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A second chance or a lost cause??!!


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i broke up with my 8 mo. boyfriend about 1month ago... after one night he said he wanted a casual relationship and for us to not be "exclusive". Days before he confessed his love for me and how much he cared about what we had.. (??) I never said i loved him back. so i sorta sense his ego got hurt then. i just wasn't ready then. But when he wanted a casual thing i truly got pissed off and put him on the spot of we're either together or we're not, he never gave me a straight answer, and i broke it off. But that wasn't it, a day later i find out that he's been saying **** behind my back-- he's only with me for the sex and feels that we have no relationship whatsoever -- this came from common friends we both have, his bestfriend Jennie who told MY bestfriend Sarah... this is so HS!! we're both 22 i don't wanna deal with this kind of **** anymore- he's the jerk or someone here is ****in with my head.

 

He has been trying to contact me but i never returned his mssgs, until yesterday (a month after) when i called him up to see a movie with a common friend we both have, i knew he was gonna be there so just to keep my cool and lessen the weirdeness for our friends, i made the call. we hung out afterwards, he tried to make his moves, i acted indifferent. he said he missed me, i missed him too, somewhat- so i said. i don't know how i did it, but i seemed very nonchalant. he tried to persuade me into going out somewhere else that night, i turned him down.

this morning he texts me at 6am, he's at his buddy's house (my neighbor) and wants to get together and talk... His words: he wants another chance, he realises how much he missed me, that he is ready for a commited relationship... compliments me head to toe - ofcourse i let him... i was a cold hard bitch, after all he doesn't deserve crap after all the **** i heard. I confronted him, and told him how impossible it is for me to believe him after the the things i've been hearing, he denied everything ofcourse ... i never mentioned the names, i just don't know if i should (??) but deep down, confronting the other 2 people involved, is what will make things straight.

 

i don't know what the hell i'm gonna do (???!!!) i realise that i feel nothing but love for this guy and i care about him a great deal... but maybe he is the jerk who wants the easy way in...

And to end on a better note, he confessed (well, after i pried him into it) that he hooked up with 2 girls during our break, and one of them i know her personally, which pissed me even more and i showed it!!

is this a lost cause i'm getting back into?? Should i try my hardest to forget him, again... and move on? i missed him so much, i can just see my weak self in his arms again tonight... i need advice asap before this happens!!

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My advice is to move on. The fact that he asked for a casual thing after the break-up lets you know that sex was more important to him than being exclusive with you. He was ostensibly willing for you to see and sleep with other guys as long as you gave him some. Same from his side too -- he was willing to put you into his mix, other women included. That's very disrespectful. It's not something a guy says to a woman he considers longterm relationship material.

 

-- uriel

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