Is It The End?

[youaretheone]

I will be vary of giving specific country names here in case my girlfriend might be reading these forums.

 

She and I are both studying in the same country in Europe, which we are not a citizen of. Our relationship is 1.5 years old, last 6 months being long distance, because of my exchange program.

 

All during this time, we made plans about the future. We talked about how we want to live in Europe and build a family there. Of course, these would come true in the most ideal conditions. We were both impatiently waiting for the moment I would come back and we would start living together for the first time.

 

Now, it turns out that if she fails her final exams next week (which is likely to happen), she will be kicked out of school and out of the country. She will have to go back to her home country, which is not very close to here.

 

On my side, I am a successful student and I am almost sure that I will be able to find a job easily in Europe (I am already getting some job offers.). Before I applied for my studies abroad, I have always dreamt about living in a country with higher living standards and an innovative job environment, and I can say that my dream is coming true right now.

 

I have never considered finding a job in her home country because I visited there before and have seen that the quality of life is not any better than my home country. We both agreed that we do not want our kids to grow up in a country like ours.

 

Of course, she was not in the equation yet when I was working towards my dreams and applying for studies abroad.

 

Now, I feel very confused and undecided. I am left with three options if she fails her exams:

 

1) Find a job in her home country and build a life there.

2) Make another long distance relationship and expect her to find a job in Europe, at a place in which I can also find a job in. (Which is much more difficult than the first one)

3) End the relationship.

 

I do not want to go anywhere near option 3 because I want her next to me for the rest of my life. On the other side, I have to abandon my life long dream coming true if I decide to leave with her. This is a very tough decision for me.

 

In the end, I will be the one making this decision (hopefully I won't have to but if I do) and I would like to talk to some of the people here about their guidance and experiences.

 

***There are also lessons learnt from my father moving away with my mother and leaving his dream job, later regretting it a lot after divorcing my mother and ending a very hopeless marriage, which makes me even more stressed.***

Edited August 17, 2012 by youaretheone

[justwhoiam]

I think you didn't consider all the options.

 

Assuming she fails the exam, can't she apply somewhere else? Or even, she might be forced to go back home and then reapply for a visa for study purpose. And she would be back there with you in a few months.

 

If nothing of that works, you can marry her and she can stay there with you, and you start your dream job. I know that getting married is an important step, but it sounds like you're pretty sure that she's the one, and it's not that you've been knowing one another for 2 months. You can get married legally so that she can stay with you. Then she can go back to school/college or start working.