"I was never attracted to anyone in my group"

[irc333]

I hear this a lot. Was speaking with this woman, she has quite a large circle of friends, but has a policy of not dating men in that same social circle.

 

Ie - her mtn biking group, camping group, Polish Society group and soon.

 

Why?

 

She as of YET to meet a woman she'd have any interest in dating IN said group NONE of them have gave her the kind of chemistry that SHE is looking for.

 

Though, Chemistry" is something that's over as soon as it's started, but.....anyone here among a SEA of available singles, NONE you would consider dating?

 

Are you currently among plenty of single people, but you are just too darned PICKY to consider even one of them?

 

She actually told me 1 in a 1000 men had actually been able to create chemistry?

 

If so, does she represent a good amount of women in US or the WOrld?

[Greznog]

There are two groups of men in the eyes of women, those they sleep with and those they befriend.

[gaius]

I've heard estimates that 20-30% of the population has issues with physical intimacy. That's almost 1 in 3. So there are a lot of people out there pretending they want a sexual partner when they really don't. Even a few floating around here.

[Badsingularity]

Most men don't know how to create chemistry.

 

It's not that women are always just consciously over picky.

 

They just don't feel attraction for many men.

[ThaWholigan]

Most men don't know how to create chemistry.

 

It's not that women are always just consciously over picky.

 

They just don't feel attraction for many men.

This. All of this is 100% on the money IMO.

[irc333]

Most men don't know how to create chemistry.

 

It's not that women are always just consciously over picky.

 

They just don't feel attraction for many men.

 

It's mostly the middle. Women have unrealistic expectations. Men don't need to "create chemistry".

 

If anything, they are probably attracted, but are thinking "I could do even better".

[irc333]

I've heard estimates that 20-30% of the population has issues with physical intimacy. That's almost 1 in 3. So there are a lot of people out there pretending they want a sexual partner when they really don't. Even a few floating around here.

 

Not even sure what this even has to do with the post.

[xxoo]

It's mostly the middle. Women have unrealistic expectations. Men don't need to "create chemistry".

 

If anything, they are probably attracted, but are thinking "I could do even better".

 

No, if they are attracted, they want the guy! Women do want sex when they are attracted.

 

And chemistry is not limited to the honeymoon period. Chemistry not the same thing as new relationship hormones and lust. I wouldn't be interested in sex with a person if there was no chemistry. It would eventually be a sexless relationship, even if I really liked the guy. No good.

[Badsingularity]

Women have unrealistic expectations.

 

If anything, they are probably attracted, but are thinking "I could do even better".

 

There are some women that do have unrealistic expectations, but like I said many times it's just that they don't feel chemistry with many men.

 

Men should learn how to create chemistry with women.

 

If a man does this he will have some of those women that say they are not attracted to any guys they know suddenly attracted to him.

[ThaWholigan]

There are some women that do have unrealistic expectations, but like I said many times it's just that they don't feel chemistry with many men.

 

Men should learn how to create chemistry with women.

 

If a man does this he will have some of those women that say they are not attracted to any guys they know suddenly attracted to him.

 

Again, 100%

 

It's a little ignorant to say that men don't "need" to create chemistry. If the ingredients are there, of course you need to do it, otherwise you will find it hard to truly connect with a woman in such a way that will make her intrigued by you, thus attracted to you. The curiosity, the sexual tension, the anticipation etc. These are all things that one can create, especially if there is at least a base level of intrigue.

 

This I feel is one of the reasons why men find it hard to attract and keep women - even some of the good looking ones who find it difficult to maintain relationships. They can get in them easy, because they look good, but it never lasts.

[todreaminblue]

I hear this a lot. Was speaking with this woman, she has quite a large circle of friends, but has a policy of not dating men in that same social circle.

 

Ie - her mtn biking group, camping group, Polish Society group and soon.

 

Why?

 

She as of YET to meet a woman she'd have any interest in dating IN said group NONE of them have gave her the kind of chemistry that SHE is looking for.

 

Though, Chemistry" is something that's over as soon as it's started, but.....anyone here among a SEA of available singles, NONE you would consider dating?

 

Are you currently among plenty of single people, but you are just too darned PICKY to consider even one of them?

 

She actually told me 1 in a 1000 men had actually been able to create chemistry?

 

If so, does she represent a good amount of women in US or the WOrld?

 

 

I have male friends but chemistry isn't my issue its wanting to connect on a deeper level that i feel they have a more spiritual connection and intelligence I have been out with a good looking guy we did not mesh on an intellectual or spiritual level he did not give me what i needed i gave him what he needed for nearly 16 years.....the friends i have now and had back then who were men did not have a deeper connection with me i was someone they could talk to freely but i have not had the same desire to share my secrets or true feelings so i dotn knwo if that is chemistry in the modern day.....i just confused myself writing this so i will leave you with this post and see if you can see what i mean.....no....i dont find chemistry with a large group of male friends past or present....i have cleaned house and dwindled my male friend list as i have moved alot...and i am fine with that..deb

[irc333]

Men should learn how to create chemistry with women.

 

 

No, they should not.

[ThaWholigan]

No, they should not.

If they aren't attracting any women, then yes, they should.

[Badsingularity]

No, they should not.

 

Why not?

 

I did and the number of women who have been attracted to me skyrocketed and my wife wants to do me on a daily basis.

 

I am also a better man for it.

 

If you look at some of my older posts you'd see what it takes to create chemistry with many women.

 

 

It's about inner strength, confidence, self-assuredness, charisma, leader ship and other things that I've posted about before.

[irc333]

This I feel is one of the reasons why men find it hard to attract and keep women - even some of the good looking ones who find it difficult to maintain relationships. They can get in them easy, because they look good, but it never lasts.

 

Of course it never lasts. "Till Death Do Us Part" is nothing but a pipe dream these days.

 

So you're saying, divorce rates are so high, due to the fact husbands could not "create" attraction to keep their wives from leaving that Dear John letter?

[ThaWholigan]

Of course it never lasts. "Till Death Do Us Part" is nothing but a pipe dream these days.

 

So you're saying, divorce rates are so high, due to the fact husbands could not "create" attraction to keep their wives from leaving that Dear John letter?

 

Read below:

 

Why not?

 

I did and the number of women who have been attracted to me skyrocketed and my wife wants to do me on a daily basis.

 

I am also a better man for it.

 

If you look at some of my older posts you'd see what it takes to create chemistry with many women.

 

 

It's about inner strength, confidence, self-assuredness, charisma, leader ship and other things that I've posted about before.

 

^^^^^

This is what most guys should be aiming towards.

 

Now, divorce rates could be high for any number of varied reasons, but I can venture to state that most relationships that fizzle out in terms of sex, rapport and closeness can be attributed to men not being able to appropriately handle the cyclical nature of women's attraction to them, as well as the nature of relationships.

 

It's also not about manipulation in a negative sense, it's about being able to ignite the spark between you and a woman where there could easily be something between you. That's the way I see it.

[irc333]

If they aren't attracting any women, then yes, they should.

 

No, I am resolved in the fact that I'll just continue to approach women that accept me for who I am currently, how my personality is, and so on. I may bet many rejections, but I'll eventually "click" with a woman that I'm on the same page with.

 

I have had women I had attraction with, and it was mutual before, but I would not date them due to serious baggage issues.

 

Creating attraction is pretty much jumping through hoops to get a woman. You're putting it on the MAN in order to cater to every woman's needs.

 

I forgo women who say, "I'm looking for a man that can keep me interested"....there's a recipe for disaster there , and I shy away from those types.

 

I'm not a court gesture nor a event planner to keep a woman entertained 24/7.

[kaylan]

Chemistry doesnt need to be created by the guy if the girl is attracted to him initially. Shell go out of her way to create chemistry herself. This is yet another overthinking thread that places attraction solely as the fault of the guy if it happens or not.

 

Either a man or woman are attracted to each other or they arent. If theres no attraction there will be no chemistry. And if the girl is attracted, the guy can be a goofball but still get her if she feels strongly about him initially.

[irc333]

. That's the way I see it.

 

I don't, and...I never will....we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

This is yet another overthinking thread that places attraction solely as the fault of the guy if it happens or not

 

Very VERY good point,Kaylan, glad someone sees is it this way.

[ThaWholigan]

Chemistry doesnt need to be created by the guy if the girl is attracted to him initially. Shell go out of her way to create chemistry herself. This is yet another overthinking thread that places attraction solely as the fault of the guy if it happens or not.

 

I sort of disagree. That initial attraction can fizzle out if the guy messes it up. It's happened to me before many times. I do believe there has to be a base level of intrigue on both sides, but in my opinion, a guy still has to know how to at least keep that spark alight, even if she ignites it.

 

I used to look at it like irc33 for a bit, that didn't work for me. When I started to understand how to create chemistry and other such stuff, I realized how beneficial it would be in finding someone that I am actually attracted to. So far, it's been far better for me as a result, as even when girls have created the chemistry I have been able to at least carry it on recently.

 

Either a man or woman are attracted to each other or they arent. If theres no attraction there will be no chemistry. And if the girl is attracted, the guy can be a goofball but still get her if she feels strongly about him initially.

 

I agree with this though. But I still feel there has to be an intrinsic understanding of attraction, otherwise it will fall flat more often than not, as I have seen it do for myself and lots of other men.

 

At least that's how I feel about it.

[irc333]

I sort of disagree. That initial attraction can fizzle out if the guy messes it up.

 

Again, it goes to the guy, it's always about the guy, messin' it up! Why can't it be about the woman for a change?

[ThaWholigan]

Again, it goes to the guy, it's always about the guy, messin' it up! Why can't it be about the woman for a change?

They often do. There have been times I've completely lost all attraction for a girl over some stupid sh*t that she did. The difference is, a lot of guys probably wouldn't care. Sometimes girls don't care either when guys mess up.

 

The point is, I have messed up attraction when a girl I liked has liked me. Not because we wouldn't have been good, or because there was no chemistry - but because I didn't know how to sustain it or create it at all, and my own ignorance to attraction and how it works failed me.

[xxoo]

I'm not a court gesture nor a event planner to keep a woman entertained 24/7.

 

This has nothing to do with chemistry.

 

Again, it goes to the guy, it's always about the guy, messin' it up! Why can't it be about the woman for a change?

 

If women are unhappy about their situation, they can change.

 

Are you happy about your situation? If so, why do you care what these women do or don't do?

[irc333]

I gave it some thought, but the ONLY way I could think if, literally that someone could "create" attraction.

 

For instance, I know of women who will not date men with beards or ANY kind of facial hair.

 

Shave it all off, boom....attraction created.

 

I have a male friend of mine that won't date red heads, she colors her hair BOOM, she created attraction.

 

That's pretty much the extend of it.

[irc333]

They often do. There have been times I've completely lost all attraction for a girl over some stupid sh*t that she did. The difference is, a lot of guys probably wouldn't care. Sometimes girls don't care either when guys mess up.

 

The point is, I have messed up attraction when a girl I liked has liked me. Not because we wouldn't have been good, or because there was no chemistry - but because I didn't know how to sustain it or create it at all, and my own ignorance to attraction and how it works failed me.

 

It's not up for debate anymore.

 

Agree to disagree. Have a good night.