rocawear4569 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 I met a beautiful female a few months ago. She is in her late twenties, married (Aprox: 4yrs), with no children. We started off as friends, which always seems to be the case. We connected and communicated on a level that was amazing and powerful. At first, I thought she was having problems with her husband and was looking for a fling, which in my eyes was perfect (Though I knew that it was a bad idea), BUT she confirmed that her marriage was doing well. She explained to me that her and her husband always had sex, they didn't argue a lot, and that she was happily married. I was confused because here was a married girl telling me that she wanted to make love with me, that I was her soul mate, that I made her happy, and that I was always in her thoughts in everything she did. For about 2 months we were having sex several times a month (not week). At first I was OK this is bad, but I thought, when am I ever going to sleep with a female this beautiful. The fact that she was married rarely crossed my mind, idk why but it didn't. To us both it felt right, like we were not doing anything bad. It then got to a point that I regret now, I started to fall in love with her as she was with me. Our "love making" was the best ever, our feelings for one another were insanely wild. It felt like high school all over again; butterflies flowing throughout our tummy's, kisses were indescribable, simply said everything was enhance. I knew that what we were doing would not last, eventually we would get busted. Well, I was right , red handed we were. The hubby found out. I was deeply hurt because, like a dumb ass, I was in love with this girl. I was like, man Im going to miss this girl, Im going to miss how she makes me feel. We didn't talk for a couple of days after she got caught, I had no idea how she got busted. All I knew was that she text me saying that she did not want to talk to me, I was like wth!? After a few days we talked and was told that he found out. She told him that I was a good friend. She never told him about the affair, just that we hung out as friends. Im hurting like a little b**ch because I madly missing her companionship. I know you guys will talk **** and what not, trust me I know what I did was wrong, but come one, Im a guy that ends up talking to a beautiful girl, who would pass that up....some guys may, but many guys wont, and I was one of the many, but like a dumb ass, I fell in love (SMH). Anyway, she ends up telling me that she still wants to be friends, that she can't see herself without me being apart of her life. She said she was crying and felt sick, as if someone ripped her heart out cause I was not in her life. What should I do, not be her friend (Im not looking to marry this girl, what happened happened)? In a way, I feel like I would be teasing myself if I stayed as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Alban Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Well I don't think you are the bad one here, it's her. She is the married one who has a men, who may have loved her, trusted her, thinking she is the light that guides him home.. she isn't worth a penny. You should get over her, and find something else to do. Don't go out with her anymore, put yourself in her husbands shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Don't invest your heart in someone who is not available. Save it for someone who is actually available to openly return those feelings and openly be with you. I'm sure it must be agony to have someone you love going home to some other man night after night, and making love to some other man. You're only going to torment yourself if you keep her in your life on such a limited basis as just a friendship. Spare yourself the heartache and cut off the relationship completely so your heart will be free to find someone who can fully and openly give you the love you want in your life. This is a dead end relationship and you're only setting yourself up for more heartache the longer you continue it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 If you stay and be her friend, you'll never get over her and deal with the loss of it truly being over. You'll never allow yourself to become attached or open to someone else in the future. Staying her friend prevents you from healing and also keeps the focus on her. You'll still only be able to see her, rely on her on HER time schedule, not yours. She can call you anytime and you'll be for her in a flash. you call her? Nope, you won't get even HALF back from her as she is married, and she can't 'be there' for you when you need her. A friendship with her is a cancer to her marriage. She has split attention between you and her husband. Eventually the feelings will get in the way and it'll go physical again. Also, she is using you to so she can get the benefits of having you in her life (feed her ego/feelings, when she wants to have a rush) and she gets to her keep her husband, house and life with him.. AKA having her cake and eating it too. You will suffer more and hurt as well. A friendship so soon after an A ends is impossible, let alone unfair to her husband and marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rocawear4569 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 Thank you Alban, Kathy M, and iSup for listening to my story. Your words are golden and I will take your advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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