anyone else put off by the opposite sex?

[irin]

I agree with the last sentence, not so much with the conclusion before that, though, as I find working on a "career" neither satisfying nor appealing, but it seems going down the family route is very risky with how fickle men are today. I've heard many of a story about how women stick to their men loyally for many years, raise their kids only to be kicked out for someone younger at a certain age, or getting cheated on. It's really terrifying, and just not worth it. That's why finding someone who is a 100% into you and not just "settled" because he couldn't get what he really wanted is vital and crucial for even giving it a shot in my opinion, but good luck finding that today; most men like you said only care about a very specific type of woman.

 

i know that having a family is far more appealing and fulfilling, but the pain of being betrayed by someone that you love is far more agonizing then losing a job. besides i dont ever want to rely on a man financially, and searching for the one in million guy is going to be very time consuming. but i guess its all about what ever makes each individual happy.

[GoGlenCoco]

As a lesbian, how would you know what most women want in a man?

Because I used to date men for years before coming out of the closet. I realized a lot of what I thought I wanted in a man was more of an admiration for his good qualities and that if I could acquire them myself, I could probably be a chick magnet, too.

 

Good question.

[Emilia]

Men and women can't be friends. Most likely your males friends think you're hot so they put up with female topics that have no interest to men at all. They believe they have a 5% chance with you.

 

NO guy befriends women they find unbangable thus you my dear must be HOT to them.

 

Since you have no real friends I'm assuming, you aren't really in the place form an opinion on male-female friendship. No disrespect

[Emilia]

i think all men will cheat sooner or later; they are just too hardwired having sex with many different women and it's just too important to them. in fact, i sometimes think it's the ONLY thing that's important to them, which already is reflected in the way they see things: they constantly talk about women's bodies and judge and rate them on those "traits" alone. you find threads here such as "my girlfriend has gained weight, how can i make her look hot and sexy again", not: "my girlfriend is so stupid, how can i make her more of a pleasure to be around" (because men don't care about personality as long as the exterior is "hot" ).

 

when men are out in the streets with their women, they don't enjoy taking in their own partner's sight but would rather seek out, stare at and drool over other women, making their women feel completely interchangeable.

 

when a woman is pregnant, men care less about being thrilled at the fact that their woman is carrying THEIR child, but care more about the "nasty" effects pregnancy has on the woman's body. that is like belittling a man who returns from war with tons of scars and wounds, i would like to see the men's reaction if their women commented on that with "ewww, you should get plastic surgery for those scars".

 

men are just shallow and sacrificing your life (literally) for one sometimes just doesn't seem worth it at all when all you can look forward to in the future is being traded in for a younger model as soon as you hit a certain age and have "done your duty". i can already predict some answers here, that with my attitude i won't run into the risk of ever experiencing that anyway but in the long run it's probably for the better anyway.

 

There are a lot of men out there with good character, you need to adjust your people picker. I don't know what it is that you look for when you start dating someone but you should pick different criteria, the ones you are using let you down.

 

It's simply ridiculous to suggest that one gender is worse than the other, it's fantastical and by default cannot be true.

[Emilia]

as negative as your post is their some truth to, i kinda feel stupid, for how i used to think id find love get married, have babies. now it seems pointless, id rather direct my efforts and energy towards building a good career and if i ever want children ill just adopt, or have it alone, men are just not worth it. all they care about is their d***s, and t*ts.

 

You are making a lot of assumptions in this thread but do I remember correctly that you have never been in a relationship? Certainly not a long term one.

[Radu]

I find it funny that the OP and it's title was somewhat gender neutral, yet after 2 pages the majority of the e-ink used is by women.

Certainly leads credence to LS being populated by women-hating trolls.

 

To answer the OP, yes ... i am in a phase right now where i have a 'take it or leave it' attitude about women.

Ironically, as i stopped caring about impressing women or getting desperate about finding a mate in them, i have started getting more attention from them.

I have yet to figure out if this is 'just friends' kind of attention or if there is a sexual connotation behind it brought on by being 'different' or even 'mysterious'.

About 2-3yrs ago my biological clock started ticking and i went from 'forever childless' to 'want a family long term'.

Seeing marriages disolve left and right made me ... beyond uneasy, and knowing that i have options now [surrogate mother, adoption as a single man], calmed me down [LS contributed to this as well].

 

There is another male poster who went through something like this, i hope he posts in this thread.

[Tea Leaf]

Yes, but I'm trying to get over it. My first boyfriend actually spiked my drink because he felt things weren't progressing fast enough sexually (thankfully, he broke down crying when I was halfway done so I had time to demand a ride home from his dad upstairs...), so it has a history that hasn't been helped much by dating further and reading forums like these. I try not to hang around too much.

[Hawaii50]

if you can't weed through douchebags, i don't know what to tell you. I can tell the if a woman is my sort or not in under a minute. Generally, of course.

[irin]

You are making a lot of assumptions in this thread but do I remember correctly that you have never been in a relationship? Certainly not a long term one.

 

a lot of assumptions? how many exactly?

[El Brujo]

now i dont mean hating or gender wars.

 

i mean the attitude which they have towards dating. i have completely lost interest in men. i make no association with them to romance. i still find them attractive, but just feel very cold towards them. i have no problem with friendship, talking to them, being civil, so on...

 

but just dont ever see myself with one. i know you all going to say your generalising, but honestly every guy i have come across, (around my own age) has the same attitude towards love, relationships, marriage, dating, everything.

 

and for a while i used really worry about not finding anyone, but now a days it like i dont really care. such kind feels bad because i used really want to fall in love, get married, children one day, but now i just feel empty.

 

Pretty much the way I feel about women.

 

They can be decent and attractive, and I used to have fantasies of getting married and living happily ever after... until I learned there are no women who enjoy the same things I enjoy.