Workout Meltdown/Another Update

[lovejoy41]

Hello My Fellow LS's

 

I posted on the thread yesterday about how much better I was feeling. So, today I decided to take it up a notch. I hadn't worked out in almost a month and was having a hard time trying to get motivated since my BU with my 5 yr fwb. Well, I went today. When I got to the lot I had a meltdown. I begin to realize that my motivation in my past visits to the gym (when I was going consistently) had been because of him. When that realization hit me I burst into tears and begin to think about him. All of my body parts froze up with fear and I couldn't move.

 

I just sat there staring at the building for about 5 minutes. Pretty pathetic huh? However, good news! I got a grip, told myself to get strong again, wiped my tears and shook off that fear and went in! I told myself that I had to do this for me! All of this time I had people telling me that I needed to go to the gym to help me cope&when I got there I found that the gym was a trigger. You see I would work out& then go out with him or text him shortly after in the past. This is why I had the meltdown. BUT, I did it and I got in 30 minutes of cardio.

 

Now, I'm truly exhausted. I was quickly reminded of how a good workout can help with sleep. Bye Bye to dreams of him now(I hope)! I did a little snack shopping afterwards. I bought myself two twisty doughnuts. Yeah, there goes my workout right? But I wanted to treat myself and who is counting calories anyway after fighting off all of that fear??? I deserve those doughnuts!!! Anyway, I am really proud of myself for going. For me, that was a major breakthrough. By going back I proved to myself that I can get through this. And then when I got home my best friend of 12 years called to check on me. He has always known how to put a smile back on my face and keeps me laughing and him being easy on the eyes doesn't hurt either. Anyway, I just wanted to drop this update and hope that it will be some type of encouragement to someone else who's trying to move on from a bad bu. Shake off the fear and keep fighting for your happiness. Best wishes my friends

Edited August 15, 2012 by lovejoy41

[jgregory4614]

Thats awesome! Keep up the good work! I too haven't been working out recently but I can tell you thing...It feels good after lifting weights again. I've been lifting everyday for the past 2 weeks and it does build your confidence. I know it took a lot of effort to go inside the gym after your meltdown but that shows you have what it take to overcome that feeling. I'm proud or you!

[lovejoy41]

Thank you jgregory & good for you too! I was lifting weights when I was going about a month ago but I stopped because I'm a thick woman. I'm smaller portioned in the top, but I'm curvy towards the bottom with a small waist, hips, thick thighs and a huge butt. Soooo, with the type of figure that I have the weights were to keep me toned and they did but with the muscle building under the fat in my butt and thighs it made me look a little bit bigger than what I would like and I wasn't lifting much. 20-30lbs on my lower half and 10 on my arms and chest. So now I'm focusing on just doing cardio to burn more fat and then I will go back to weights to tone after I've lost some more.

 

Like I said on another post I've already lost 7lbs but that was the week I went NC with my friend and was depressed and crying a lot. So it's most likely that I lost it because of stress. Anyway, I'm happy that I did go back today. I'm in the acceptance phase so now I'm beginning to feel more comfortable with getting back out and doing things. I'm thinking about going to have myself a frozen mango margarita(yummy!) at a local Mexican restaurant/bar Friday. You never know what might be waiting. And I have a co-worker's b-day party that I will be attending at a famous bar here in Atlanta on Sept 1. My bf(male) has called me today and that also has helped. So along with work everyday, I have a lot to look forward to as far as staying busy.

 

Hopefully all of this will put him even further away from my mind. Although several of my friends have told me that they think that I probably haven't heard the last of my ex. Ugh! I'm still NC since he contacted me 8/3 via text. I didn't respond and I don't intend to in the future. I told everyone I knew that he would have to show up at my door with a sincere apology & confessing salvation from the lord before I would even consider talking to him again. Hopefully that won't happen. For me there isn't really anything much to say.

Edited August 16, 2012 by lovejoy41

[jgregory4614]

Your totally right about going out for a drink every now and then. I went to a local spot near my house (which I hardly ever go out) and got hit on by a couple attractive women. Talking about a confidence boost! I have to admit I was looking fresh!

 

If you go out looking your best and show you have a little confidence, you will have the guys checking you out! Who knows, maybe something more.

 

Seems you have a great deal of workout knowledge! Your right, cardio is a perfect workout method. Remember, the more you sweat the more you lose. A good diet can never go wrong either but I'm sure you have that down too. I'm more into gaining muscle. My day job keeps me fit (In the heat all day) so, I get more than enough cardio.