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Ladies, The Strangest Things Men Have Said To You

Disenchantedly Yours

By Disenchantedly Yours,
in General Relationship Discussion

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Robert Z

Robert Z

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Posted

When I first started to venture out I went to a strip club and quickly got to be buddies with quite a few of the dancers. I was sitting and talking with one when she she had to go do her routine. When she got back, I looked at her and said in all honesty that of all the girls here, she's the only one that gives me an erection just watching her dance. I didn't expect her to blush! She lol'd and said she was surprised to find herself feeling flattered. :lmao:

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venusianx13

venusianx13

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Years ago a prospective suitor kept asking me things about my feet. Do I paint my toenails? What color were they? Did I wear toe rings or ankle bracelets? Could I wear sandals for him on our date? Weird. But, I kept talking to him. Finally, on the day we were to meet up, he was so worked up over the thought of my feet, that he asked if I wouldn't mind giving him a foot job?!!!! I dropped him then and there. I told him he was a really nice young man, but that his fetish was just too weird for me (it was more than a fetish - he had a true fixation on feet). :lmao: Poor guy... I hope he learned to control it.

 

Another man who appeared to be following me around the supermarket finally came up to me and said, "Sweetheart, you have the sexiest walk I have ever seen. The way your butt moves..." I smiled and thanked him, and carried on shopping. Later, he got behind me at check-out and when the cashier called him over to her vacant line next to the one we were in, he said, "No thanks, I'm fine right where I am." HAHA... yeesh.

 

I'm sure there's more, I just can't recall at the moment.

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Pompom

Pompom

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Last night: "Here, I got a present for you; you know what C-4 is? This is. Take this, and next time your neighbor annoys you with his loud music, throw it through his window. But take into account the position of his apartment in relation to yours as the blast may affect your place as well. If this doesn't kill him, give me a call, I got a few rounds to spare. Hey, could you beat up my ex for me?"

 

How chivalrous :laugh:

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Robert Z

Robert Z

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Last night: "Here, I got a present for you; you know what C-4 is? This is. Take this, and next time your neighbor annoys you with his loud music, throw it through his window. But take into account the position of his apartment in relation to yours as the blast may affect your place as well. If this doesn't kill him, give me a call, I got a few rounds to spare. Hey, could you beat up my ex for me?"

 

How chivalrous :laugh:

 

Holy crap! What did you say?

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Pompom

Pompom

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That as long as I'm not personally and extremely pissed off, I will not beat anyone up.

 

We blew the C-4 on a strip of wasteland though. I was kinda thinking it was just fireworks until the last moment. I just looked at a few C-4 detonations, and yup, that was the real deal.... Dude, if he knew how I am on PMS, he would not have given me that...

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Robert Z

Robert Z

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.... Dude, if he knew how I am on PMS, he would not have given me that...

 

Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw once. "I have PMS and a gun. Any questions?"

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Million.to.1

Million.to.1

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Guys say strange sh-t to me all the time. :rolleyes:

 

Keeping with fairy tale theme, I went on one date with a guy last year and I tried to make myself go out with him again even though I wasn't feeling it (to see if I'd start feeling it), but his texts were so weird that I had to stop talking to him. He texted me a nice beach picture from his weekend and told me a dragon took the picture. Then he started talking about hanging out with the dragon, and went into detail about what they did together. :confused: It made no sense and wasn't funny/cute/witty. This was a professional, 37 year old man who didn't do drugs.

 

I ran into him several months ago and he asked why I didn't want to go out with him again.

 

 

You should've said you didn't want to come between him and his Dragon.

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sooniechan

sooniechan

Posted
Posted (edited)

"So, you're black and asian?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm not really into hip hop culture." I have no idea where that came from really.

"Umm, okay?"

"Well, nevermind, I don't want STDs. Bye." As he gives me an article about STDs.

 

More on the side of rude than strange, but yeah. haha.

Edited by sooniechan
typo
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Million.to.1

Million.to.1

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Posted

While chatting in the car with my ex once while we were together, He mentioned a celeb he thought was hot. I said to him.. 'You have a bit of a thing for ethnic girls don't you?" (i'm white)

He said "yeah, well their skin is just so smooth and soft it's incredible. And girls with darker skin have much more attractive vaginas, it just all blends together so nicely and the contours just look better, and bla bla bla bla.." - He went on about it for about 3 minutes.

 

I was honestly, completely floored. What an idiot.

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Robert Z

Robert Z

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PMS landed me in jail once.

 

Oh no! Care to elaborate?

 

My ex had PMS pretty bad... it lasted about 4 weeks each month.

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Robert Z

Robert Z

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"So, you're black and asian?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm not really into hip hop culture." I have no idea where that came from really.

"Umm, okay?"

"Well, nevermind, I don't want STDs. Bye." As he gives me an article about STDs.

 

More on the side of rude than strange, but yeah. haha.

 

Either this guy wasn't playing with a full deck or he had an agenda.

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Sunfire73

Sunfire73

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Here's what I get from OKC, his first message:

 

I wear really tight jeans and my home smells of rich mohogany and vanilla candles.

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Pompom

Pompom

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Posted

Facebook chat with a cute guy.

 

Him, 2am: "Have you ever slept with a silk worm?"

Me: "....No? I'm more into men, really. You?"

Him: "Women."

Me: "Egh, nah, there's nothing like a good ole prick." (I decided to hit on him aggressively now)

Him: "What's a prick?"

:confused:

Me: "Look down."

Him: "What would you do with it?"

Me: "Let's find out."

Him: "Would you cut it off?"

Me: "Nooo."

Him: "Then what?"

Me: "Come find out. My NCIS episode has finished downloading, bye."

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Disenchantedly Yours

Disenchantedly Yours

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'I'll tell you want, if you call me back like you said you would, I won't go to a strip club." :laugh: .... But I kind of deserved it.

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Pompom

Pompom

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Posted

On the phone, me being at the Gaza Strip border, missiles and artillery fire buzzing and booming all around. Literally having a blast when my crush calls as he does a lot lately. So at some point this happens:

Him: "You're the type of woman who will take whatever she wants, huh?"

Me: "Nah, there's a line I won't cross. Like, no matter how much I want a man, I'd never rape him." *bait strewn*

Him: "You can rape me if you like." *bait taken*

Me: "But if you offer it, it's not rape."

Him: "I can still pretend, if you want."

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aussietigerwolf

aussietigerwolf

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Posted

I was waiting for the bus and some random guy comes up to me and says " you'd be pretty if you lost weight" I'm a petite person so that comment was just weird...

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MrCastle

MrCastle

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Another man who appeared to be following me around the supermarket finally came up to me and said, "Sweetheart, you have the sexiest walk I have ever seen. The way your butt moves..." I smiled and thanked him, and carried on shopping. Later, he got behind me at check-out and when the cashier called him over to her vacant line next to the one we were in, he said, "No thanks, I'm fine right where I am." HAHA... yeesh.

 

I'm sure there's more, I just can't recall at the moment.

 

Sorry about that but I really did like what I saw.

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charlietheginger

charlietheginger

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huh? I get compliments on my teeth all the time. What's wrong with that?

 

 

I told a chick "you got purdy mouth i like that shade

Of lipstick "

As she walked past me in a sportsbar

 

She said."wtf is that guy thats the worst line i ever

Heard "

 

I luaghed she looked scared... I said look in the mirror

Her lipstick was smeared across her face like

The darknight joker...

She hugged a guy he was drunk his arm

Crossed her face smeared herlipstick..

Lipstick streaked from her lips to her ear

On one side...

 

She went to the bathroom came back luaghing

And said thanks her lipstick fixed...

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charlietheginger

charlietheginger

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Posted

A lady was at McDonalds she has toilet paper

Stuck to her butt with poop smear on the paper

I told her you have a nice butt its nice

That you keep it clean...

 

She looked at me like wtf did you say...

I said your butt take a look you have something

On it...

 

She looked back grabbed the tissue ...

Shook her head and ran to the bathroom

 

Fixed her attire

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2sure

2sure

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Posted

I had a guy invite me to dinner at his apartment for our 3rd date.

I liked him, but knew it wasn't gong anywhere and wondered if I should have sex with him.

 

I knocked, he opened the door and said: Here she is Mom and Dad!

 

They had flown in from Australia to meet me.

 

I solved the problem by getting drunk and hitting on his dad.

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