It's Just Me Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Like "norms" are some god-written rules. Norms will change, always have and always will. And people who believed them like a religion and make harsh judgmental statements are the ones who will be made fun of for their close-mindedness, sometimes generations later. Totally agree. Not saying it's right. But right now, it is what it is, for certain things. Getting all worked up about it is a little disingenuous, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Are we talking about posting pics from an Online Dating perspective or just on an internet level ? Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 I'm gonna assume you are being obtuse on purpose now. You aren't acknowledging a thing we are saying. Well, I'd write more child, but it's time for me to leave work. My job that, guaranteed, I would not have if my employer found me posting nudes all over the internet. I don't have a problem with one saying "It's not a good idea because it can cost you your job or this or that". That's totally fine and logical. But saying "omg, it's so trashy and stupid. I can't understand how any person above two years old doesn't get this very obvious thing"...well, that to me is just too judgmental and emotional rather than logical. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Am i the only one who cannot see as a serious LTR prospect, a girl who puts up a topless picture of herself on the net ? Doesn't matter if it's FB, Google+, or any online dating site. Is flashing the entire country the new thing for dating ? PS: Pls no off-topic discussions. You can see many pics like that if you are dating on AFF(adult friend finder). She might like the idea that men of all ages all over the country are mas...ting using her pics. She might feel desirable, hot and sexy as a porn star to be used as an object for sexual satisfaction of tons of males. Also, she might have a bipolar or have no decent job and needs some money. Link to post Share on other sites
Pasttense Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 So these women say in their profile that they are interested in an LTR? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Radu Posted August 18, 2012 Author Share Posted August 18, 2012 (edited) I wouldnt feel shame in sharing a before and after pic in my profile to show women how much fitness means to me. Theyd get the picture about how Im sporty and active, and would like the same ina foxy female package. Ok, when i turn gay/bi ... i'll contact someone else for a relationship, you are not my type [radical liberal and all that]. And I wouldnt shame someone for doing the same or for reveling in their sex appeal. Let them enjoy it. Lord knows it helps more then hurts them. As long as a profile has substance, and the body shot isnt your default pic, then most people arent going to care that you have a pic up thats captioned "Well hey, I had to add this just so you get an idea of what you might get with me =)"Sex appeal is revealed in a very tacky way, with some immature buttons to push. 'Substance' is anything but general. It depends on the person watching it. The picture itself [a picture is worth a thousand words ... this is a saying, old one too], tells a hell of a lot about the person behind the profile. A couple pics arent going to negate everything in a well written profile. Especially if a girl makes it known shes looking for a relationship, and is loyal, and down to earth.Ohhhh, you will rarely see a girl who is looking just for attention, adulation, and casual relationship actually state that in her profile. Noooo, she will say she is a serious person, looking for a mature relationship. I made my point about art because mesmerized brought up classy nudity. I was just saying that nudity can be classy and tasteful. I wouldnt expect to see it on an online dating profile because its against the rules anyways....art or not. Save the nudity for private picture sending. If people want to send them privately...then thats on them.Just because it has the label of art, doesn't make it actually art. Unless you think taking a picture of my hairy ass, applying a nice stock filter to it, and putting it up, is 'art'. Most women dont do that though....and a hell a lot of more men send tactless nudity shots to girls than the other way around. But anyways, like I said...it wont be on a profile because those kinda shots get a profile banned.Most girls don't do that [women even less]. Maybe in your country those pics get a profile banned. In my original posts, on the first pages, i mentioned all social media, i don't know which social media you are referring but i think it's this 'OLD' thing you guys have. So these women say in their profile that they are interested in an LTR? They let it be known. Either in conversation, or amongst those that hooked you up, or in their profile in different social media. Edited August 18, 2012 by Radu Link to post Share on other sites
Author Radu Posted August 18, 2012 Author Share Posted August 18, 2012 I'll try to synthesize what bothers me. 2 things basically. For me someone who puts their naked or partial naked pic on the internet in whatever form [this also counts as sending it to someone by phone], is someone who lacks forethought. Someone who is into modelling, artsy stuff, but in a serious way, i can excuse from this. But your average guy/girl who does this shows that they don't care who sees them buck naked, and i find that a huge turnoff. I try to get to know a girl, and before she and I get in bed [i don't push for first date lays, i'm usually 3rd or 4th date even], i get this picture. I get immediately turned off, and it has happened. The girl obviously has incompatible boundaries if she is flashing the internet. I get frustrated, this thread is born out of this frustration. I also dislike the huge emphasis on revealing stuff. Most guys/girls today think that revealing is tantalizing. But i can see revealing everywhere. Any add, any magazine, any commercial has revealing, and the stuff gets racier and racier. Even Disney was caught spelling SEX [subliminally] in part of their advertising. It stands to some reason that i'm tired of seeing revealing, i want some mystery. I'm a guy, and one thing that guys are good at is stripping a woman in their minds. Revealing your body to us during the dating process stops that process. It also makes the process of unwrapping her that first time turn from 'wow, she looks even better than i imagined' to 'just like in the picture'. I know it's meant as a turn-on, but for me [and i bet others as well], it works like a turn-off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Facebook bans nude pics from their sites, sure this isn't another site? Am i the only one who cannot see as a serious LTR prospect, a girl who puts up a topless picture of herself on the net ? Doesn't matter if it's FB, Google+, or any online dating site. Is flashing the entire country the new thing for dating ? PS: Pls no off-topic discussions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Radu Posted August 18, 2012 Author Share Posted August 18, 2012 Facebook bans nude pics from their sites, sure this isn't another site? I wasn't referring to only nude, and it's very easy to link a nude photo or share a nude photo and circumvent FB. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Yeah, and for some guys, showing your boobies to half the world on the internet (when you're not getting paid for it) is a boundary that shouldn't be crossed. You may not like it, but that's how some people think. Deal with it - to each their own. I know you're probably tired of being judged for what you do, and I get it. But it's kinda silly for you to be judgmental when you're exhibiting precisely the same behaviour. Sigh, reading. Dancing was so long ago; 16 years ago. I so far haven't been made to wear a sign over it so no, not tired of anyone's judgement. My spouses parents were a hoot over it though. "what should we tell people when they ask what you do?" "Whatever makes you feel better about YOURSELVES I suppose." What I'm trying to get across to people is that its just a body. Its your mind that perverts it. Its your fear that assigns further behavior with no evidence. We are in the flux between rational thought about the body - it appears in art and appreciated. It is studied medically without a pornographic element. But the moment a person shows their body, rational thought disappears and people act like they own it and some offense has been made. Religious shame. Spin the globe and you will find people walking around with their entire upper body exposed and their hacked up genitalia still hidden in the name of propriety. Or elsewhere if their hair and face shows, they should be punished or sexually assaulted. Its not the body's offense. Its the reaction that is offensive and YOU own your reaction. Whats more offensive? Some titties or ugly words accusing someone of acts they haven't performed? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Are you sure they are really the girl in the photo.. IME if the girl has topless photos up , then it is a phoney profile and not really her.. most likely a college student writing a paper on the effects of nude profile pictures on responses from guys.. or some shiot. Maybe even just a person killing time on Friday night making up stuff for enjoyment. There are web pages like AFF that people put up nudes but that website isn't really for dating so if a person really has topless pics up then I would say they aren't interested in dating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 What i'm getting at is ... where the hell is their modesty ? You put stuff on the internet, it remains there. On FB and one of your contacts..... they are most likely young and drunk.. the part that gets them in trouble is when you mentioned they are there forever.. then they go try and get a job and get googled and you see exactly what you are hiring.. It happens a bunch.. Arrest records are kinda the same way today... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Radu Posted August 18, 2012 Author Share Posted August 18, 2012 On FB and one of your contacts..... they are most likely young and drunk.. the part that gets them in trouble is when you mentioned they are there forever.. then they go try and get a job and get googled and you see exactly what you are hiring.. It happens a bunch.. Arrest records are kinda the same way today... That too but i was referring to one of the old rules of the Internet, what is put on the Internet, cannot be removed [in reference to pics]. Someone will save it somewhere, like that teenager from Argentina who got her photo site account hacked and every pic she had torrented half a yr ago [maybe she was from another country]. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 . Whats more offensive? Some titties or ugly words accusing someone of acts they haven't performed? Someone's titties splashed everywhere for people to see. If they want to be offended because I think they are trash and a skank they can. I don't care if my opinon offends them. They should at least have a little more self respect than that. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Am i the only one who cannot see as a serious LTR prospect, a girl who puts up a topless picture of herself on the net ? Doesn't matter if it's FB, Google+, or any online dating site. Is flashing the entire country the new thing for dating ? PS: Pls no off-topic discussions. How would you feel about Moira Johnston then??? Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 (edited) How would you feel about Moira Johnston then??? Thanks, I looked her up, it's really interesting. She makes some good points. I wouldn't have the guts myself, no matter how hot it is. Edited August 19, 2012 by Titania22 spelling Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Someone's titties splashed everywhere for people to see. If they want to be offended because I think they are trash and a skank they can. I don't care if my opinon offends them. They should at least have a little more self respect than that. You're right; everyone gets to have an opinion. And it isn't so much offensive that you'd have that opinion as it is that the appearance of titties compels you to want to look down on others. Its odd for you to be that way when you can barely handle what people think about you not wanting kids. But it would help if you could define what behavior a "trash" or a "skank" has to do to be trashy or skanky? I was always under the impression that those words applied to a person who utilized dishonesty in order to sleep around indiscriminately. I was not aware that a person had to be a woman or need only take material off of what half the world possesses to become a trashy skank. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 How would you feel about Moira Johnston then??? Ew...I find her breasts gross. Id like her to cover up just like Id want hairy guys with moobs to cover up. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 You're right; everyone gets to have an opinion. And it isn't so much offensive that you'd have that opinion as it is that the appearance of titties compels you to want to look down on others. Its odd for you to be that way when you can barely handle what people think about you not wanting kids. But it would help if you could define what behavior a "trash" or a "skank" has to do to be trashy or skanky? I was always under the impression that those words applied to a person who utilized dishonesty in order to sleep around indiscriminately. I was not aware that a person had to be a woman or need only take material off of what half the world possesses to become a trashy skank. Sees there's a difference though. I just say I don't want kids, and some chick taking naked pictures is an action where they are showing that they are a trashy person. To me a skanky person gets naked for anyone and has no self respect. These woman wonder why people view them this way. Well it's because any decent chick won't take her clothes off for random strangers 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Ew...I find her breasts gross. Id like her to cover up just like Id want hairy guys with moobs to cover up. I actually really like her confidence. Her chest doesn't fit the attractiveness that the society expects but it's very natural for a lot of women. Having non-perky breasts is not due to being fat and lazy and happens to almost all women at one point or age in their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 (edited) I actually really like her confidence. Her chest doesn't fit the attractiveness that the society expects but it's very natural for a lot of women. Having non-perky breasts is not due to being fat and lazy and happens to almost all women at one point or age in their lives. I just dont like her body at all. The shape of it all does nothing for me. Its not just her breasts...its her arms and stomach too. She could fix that in the gym. I sound judgmental but Id say the same thing about a dude sporting love handles and moobs walking around shirtless around the city. Some people have a sexy shape naturally (*cough* hint ), and some dont...like that chick Sure she is confident...but she isnt changing the fact that female breasts are sexual things...and thus dont have a place out and about. At least not in our society for now. Edited August 19, 2012 by kaylan Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I just dont like her body at all. The shape of it all does nothing for me. Its not just her breasts...its her arms and stomach too. She could fix that in the gym. I sound judgmental but Id say the same thing about a dude sporting love handles and moobs walking around shirtless around the city. Sure she is confident...but she isnt changing the fact that female breasts are sexual things...and thus dont have a place out and about. At least not in our society for now. You might not like someone's face. Doesn't mean they should cover their face. Everything is "sexual thing" nowadays and people still show it. Hell when I go out I see half of girls's asses in their short shorts but you don't see men objecting to that. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 You might not like someone's face. Doesn't mean they should cover their face. Everything is "sexual thing" nowadays and people still show it. Hell when I go out I see half of girls's asses in their short shorts but you don't see men objecting to that. I saw half of a chick's butt crack at Walmart earlier and I was in complete objection! I would have said something but her boyfriend looked like he wasn't opposed to doing time. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 You might not like someone's face. Doesn't mean they should cover their face. Everything is "sexual thing" nowadays and people still show it. Hell when I go out I see half of girls's asses in their short shorts but you don't see men objecting to that. Ok...then I guess I can walk around naked and not get in trouble. Ill just tell people "i dont care if you dont like it...I shouldnt have to cover it" Look no one has to cover their torso...but Id rather not see something thats rather repelling. And dont act like you wouldnt recoil if some fat hairy dude with moobs was walking in your vicinity on the sidewalk. And I dont want to see girls asses hanging out of their short shorts...most girls who do that dont even have the body to be showing off. I wont tell them to cover up...but I will be face palming about it. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Sees there's a difference though. I just say I don't want kids, and some chick taking naked pictures is an action where they are showing that they are a trashy person. To me a skanky person gets naked for anyone and has no self respect. These woman wonder why people view them this way. Well it's because any decent chick won't take her clothes off for random strangers I can't imagine you ever being good at logic. - Why is it skanky and bad if a woman shows her breasts - Because it's trashy. - Why is it trashy? - Because no decent woman with self-respect would do it. - But WHY do you think no decent woman with self-respect should do it? How are these related? - Because it's a bad thing to do - Why bad? - Because it is trashy? I guess ALL I'm asking people here is to overthink their "strong" views about this subject or any other for that matter. There were times (and hell still is!) that people objected the same way to interracial dating, homosexuality or even simpler things like races/sexes having the same equal human rights and now to a lot of us they sound like a no-brainer. Maybe I'm just too liberal for a forum full of Americans. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts