Are black men scared to approach white women?

[singlelife]

I had a friend tell me she is now interested in black men because she is getting divorced and has always been attracted to them. But she has been talking to her girlfriends and they say that black men are hesitant to approach a white woman because there is so much racial tension. Like maybe the white woman won't talk to them because she is scared of what her friends think. Or she may have it drilled in her head that it's wrong to date blacks. So there is a chance of a blow up situation. Is this accurate or what? Because my friend is feeling she may have to make the first move which is what her other friends tell her she will have to do to get chocolate, and she doesn't want to come off as being a slut.

[ThaWholigan]

Not really in my experiences, a lot of black guys I know are socialized a certain way, so they will approach most women of any race. If anything, they have more reservations approaching black women, because a lot of them believe (mistakenly) that white women are easier.

 

Your demographic might be different, so I don't know....

[Contrecoeur]

I don't think so. It's been my experience, and the experience of many females I know, that we get approached my black men more than men of any other colour.

 

Maybe a bit of a generalization, but black men tend to be a lot more bold than, say, white or asian men.

[singlelife]

I thought that black men approach white women as and are more confident as well. That's why I am asking. Maybe she is just nervous because she has never been there.

[Quiet Storm]

No, in my experience black men approach the most. However, I do have a big booty, so my experience may be skewed.

[Forever Learning]

No, in my experience black men approach the most. However, I do have a big booty, so my experience may be skewed.

 

I've got a nice booty too, and the black fellas aren't shy with saying hello and such.

 

I think many black men are quite confident nowadays, perhaps moreso than other races. There are great qualities about all type of guys, from every race. So it just depends on what clicks on a personal level, as always.

[kaylan]

Some are, some arent...just like all men. Culture is an indicator...not race.

 

/thread

[taiko]

It may be a mix generation and location. I would not approach you without sensing some very powerful signals of acceptance before hand. And on the back end I know I will get disapproval from my little brother Minister Muhammad, a local Nation of Islam leader along with many in the Black community who send the signal, especially if you are seen as a "successful black man" and not a blue collar guy just getting by like me.

 

I was just at my big brothers funeral last week and during the remarks a woman got up saying how proud she was that this Black man was with a Black women.... Meanwhile about of a third of our family, being military brats is racially mixed and his Black/Mexican granddaughter had just spoken. The pastor had to step in and cut her off with the we are one body in Christ message

[Crila16]

Absolutely not. I'm a white girl and I'm constantly getting hit on by black men. I actually find black men and hispanic men not to be shy at all.

[Feelin Frisky]

This may come as a surprise but "black men" are not all conjoined at the brain. Some, many, but not all take on airs that appear bold. But this is not a "black" thing--if you look at southern and rural "white" behavior you'll see similar airs--like taking liberties by running lines you've heard. Just change "damn, girl, you hot" to "dang, honey, you so sweet" and you have the same basic "air". So what does your friend want when she thinks "black"? Is it just black for no reason, or is she looking for fulfillment of some racial stereo-type? I have loved females who had African features but I didn't "go black"--I just let myself like one at a time for who she seemed.

[The Way I Am]

Based on the number of black men who've approached me, the answer is definitely no, black men in general are not scared to approach white women.

[yongyong]

I really don't see black guy and white girl couple during the day.

But they are all over at the club.

Maybe she can hangout at one of those clubs or sign up for the match.com and specify black guy on what she is looking for.

If she is especially a thick figure, she will have no problem getting hit on by a black guy.

[taiko]

It reminds me that when Denzel Washington is in a hero role his character will only be invovled with a dark Black woman. As the villian his character will interact with woman of other races. There is a social cost a Black man will pay in many internal Black circles if he is envovled with a woman of another race. For what its worth I am part of the 30% in an interracial marriage.

[zanesfan]

Not really in my experiences, a lot of black guys I know are socialized a certain way, so they will approach most women of any race. If anything, they have more reservations approaching black women, because a lot of them believe (mistakenly) that white women are easier.

 

Your demographic might be different, so I don't know....

 

Now this is interesting. Why would a BM have reservations about approaching a BW? Just curious?

 

And yes... I am she..

[taiko]

Now this is interesting. Why would a BM have reservations about approaching a BW? Just curious?

 

And yes... I am she..

If I am read ThaWholigan's post correctly, in theory he would choose a White woman because she is likely to spread her legs with less fuss

[zanesfan]

If I am read ThaWholigan's post correctly, in theory he would choose a White woman because she is likely to spread her legs with less fuss

 

No he said "mistakenly" as in there is a misconception about WW being this way.

[Garfish]

Where I live it's very common, just from looking around, for black men to date white women. I think it's more likely that a white man will feel uncomfortable approaching a black woman. Mostly because he feels she'll just be socialized to be angry at white men and will shoot him down without even thinking about it. But man, lately I have seen some super fine black ladies.

[ThaWholigan]

Now this is interesting. Why would a BM have reservations about approaching a BW? Just curious?

 

And yes... I am she..

 

There is a stereotype about black women having too much attitude and give too much problems, thus being more likely to shut them down. Also, there is a weird paradox that some black guys have where black girls are more prude (i.e. don't give head, aren't experimental etc) but at the same time are overly sexual . Never subscribed to it myself, and I don't think the same about white women either.

 

If I am read ThaWholigan's post correctly, in theory he would choose a White woman because she is likely to spread her legs with less fuss

 

Actually, I was saying that quite a few black men have that view about white women, and are thus likely to go for them. Also, I note that due to exposure and cultural environment, some black men see white women as more attractive and somewhat on a pedestal.

 

Me personally, I am not likely to choose any woman just because she will sex me without fuss. I fell into such a scenario by accident myself, and have never actually chased it. Personally, I am more attracted to black/ethnic women than white, but I do not discriminate, and would date a white girl if I liked her.

[zanesfan]

I think it's more likely that a white man will feel uncomfortable approaching a black woman. Mostly because he feels she'll just be socialized to be angry at white men and will shoot him down without even thinking about it. But man, lately I have seen some super fine black ladies.

 

Now... lets touch on this statement. I think the media portrays us to be these ignorant, loud, baby mama's. Unless you have experienced a BW on several occasions being rude to you you shouldnt feed into the negavity. A lot of my girlfriends are more open to dating non black men. We just arent approached (in public) out of fear of rejection or whatever. Now online is a different story. Half of the messages I get are from non black men.. be it that they are looking for a wife, fantasy, gf, whatever.

 

And yes there are plenty of BW who are beautiful, submissive, educated, etc. But 9 times out of 10 this isnt what's betrayed. There are many and plenty of non black men who has tried to date me. I have not allowed myself to be "faithful" to one race of men. Although, I would prefer to settle down with a black man eventually; I would not rule out being with a WM if the right one came along.

Edited August 15, 2012 by zanesfan

[Titania22]

Are black men scared to approach white women?

 

No, I recently went to LA and got hit on 4 times in the street. All the men were of African decent. They seem to be the only ones who were willing to approach.

[ascendotum]

white women love black men, I think white women approach them more then other way around.

Thats what I thought too. I guess it depends in what country or even part of the country as to how this situation works out.

[Garfish]

Now... lets touch on this statement. I think the media portrays us to be these ignorant, loud, baby mama's. Unless you have experienced a BW on several occasions being rude to you you shouldnt feed into the negavity. A lot of my girlfriends are more open to dating non black men. We just arent approached (in public) out of fear of rejection or whatever. Now online is a different story. Half of the messages I get are from non black men.. be it that they are looking for a wife, fantasy, gf, whatever.

 

And yes there are plenty of BW who are beautiful, submissive, educated, etc. But 9 times out of 10 this isnt what's betrayed. There are many and plenty of non black men who has tried to date me. I have not allowed myself to be "faithful" to one race of men. Although, I would prefer to settle down with a black man eventually; I would not rule out being with a WM if the right one came along.

 

I know you're right about the media stereotype. Don't assume I was hating on black women, far from it. I wasn't trying to reinforce it, I was speculating on what some white guys think, not on how black women act. They (the guys) may think that, because of history and so forth here in the U.S., and especially the south, that they are just resented as the enemy and have no chance. I've also heard some talk from black women that they would prefer to stay with their own race, but hey that's an individual preference, obviously not true in your case. Since I've worked/work very closely with black women I don't have the impression that they are "ignorant, loud baby mamas" that wasn't even what I meant. I've never had a relationship with a black lady but lately I've noticed some glances and smiles in my direction recently that really boosted my ego and I sure appreciated it.

 

Obviously there are a lot of guys online who are puffed up by the anonymity of the internet, needless to say I'd be wary of those.

[zanesfan]

I know you're right about the media stereotype. Don't assume I was hating on black women, far from it. I wasn't trying to reinforce it, I was speculating on what some white guys think, not on how black women act. They (the guys) may think that, because of history and so forth here in the U.S., and especially the south, that they are just resented as the enemy and have no chance. I've also heard some talk from black women that they would prefer to stay with their own race, but hey that's an individual preference, obviously not true in your case. Since I've worked/work very closely with black women I don't have the impression that they are "ignorant, loud baby mamas" that wasn't even what I meant. I've never had a relationship with a black lady but lately I've noticed some glances and smiles in my direction recently that really boosted my ego and I sure appreciated it.

 

Obviously there are a lot of guys online who are puffed up by the anonymity of the internet, needless to say I'd be wary of those.

 

Garfish, by no means was I referring to you when I made this statement. Your post did not come across as demeaning at all. Im just more so venting because of all the slack we as get.

 

I think for some black women we want someone who is relate able, we dont want to chance being called the "n" word, we dont want to feel like the odd person out in your social functions (we want to be accepted). I dont care about any of these things except the "n" word obviously.

 

I definitely think more women are getting out of that, "I only want to date a brother" mind zine because "our" men surely have.