caveman747 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 It's been a year since I met her. My first true love. Told her exactly how i felt, cried when I knew it couldnt happen, found some relief here at the lowest point in my life. We've chatted almost every single day since then and have become real close friends, comfortable and trusting. We rarely meet in person, usually during the lull between her bf's, she knows i cant bear to talk with her abt her relationships, so we even agreed to not mention them. And I still think the world of her, nothing or noone else matters. Never miss a chance to help her and never trouble or pester her. Just good friends, sigh. I'm a smart guy, I thought I understood the situation, read books, checked out these forums, went to intellectualwhore.com, read up on Limerence, pscyh self help, a gf is unlikely etc. Well, one year later, I have slowly picked myself up, but considering how low I was feeling, thats not saying much. Each day is filled with constant thoughts of her and so much sadness and heartache that my chest is physically hurting. And she's been nothing short of an angel, even helped me hook up with another girl. But my life has been pretty much a downward spiral. Used to be a happy, optimistic guy with great prospects, now I'm just a sad guy with a defeatist attitude to everything, like whats the point in living for yourself. She just msged sayin she got new braces, we shld go dinner n take a look at them. My mood swings from deep sadness to elation. This is my life now, and I've been through these feelings countless times in the past year, ive learned not to read too much into them, the little things she says that mean SO much to me. Sad, heartbroken and looking for advice. I dont want to lose her friendship, I dont want to lose myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Told her exactly how i felt, cried when I knew it couldnt happen Why couldn't it happen? Link to post Share on other sites
packersgirl Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 I'm in that same boat, exact same boat. One of my closest and dearest friends has had feelings for me since November. I only know because he and I went out a few times, then he asked if we could officially date. I gave it a shot, but I didn't feel anything. I felt so bad too, because here was this great guy, someone who would be almost everything I needed him to be, and I felt nothing. I told him after weeks of tossing and turning over my decision, that I wanted a friendship, and nothing more. He has NEVER told me how he feels, and that bothers me so much because I NEVER know where I stand with him. You've told this girl how you feel about her, right? As in, you've told her everything, not withheld any information? Because, honestly, being in the same situation you are, just on the opposite end, that is so important. If you're in love with her, tell her. If you have amazingly strong feelings for her, tell her. I personally, am a sucker for guys who share their feelings. I know if my friend were to suck up his fear and tell me how he feels, it would cause me to think twice about my past decision. I have also been in your shoes. Liking someone so much you can't get them out of your head, you can't move on... even when they have, you just want to be there for them. If you know for a fact that things with this girl aren't going to work, you need to move on. I had to remove this guy that I was almost in love with from my life completely. He was my best friend too, I was heartbroken. He and I are friends now, but it took time away and healing to get myself to move on. I hope that you never have to experience the type of pain that I had to deal with, but if you do, there is hope and life after heartbreak. Link to post Share on other sites
wwwazzup Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 yes, you expressed yourself at the beginning, but i think you need to tell her that you are misserable or however you feel now....if you are a true friend, you NEED to communicate that to her. friends need to be honest with each other, even if it is going to hurt the other person. i totally understand what you are going through. i am going through that exact same thing too right now. i myself has been rejected by a guy, whom i was falling very fast for. (my story is in another thread under this subject). i expressed myself to him and he rejected only saying he could only offer "friends with benefits". i took that only because i rather have that then nothing. but you see.....i lowered myself worth just to keep this guy around. it sounds like you are doing that as well with lowering yourself worth, just to keep this girl in your life. i realized that it is wrong. after getting advice from this website and among my friends (and his friends too). all i have to say is that you need to confront her of your feelings ASAP. tell her EVERYTHING!! don't hold nothing back. regardless if she is in a relationship or not. going through 1 year with having this much pain, is not healthy!!! good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
caveman747 Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Well, thanks. Olivia, she doesnt like me that way. We are totally honest with each other and she knows exactly how I feel about her. The best part is we trust each other and can talk about everything. For a few months, I used to tell her how sad I was once in a while, but then I couldnt see any point to it. Rather keep the friendship and try to be happy about it. She has her own wonderful life. But she's a great friend, so rare and I cant decide which one is worse - breaking contact or just continuing like this. wwwazzup, i read your thread and honestly your guy sounds like a jerk. you are better off in a healthier rs. packersgirl, if your guy is still friends with you and he is single, he's probably miserable. Why dont you try to get the truth out of him, you say there COULD be a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts