redhot7240 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 hey, This is my first time I've writing to a site like this but I need some advice. I have an ex girlfriend that I still care about a lot I don't know if I love her still but do care about how she is and her happiness. Long story short we had a long distants relationship for almost three years. Well it been a year since she dumped me, when she did I was heartbroken, I begged her to stay with me. She told me it was to late because she had already gone to far with other guy. She said she did not want hurt me anymore and didn't want to lie but she was tired of the long distant thing. I begged and begged all summer long and she would said that she just didn't know but she needed to time. Well that was a year ago and since then I've move back and forward to her home country (France) because of my studies.( We never saw eachother b/c I was not ready would have been to emotional) but I don't think I would have done as much as I have since we broke up, if it was not for her because it really was a push for me to get me life in focus, something that she had alway want me to do so that we could make plans together. I didn't understand that until then how she felt about it. (she is 3 years old than me so she was more mature). Now one year late we still have some communication "random emails" she tell me about what she is doing and how happy she is, I do the same but they are very random some times she will write often and then just stop for a month or two then start again.. I don't know what to think of this exspecially now that her birthday is comign up and I'm not sure about send a card, email or by mail or at all? I don't want to cause trouble with her new boyfriend and her,( they just moved in together) and at this point I know I don't want another relationship not until I get myself where i want be. Someone Please help, b/c do care for her. she has truely given me a new outlook on life. I want to keep someone in my life like that but I don't want her to stay out of pity! redhot Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 She's with someone else now and you're feelings are currently still too romantically based for you to genuinely be friends. That may not ever be possible. Yet, you want to know how each other is doing and care to know that you're each doing well. Sometimes that's the best you can expect from an ex. Flowers, jewelry, and other romantic gifts aren't appropriate since she isn't single. A simply friendship card, one she could show her boyfriend, is fine. That way, she'll know you care and are thinking of her, but she'll also see you are respecting a boundary. If she ever breaks up with this guy, then you can call her and tell her you love her and want to get back together -- if that's the case. Now's the time to -- otherwise -- move on, leaving this as it is and no more. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
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