Gemini02 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Okay here's my deal: You could say my mom has been pretty strict in raising me (my dad left it up to my mom to do the child rearing) I'm 19 now and I've grown up to be a "good girl" I never smoked, I've never tried any drugs. I never drank before I was of age (that's 19 in Canada) and I do that once in awhile. I had 2 boyfriends previously, one lasted 2 days, the other 2 weeks... I barely kissed either of them. I am still a virgin today. I did well in school, didn't party..... Well you got the picture. I had everything done for me, and now that I'm 19 and legally an adult I know I have to start making some choices on my own. The problem is that I can't. Well, I think I can't... Or maybe that's it's just that I don't know how. My mom and I have been close all my life- I told her practically everything growing up. But she has a temper on her, and is very opinionated and I'm now starting to realize that some of my beliefs aren't really MINE, they are hers but she's put them on me. It's bad, I don't even like to buy clothes by myself or with friends because I'm afraid I'll get something she won't like. I want to get my belly button peirced but she doesn't think it's a good idea and doesn't want me to. I feel like I can't make decisions without her voice in my head telling me her version of what is "right" and "wrong" What can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 No, your mother doesn't sound like your mother's running your life. It sounds to me like you aren't wuite ready to start thinking for yourself. If your mother seems to be advising you too much, maybe it's because you have not demonstrated to her the maturity and independance of thought needed for her to begin to regard you as an adult. Your chronological age is not necesarily the same as your mental age. but it does sound as if you are beginning to think independantly and questioning some of the values you've learned. This is what happens when you transition from childhood to adulthood. You start by asking yourself what you want and don't worry about what your mother thinks you should want. You may just find that while mom disagrees with some of your choices, she will repect them as your choices and only offer you advice when she sees you're headed for trouble. Don't ever discount the benefit of her wisdom, but consider it a tool rather than a command. Link to post Share on other sites
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