innocent Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Ahhh!!! My parents are driving me nuts! Don't get me wrong I love them and understand that they have my best interest in mind. BUT the thing is that they are much older than people my age's parents (even grandparents) and are very old-fashioned and are are strict. Now let me explain, I am a good kid, never rebelled against them, just would respect their decisions, and hold my tounge. I had good grades never did anything bad like sneaking out, skipping school, etc... the list goes on and on... So why don't they trust me. I know that part of it is that I am the oldest and have just moved away, even though it was about a year and a half ago. I was never really close to my parents. I respect them and love them, but I could never talk to them about anything, because they would use that information against me to manipulate me into doing what they wanted me to do, so I learned to keep my mouth shut. I was never at home when i was living there always somewhere else because my boyfriend, was not welcome there to be alone with me and is still not allowed in my room. My friends were welcome there if the house was clean and they had like a few days ahead of time knowledge of when they would be there. So it was difficult to be there. Now the problem is that my mom wants to spend spring break with me. I have never been on spring break with anyone else but my parents. Even my first year of college i went home. This year I decided that I wanted to go somewhere by myself. With some of my friends and my boyfriend. I told my parents that I wanted to go somewhere for spring break with my peers, not telling them about the boyfriend aspect b/c they would freak out. I want to tell them but I know that they wont let me go, especially because most of my friends are guys too. But I have known them all for years and trust them completely because all of us have been through so much together. I know why this worries them because they might rape me or you know blah blah blah.... but they are not like that, they are like my brothers, and my boyfriend is my best friend. My parents look down on all of them because they are of the "lower class" and we are of higher middle class. I think that it is so stupid, but I can't change it ive tried. I will be nineteen years old and not able to go anywhere on my own or with boys. I don;t know why they don't trust me, or why they would even want to do this to me, I think that it is very appropriate for a girl my age to want to do this. My mom is trying to make me feel guilty now for turning her down, but I don't want to go with her. I just want to have some fun for once and relax because I have been working my butt off at college, and managed some excellent grades. And I've told them this, I don;t know what else to do. I am trying to be reasonable about it and not yelling and rebelling against them because I don;t want to, but they don't listen to me at all it's like I never told them about what i wanted to do. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
swtbonita Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 you can either rebel or do what they say.. my parents are the same way..I'm almost finished university and have been with my bf for a couple of years and they won't let me go on a trip with him either.. and I'm 23 years old.. You're only nineteen.. Parents know what happens on spring break.. so why would they want you to go? Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Do what you want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 You do not live under their roof anymore so basically you can make your own decisions, by this I don't mean to flat out tell her no, but do tell her that this year you want to do something different and that you already made plans and it would not be nice to cancel them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author innocent Posted July 15, 2004 Author Share Posted July 15, 2004 The thing is that my parents pay for everything, and I don't want to be taking advantage of that. I am very lucky to have my parents pay for everything and not have to work. So i have already told my mom no but she is trying to make me feel guilty now, and by using their money makes me feel even worse. I thought that maybe I could get a job to pay for it, and I tried that before, and i had a hard time keeping up in my classes and sleeping. I don't know I just want to be my own person and I wish that they would respect my decision as I have done for nearly every single time they have said no to me doing things or grounding me, and on and on... I am an adult and am very capable of taking care of myself without them, and I wish that they would realize that. Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 They may never realize it. You just have to do what you feel is right. Just because your parents help you in life doesn't mean they own you. You sound like a wonderful kid to me. Don't let your mom make you feel guilty. Do what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
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