kiababy Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 OW2Wife - your perspective is unique and I feel like you really understand me more than anyone! Yes, I avoid talking about the future with him. It has been assumed by some on this site that I'm one of the OW that think someday he'll leave his wife to be with me. I've never said I wanted that. I truly don't know what I want to happen. I am in fact getting more out of this relationship than the ones with single guys. The single guys I've dated the last little while only call me to arrange a date...or 'hook up', I typically would only hear from them once a week, if that. My MM and I talk and text message each other several times every day. We talk about life, work, feelings, dreams and needs. Today I met him for lunch at one of his service calls. We had lunch on a picnic table on the lawn out side the building and talked. When he was through eating I said: "If all we did this afternoon was sit here and talk, that would be fine with me." He said that was exactly the right thing to say, and that I had made his day. Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Originally posted by miz_barby What I don't get is WHY someone doesn't value themselves enough to want the man ALL for THEMSELVES?? That is what confuses me. If he's such a "good guy" why allow yourself to "share" him with someone else. you are neither a scorned wife nor an OW yet you come in this forum time and time again to be judgemental about situations you have never experienced and i have to ask myself why you'd do that. as for your hypothesis that any woman who's ever been the OW not valuing herself, i find your theory laughable. i really do. i'm sure you good and morally upstanding people remember the parable about Jesus coming upon the woman being stoned and he says, "let those without sin cast the first stone." too many people come here to preach without having nor desiring to have any understanding of the situations. i believe affairs are damaging and i regret my situation (i was the OW of a guy who had a girlfriend and although our physically intimate relationship was short, our emotional relationship was a long one - 3 years - and was the far more damaging one). i come here after i've finally cut off our friendship and i'm seeking others that understand the situation (clearly not the same thing as sympathy) and i can vent and discuss my emotions and my pain. it is an aide to help me to heal. do you judgemental honestly think we come here to be preached at and judged? do you honestly think it helps us "scarlet women" see the error of our ways? do you think a public thrashing might help? btw, i've been the OW once (and hopefully never again but i won't say with 100% certainty that i never will again because before this relationship i thought i was 100% sure i would never be the OW or the cheating spouse). i've been the cheated-on spouse of two men (and one was a serial-cheater). so i believe i can see the picture with a wide-angle lens. Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Very well put Littleflowerpot - it's like shooting fish in a barrel. No thought or knowledge of the situation required. How are you doing by the way? What have you been up to? Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Originally posted by kiababy Very well put Littleflowerpot - it's like shooting fish in a barrel. No thought or knowledge of the situation required. How are you doing by the way? What have you been up to? so far today, i'm doing well. yesterday i was a bit of an emotional mess so i went shopping. nothing like a little shopping to lift this girl's spirits. but seriously, i was all about feeling angry and hurt and sorry for myself yesterday. how are you? Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 how are you? ...you know, same s**t, different day.... When you go shopping, make sure you buy shoes! Shoes make you feel so good they should be prescribed to treat depression!!! Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 i like shoes but i'm more of a clothes girl. Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Are you getting out and doing stuff, or not there yet? Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 oh, most definitely - i've got to wear these new clothes somewhere! actually, i never stopped going out. i know how i am and i tend to isolate and i also know it would be the worse thing for me at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
grace1962 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Not the change the subject but how do you NOT isolate littleflowerpot? That is what I am doing. I cant leave my home. I don't answer my phone. I feel like I cant get the simplest things done. How do you make yourself get up ..go out and smile? Do you talk to your freinds about this? I don't........... anyway I'm curious. Grace Link to post Share on other sites
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