DearJane Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 My fiancee was at a bar one night about 5 months ago and got a little drunk. (Don't you love how these stories start?) He was there with 3 friends and there was another couple in the bar. He goes to the bathroom and as he's walking out, there's a girl (who was there with a guy) who had her head out of the girls bathroom waiting for him. She says "come help me". My fiancee works at this bar so he doesn't think anything about it. She backs into the bathroom as he walks in. His exact words were "she leans into kiss me and it lasted for a couple seconds before I realized what she was doing and pushed her off." I'm not looking for speculation as to whether there's more to the story. I just need to know if anyone thinks this is cheating. It may end up that the majority thinks it's not cheating, and that's fine. But I still feel cheated... Link to post Share on other sites
GLDheart Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Yes. Simply because: ...it lasted for a couple seconds... The question I would want answered is: Why did he even allow it at all? Hint: "It just happened" and "I was drunk" don't cut it. Link to post Share on other sites
jocy_20 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 In my opinion, it's cheating. No person in a relationship should be kissed or kiss anyone else. Ask him, how would you feel it that was me being kissed. He said it lasted for a couple seconds until he realized.. instantly he should have got away when she violated his space, especially her being a woman and he's engaged. You either break off the engagement if you really feel cheated or speak firmly with him about personal space when it come to people/women. It shouldn't happen again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Going by just what you shared, I don't think it was cheating. She followed him, she surprised him with a kiss, and it took him a second to get through the shock and push her away. What was he supposed to do in that situation? I don't know how he could have handled it differently. And he told you about it. So that's a +. Now, I know you said you didn't want speculation, but the question I would be asking is what he did to embolden her to think he would be responsive to a kiss. It is possible she's just 10 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound sack, but more likely that he made her think somehow that he would want that kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DearJane Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Funny story... Yes, he told me. But only after 5 months of telling him there was something he wasn't telling me. He'd lie, tell me a half truth and hoped I would drop it. And I just found out today that he's been coaxing girls at the bar to show him their t*ts. Classy... Link to post Share on other sites
jocy_20 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Honestly, it seems as if he isn't the type of guy you should marry. Considering his job is honestly overrated if he's getting married soon. Their are a few things you should consider far as the wedding. If he cannot tell you the truth, whether its good or bad..what else will he not tell you. You shouldn't have to ask twice, he should be honest the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Funny story... Yes, he told me. But only after 5 months of telling him there was something he wasn't telling me. He'd lie, tell me a half truth and hoped I would drop it. And I just found out today that he's been coaxing girls at the bar to show him their t*ts. Classy... Well - this adds another layer. With this additional information, I believe what he told you is still a half-truth. I assumed he came home and immediately told you what happened and you still weren't over it 5 months later. My guess is you are with a cheater, and he's giving you just enough info to not get into "trouble" while also getting you to drop it. Trust your gut. Look at his actions on a whole. Is he open and honest typically? Or is he secretive and shady? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DearJane Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Nope. He said nothing. I only just got this out of him over the last 4 days. Slowly. First it was she tried to kiss me. Then it was, I turned my face and she kissed my cheek. Today it was what I posted above. If he'd told me the truth immediately, I wouldn't be here today. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DearJane Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 He finally confessed everything last night. He never told the girl he had a girlfriend and he kissed her back. There was more about other things as well. Looks like I'll be moving to a different forum... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 3 words.. DUMP HIS ASS. He isn't husband material, he's proved to you he isn't ready to settle down and be in a committed relationship, let alone be a husband, a family man. He's immature, a liar and a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 And I just found out today that he's been coaxing girls at the bar to show him their t*ts. This is someone you want to MARRY???? :eek: Link to post Share on other sites
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