BettyBoo Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 My daughter got back with an ex and got pregnant after 4 months she miscarried the baby early and we as a family supported her and her boyfriend through that time. However he did not tell his own family about the miscarraige and I felt very uncomfortable about this as he is close with his family. Two months later they got engaged and it just does not feel right to me. I have serious doubts if he does not tell his parents about important events in his life such as the death of his child what is he so afraid of. By the way they are both 29? I am an uneasy feeling as a mother and feel my daughter is not seeing straight. I have spoken to her about her wellbeing in general but she got furious with me and accused me of not liking him which is not true. What I do not like is that he was not honest about such a serious matter and now that they are engaged. How do I sit with that elephant in the room! Please has anyone been through this? Advice please Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Well I think people have the right to handle traumatic events in their own way. Your future SIL maybe didn't tell his family precisely because they are so close and he didn't want their grief to magnify his. I can certainly relate to that. I wonder occasionally if I had cancer how I would tell my mother and sister because they would be so upset, dealing with that would be almost harder than dealing with death itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolfcub Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 I would never tell anything impotant as this problem to my parents. Yes, they would do their best to help but also my mom will cry her eyes out every night for many years and my dad will tell my secrets to everybody I hate. So its better for everybody if they don't even know. And if you keep bitcing about most important events in your daughters life, like her engagement, chances are she will not tell you anything. Maybe not immediately, I learned to keep my mouth shut over the decades, but eventualy. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 There is a possibility there is nothing nefarious underneath this. I had/have a form of social hypersensitivity, in the past i have found my parents [and sibling] to spill the beans on my innermost thoughts or ... what i did. What to most ppl felt like a slight, to me it felt like being humiliated to the world. I learned pretty fast to keep things to myself, so unfortunately i now have very clearly defined layers of trust and nobody is on my innermost layer, not even when i was fully in love. This guy might be like this, or he might try to spare his parents feelings. He might also try to protect your own daughter from more pressure on her. It kinda sucks when you are suffering alone and you know you will pull through it, only to have ppl keep reminding you of what happened by saying how 'sorry they are'. Besides this incident, what is it that you don't like about this guy ? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 I posted my reply on your other thread. Link to post Share on other sites
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