break Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Hi, we live together,i don't love him like i do before, because he betrayed me and treat me after that realy bad. at that time i coudn't break up the relationship, because it realy comes all of the sudden to me. but now i can realize things very cool, so i can understand he just went to another woman, because he didn't get enough from me and i think he doesn't love me as he did before. but now after everything happened he wants to be with me telling me that he loves me and he wants to try with me,and he said he really sorry for what happened. but me internally i had finished the relationship, but i can't bring it out. you know both of us after his one night affair happens we spent really very hard and terrible time just argus and... so we were mentally so tired and we start just now to recover and i can't break up the rs right now and having the same her and there with him. but i want to leave him, i don't know waht to do please help i want to have it a nice end but i don't know why?? i think trying with him agein is just waiting time, i think i will never forget and forgive him what he did to me. i tried to forgive him but inside in my heart even i'm not that much near to forgive him. i can't i don't know why?? you know to have affair is not maybe a big deal for the others but for me i don't know why ?? he is telling me i'm just taking a bath in it so i really don't know what to do??? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 Having an affair is a big thing and don't put yourself down for not being able to get over it. I really don't know what the statistics are but I don't think a whole lot of people have very good relationships with each other after such a betrayal. You say you want to leave him in a nice way. Just give him a hug, tell him exactly how you feel, and wave goodbye. When he cheated on you, he did not take your feelings into consideration. You are taking the high road by leaving him on good terms. Just don't go out of your way to worry about his feelings because he obviously doesn't care about yours. I know you are hurting and this may take a while for you to get over, but that will happen. There are just some men who will cheat regardless of how well their lady treats them. It's sad. You will get through all of this OK, I promise. In time you will have a new life and you will meet someone who will respect you and his relationship with you and who will be loyal to you. I do have a suspicion you are too nice to your guys. That's good, but just don't be too nice. Let them work to make you happy as well. I'm very proud of you for sticking up for yourself and your feelings here and getting out of a situation that is unpleasant for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted October 25, 2000 Share Posted October 25, 2000 You can tell him that you simply can't get past what he did. You can say you wish him well for his future and go your own way. You can stay calm and ladylike throughout, so you won't regret anything later. Having an affair is a big thing and don't put yourself down for not being able to get over it. I really don't know what the statistics are but I don't think a whole lot of people have very good relationships with each other after such a betrayal. You say you want to leave him in a nice way. Just give him a hug, tell him exactly how you feel, and wave goodbye. When he cheated on you, he did not take your feelings into consideration. You are taking the high road by leaving him on good terms. Just don't go out of your way to worry about his feelings because he obviously doesn't care about yours. I know you are hurting and this may take a while for you to get over, but that will happen. There are just some men who will cheat regardless of how well their lady treats them. It's sad. You will get through all of this OK, I promise. In time you will have a new life and you will meet someone who will respect you and his relationship with you and who will be loyal to you. I do have a suspicion you are too nice to your guys. That's good, but just don't be too nice. Let them work to make you happy as well. I'm very proud of you for sticking up for yourself and your feelings here and getting out of a situation that is unpleasant for you. Link to post Share on other sites
backup Posted October 30, 2000 Share Posted October 30, 2000 You can tell him that you simply can't get past what he did. You can say you wish him well for his future and go your own way. You can stay calm and ladylike throughout, so you won't regret anything later. I concure with the advise you have received. I was once very much in luv with a guy, who cheated on me . I forgave him once, he did it again, I forgave him again. He will not stop once started and guess what. After along time between I dated a really nice guy who had problems, but as far as I know was never unfaithful. We broke up this week because I still am unable to trust a partner. Don't stay with him, there is a lot of heartache you can save yourself. And beware for a year he may not cheat from feeling his guilt, but you will always question his truths, was he really delayed in traffic? and so on. Take a deep breath, have a good grieving cry for your hurt and pain, then leave and don't look back. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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