Getting ready to make the break

[Jellybean21]

I posted last month about my situation, we have had some brilliant chats MM and me. But it amounts in the same conclusion. He wants to be with me but feels as though he cannot abandon his family.

 

I recently went on holiday with my family, it was a long two weeks and was looking forward to getting back to MM. But during that time I got thinking that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life missing MM. I do want more, and the sad fact crept in that he is still buying his house with his wife, he still wants his family he still wants everything as is. How do you know, cause he is still there. Maybe I am heartless and I will leave my husband and son but I love my son I just don't love my husband. The last few years of our marragie have been a farce I have to go. Even if that means me on my own. My husband deserves a chance of happiness to and I am tired of all the lies etc.

 

Since returning from the holidays I am just so sad, think it's realisation. I called up another company who were looking for people and I see them next week for an interview, MM and I work together.

 

So now my plans are to more to the new company, which is far enough and try and piece my life together but wow I feel like my world is ending. It is SO tough. so so so tough. MM doesn't know, sadly he is moving and I will resign when he is off during that week. I'm angry and sad, what a mix! like I'm not good enough and I know if I walk away he won't come running after me, 4 years and yeah. 4 years and blank...

 

Anyway sorry just wanted to put it down somewhere, my head feels like it is going to explode.

xx

[veryhappy]

I read your other thread, and it seems like this was a very long exit affair for you. It accomplished its purpose, which was to divorce your H.

 

You know know he won't leave, no matter how much he thinks he want to do that, so just follow up with your plan and stay strong.