Why can't I finish this relationship?

[supman]

I've been with a woman for 9 years and have been having very strong feelings recently that i want out. I've had less intense feelings like this for ages now but something is stopping me from doing what i think needs to be done.

 

a few factors: when we first got together, after a few weeks she told me she had psychological issues ie.depression. i was like 'you'll be fine, ill sort you out!'. She always used to say when she was feeling really down, "you're the best thing in my life", and once even said she'd commit suicide if i left her. Things have always been a bit ropey, and i was always optimistic (naive) that things would get better. Sex life is rubbish , always has been, possibly always will be. I don't feel a spark anymore, i feel like i've lost respect for her, and i don't feel like we have trust, i could go on and on yet still i'm with her and have not got the courage to even to bring up any issues.

When I have said things it always ends in tears where i have to console her and then we forget about it. It's really difficult and i don't know what to do. I feel like i'm watching myself waste my life (i maybe already have for 9 years), i know it's my fault, and i know i'm a coward but somehow i have to get things back on track. i'm such a damn softy!

 

Any advice!?

[jenk]

I'm in a very similar situation. I have always had a problem with hurting anyone so I continue on and allow myself to suffer.

 

I'm in the same boat as you so I really don't have any advice. I'm lost myself. Just wanted to let you know I understand where you're coming from.

[supman]

thanks, jenk, it does help to know there's someone who understands where i'm coming from....

[flip]

I'm also in similar situation.

 

i have a 10 year relationship and 2 children.

I have been in torment for at least 5 years, yearning to leave.

 

I finaly plucked up the courage to say the love was gone and i wanted out, but i got a lot of tears and begging and i decided to stay - 2 months on and i said it again -the love was still gone and i wanted out, but again i couldn't get past the tear stage and i crumbled.

 

Here i still am, i have now met someone else and want out so bad but i just can't bear the thought of hurting someone and ruining there life, but hey, hold on a minute. Am i prepared to ruin mine? NO.

 

What can we do?

 

live the wrong life cos we don't want to hurt someones feelings or be upfront and get it over and done with.

 

if your anything like me (and you are!) you'll plod along and pretty soon the whole household will be miserable snappy and much much worse (ive been thru many stages of this)

 

every time you go to say something, it's the wrong time, nothing comes out, there being really nice to you.

 

lets make a pact, if we don't get the inevitable over and done with before september comes and goes, we might as well put up and shut up for THE REST OF OUR LIVING DAYS. Come on LETS BE BRAVE, WE OWE IT TO OUR SOUL AND THERES.