Cloud of Emotion/5 YEAR FWB Update

[lovejoy41]

Hello Fellow LS's,

 

This is somewhat of an update. I have not broke NC with my FWB. He has not attempted to contact me since 8/3 and I've finally gotten to the point where I could care less if he did or not. Yay!!! I really wanted to address someone who commented in my original thread "FWB Sucks/5FOOLISH YEARS.

 

@Sweetheart

 

I now totally understand what you were saying. That cloud of emotion that you spoke about has cleared and I get it now. I can't speak for anyone else who's in a situation like this, but I know that if someone doesn't intend to do the right thing by you they won't. By no means am I blaming myself or saying it's anyone's fault that they were done wrong by an ex, BUT I realize now that I have to take responsibility for myself. If you're dealing with someone who's not treating you right and you clearly see that they're not OR if those red flags are waving@ you, pay attention because you have to do something about it.

 

The person that I was dealing with wasn't honest nor did he respect me, but you know what? As long as he felt like I would accept being disrespected he was going to continue to do so. I knew what was happening but yet I expected him to be responsible enough to dismiss me or be honest about his feelings for me. Well, he didn't. I'm not going to play the blame game here but "sweetheart", you were right.

 

I took responsibility and dismissed myself! Soooo, the point of this post? If you're not happy and you don't see things changing, you change it. Don't expect anyone to take responsibility for your happiness. Through this situation I've learned to take responsibility for my own happiness. It wasn't easy, but when I WALKED away from this man I knew that I was finally putting my happiness first. I hope that this update will help LS's out there who are wondering (like I was at some point) "What about my happiness"?

[sweetheart5381]

Hello Fellow LS's,

 

This is somewhat of an update. I have not broke NC with my FWB. He has not attempted to contact me since 8/3 and I've finally gotten to the point where I could care less if he did or not. Yay!!! I really wanted to address someone who commented in my original thread "FWB Sucks/5FOOLISH YEARS.

 

@Sweetheart

 

I now totally understand what you were saying. That cloud of emotion that you spoke about has cleared and I get it now. I can't speak for anyone else who's in a situation like this, but I know that if someone doesn't intend to do the right thing by you they won't. By no means am I blaming myself or saying it's anyone's fault that they were done wrong by an ex, BUT I realize now that I have to take responsibility for myself. If you're dealing with someone who's not treating you right and you clearly see that they're not OR if those red flags are waving@ you, pay attention because you have to do something about it.

 

The person that I was dealing with wasn't honest nor did he respect me, but you know what? As long as he felt like I would accept being disrespected he was going to continue to do so. I knew what was happening but yet I expected him to be responsible enough to dismiss me or be honest about his feelings for me. Well, he didn't. I'm not going to play the blame game here but "sweetheart", you were right.

 

I took responsibility and dismissed myself! Soooo, the point of this post? If you're not happy and you don't see things changing, you change it. Don't expect anyone to take responsibility for your happiness. Through this situation I've learned to take responsibility for my own happiness. It wasn't easy, but when I WALKED away from this man I knew that I was finally putting my happiness first. I hope that this update will help LS's out there who are wondering (like I was at some point) "What about my happiness"?

 

Thank you for understanding what I was trying to explain . In a perfect world everyone would be considerate, kind, honest and sincere. Unfortunately this just simply isn't true. Imo, letting go of both blame (external) and shame (internal) are essential to being truly happy. I'm glad you are feeling better and are taking control of your own happiness!