Blondie13 Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 Hi stupiddumbidiot, I was just cheated on by my boyfriend........and honestly I wish I would have never found out. We talked about marriage, having kids, everything and he cheated. He says the same things that you are saying, he loves me more than anything, he has never done anything like this before, blah, blah, blah. So let me ask you a question, why did you do it? And don't say because you were drunk because that is not an excuse, it's a copout. My boyfriend was sleeping with someone that we both worked with for about a month before I found out, he says it was just sex, and honestly it probably was but I wish I never would have found out. If you tell her your relationship will never be the same, trust me on that one. I do think people can change, but you really need to think about if you really want to be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 funny.... excess alcohol is a complete impotence pill... a guy so blind drunk, as he was, can't usually perform.... I've been with guys on benders, and trust me - they're worse than useless.... Being drunk is NEVER a excuse. .... Tara is spot on - guys that are THAT drun, truly are useless... My guy flat out told me: Leigh, when I am THAT drunk, I can simply not even perform sexually. You know this first hand Leigh. Cheating when drunk, is for men who are not 110% interested in maintaining their relationship. Either they are not truly in love, and/or they are a terrible person who is utterly selfish and spineless... You know, to go and cheat, rather than be smart and have enough integrity to talk it through to their partner. OP - so how did you manage to do it? If you were blinde drunk and not able to make informed desisions, how was it you were able to kiss, touch, and then have sex with this stranger? You physically did it; do you REMEMBER doing it? ANY snippets of the night? If you were THAT drunk, then... WHy would you feel like having sex with another girl, when y our so in love with your girlfriend? Are you sure your not just super attached to her?! Rather than actually being in true, romatic love? Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 It's ridiculous to say that men can't perform when drunk...I've never been inhibited by alcohol in terms of performing sexually. I'm not one of those guys that shuts down and cannot perform, many guys are but to assume that all men are useless that drunk, so that's misleading advice to me. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 it's not ridiculous to say men can't perform when drunk - i've been with 6 men, they've all been drunk and performance-wise they've all been completely hopeless. because drunken men, more often than not - are incapable of performing. It's less ridiculous to say - "alcohol doesn't seem to be much of an inhibitor to me, even in crazy, wild over-doses... even when I'm so blind drunk iI can't see the walls...." If that's the case, good on you. I have to tell you though, being sexually pawed by a man who's obvioulsy drunk is a huge turn-off, for me. but then, I don't drink. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 It's ridiculous to say that men can't perform when drunk...I've never been inhibited by alcohol in terms of performing sexually. I'm not one of those guys that shuts down and cannot perform, many guys are but to assume that all men are useless that drunk, so that's misleading advice to me. Seriously? When my partner is blind drunk, he is a mess! I have had to carry him, prop him up, get help to carry his body to bed, lay there why he carrys on incoherently.... Oh the joys:) Thank god it has only happened twice in two years:sick: He tells me TOO much alcohol hinders his ability to get a erection. Although can perform when moderately drunk. And when your drunk, would you truly do something you were SO against? Like cheating on a person you truly love? I am not sure of the answer personally. I just wonder if it is possible to truly love, and to cheat. In any way. Link to post Share on other sites
blugirl Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 OP, I know exactly how you feel cause I've done the same to my first bf BUT unlike you, I did it with full awareness of what I'm doing, being sober so I will never understand that someone who's in a rlship and truly loves the other person can just drink so much until they don't rmb anything, this is just stupid! Prevention is key. But I'm not here to give you lectures. I remember how horribly it feels, the guilt wrenching your guts out. I did the only good thing, I simply ended the rlship, not telling him anything. He never got to know. I didn't have enough courage and I didn't need all his and my friends to get to know and start gossiping about me. I know that you regret but you don't deserve to be with her anymore - if I ever was cheated on and got to know later by accident, I would get furious. I wouldn't ever want to touch the guy again after he'd put his tool in another girl, disgusting. So either you break up and never see her again or........if you really don't want to give up on her you MUST tell her and face the consequences. Don't you even try to get away with it and keeping it a secret. That's unforgivable, you MUST pay the consequences of what you've done by either leaving her or telling her, if you hope to have a second chance. There's no way out of it. If you ask me, why I haven't told him anything when I decided to leave, it's because I read somewhere that by telling your partner about it, you sort of push your guilt onto them, relieving yourself a bit but making them suffer at the same time, while it should be only you who has to suffer. So I somehow agree with it, spare her the hard time of crying and wondering 'why?!?!' and just leave. Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Please tell your girlfriend. It's too messed up to lie or try to hide what you did. You did it, now man up and accept the responsibility. I definitely agree with that Link to post Share on other sites
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