have a son.

 

I got the house in my divorce and even though things are getting better it is clear some changes need to happen in the divorce court system. I hope most fair minded people can agree with this.

[UpwardForward]

Actually my mother did sexually abuse me as well. She would go in my room and play with my private parts while threatening to cut them off so she wouldn't have a son.

 

I got the house in my divorce and even though things are getting better it is clear some changes need to happen in the divorce court system. I hope most fair minded people can agree with this.

 

Yes. I see. Not raped but certainly sexually abused. And understandably you wouldn't want her a part of your life. Looks as if she's been irrational and hateful much of your entire lifetime.

 

I'm happy you were able to keep your home. And it sounds like a piece of prime (almost irreplaceable) real estate. Also a real estate exchange (sale & purchase) in this state could possibly mean Property Taxes to go up in multiples, depending on when the house was orig. purchased.

 

With your new W of six years being so devoted and also having put her own money into your house, it does seem reasonable to tell her your intention of having her as a co-owner. But not necessarily to prove any trust regarding pre-existing gender issues.

[Mme. Chaucer]

What did you do to have a bullet come your way?

 

Are you purposely implying that a person is somehow necessarily responsible for another person shooting at them?

 

And you seem to be rooting "for" the OP's vicious and hateful mother, and against his wife.

 

What gives?

 

Regarding "you owe your parent for feeding you, blah blah blah," I call BS on that. There are situations where turning your back on your parent and walking the other way is the only thing to do, even if they gave you enough material stuff for 12 kids.

 

Anyway, I doubt that the heinous Wogglemom will be a homeless bag lady ever.

[Woggle]

I am not out there trying to get revenge on my mother or harm her in anyway. I tried to have a relationship with her but she insists on being the way she is and probably will do until her last breathe. That is her choice not mine.

[whichwayisup]

Then why make the comparison. Rape of a child is a heinous act.

 

So she gets how he feels towards his mother.