mysterie_woman1001 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 my parents cought me and my boyfriend having sex in my room. they came back early and didnt park in the garage this time. that is how i usually find out if their home. the doors were recently oiled so i didnt even hear them come in. i might not do it again till i move out or i turn 18!!!what do i do. it was last night. they sent me to my room and ive been here ever since. any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_19742004 Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 You should mention to them that punishing teenagers for sex drives it further underground-instead of yelling, they should use this opportunity to teach you about birth control and safe sex, and all that other important stuff you'll need to deal with in your lifetime. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 15, 2004 Share Posted July 15, 2004 Unless you're 12, and he's 35. Then I retract my post. Link to post Share on other sites
kizmet74 Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Originally posted by Mr Spock You should mention to them that punishing teenagers for sex drives it further underground-instead of yelling, they should use this opportunity to teach you about birth control and safe sex, and all that other important stuff you'll need to deal with in your lifetime. I agree 110%. Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi29f Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Let me tell you what my mom did to me when she found out I lost my virginity. I was almost 17 years old & I went to stay the night at a friends house, we walked to my boyfriends house b/c he only lived right down the road & his parents weren't home & we ended up having sex for the first time. About a week later my mom decided she wanted to read my diary & she found out. She met me at the end of the driveway when I got off the bus & took me over to my grandmothers house & didn't say a word to me the whole way. When we got to my grandmothers she took out my diary & said do you have anything to tell me?? I ssid no, then she opened it & read 3 pages of every detail that happened that night, I mean every detail. I was so embarrised, then my grandmother said "why didn't you get paid for it, at least whores get paid" They pretty much made me feel like I was about an inch tall. Then I wasn't allowed to go any where for like a month, so I know what your going through. You just have to try to talk to your parents, how old are you? Ask your mom to put you on birth control since she knows your having sex. Your dad will be alittle tougher b/c you his baby girl, but just try to talk to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 What a complete and total violation of your privacy. I would have never forgotten that. It's also a good reason not to keep a diary. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Are any of you parents? We are hearing a child's view of what happened. We don't know what happened, except that a child, living with her parents, had sex in her room with another child (hopefully it wasn't an adult male). If I had been your mother, you would not have access to the internet right now either. Her parents are probably discussing this now, and/or are still trying to get over their own shock. They trusted their child and thier child disappointed them. mysterie_woman1001, instead of looking for people to support your views, and give you words of enablement--why not think about the things that your parents taught you. Why do you think this was a disappointment to them? Why do you think it was right for you to do this? If you think it is okay for you to be having sex, why? Do you think you used poor judgement in having sex and/or in the location you chose? What, if any, kind of morality or religious tenets do your parents advocate? Do you follow them? Why? Why not? Think about all of this stuff so that you can have an intelligent conversation with your parents about this. Trust me, it's not easy when parents find out their CHILDREN are sexually active. It's difficult enough sometimes when parents acknowledge that their ADULT offspring are sexually active---usually not under the parents roof! Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 You must have wanted your parents to catch you. You had sex with your b/f in their house! Are you nuts? The LAST place you take "risks" is at home and by the way.....you must be rather young for your mother to march you over to your grandmother's place. Yes folks, I think we have a young lady here who made a HUGE mistake! I am certain that you won't do it again but........you are going to have to take your punishment "like a man" and for goodness sakes don't do anything like that again or you may not be so lucky as to have a roof over your head. Think about it. Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Why should she be "punished"? I am simply trying to give her something intelligent she can say to her parents when they're freaking out. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 As a parent of 3 Boys and 2 girls and seeing this thread, I have to say that I would probably go ballistic myself. Yes, we have a young one here that's made a HUGE mistake. You know what? Maybe it's actually the parents fault by the way they raised her. We've gathered your under the age of eighteen, how old are you? It's terrible to say this, but I think that a lot of today's youth's problems are directly derived by the way the parents raised them in the first place. Anymore, you have to look at the entire picture to put it in focus. In case noone has told you, sex before marriage is looked down upon by the majority of moral people. If you were raised to believe it's ok, then it's really not your fault, but, if you were and you knew what the reaction was going to be.....you shouldn't of had anything to do with it until you're out on your own. You'll have to take your medicine for this screw up.....but please, PLEASE let it be a lesson learned. Good Luck Moose Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 The SAME thing happened to me. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was with my first love we hand been together a year and a half and I had already lost my virginity to him. I was 16 he was 17. Well one day he came over and my mom left him and i alone trusting us blindly. So as soon as we hear the car leave we turn on the radio and go at it. !0 mins later my mom comes back because she forgot something and walks in on me and him. She screams closes the door and then opens it a crack and scream you have 60 seconds to put your clothes back on before I walk in there. So she walked in and my zipper had broken and shes like you can at least put your zipper up and I was like its broken lmao Its so funny now but i was in tears and shaking and freaking out. OMG i cried I begged i pleaded. She had a fit kicked him out..let him back in..kicked him out again.. My mom flipped. Then she talked to his dad and he calmed her down.. he told her "what did you expect them to hold hands forever?" So then finally My bf stepped up walked into my mothers room told he really loved me and wasnt just playing with me and that he was sorry for disrespecting her house and it wouldn't happen again (in her house) lol and my mom forgave and then we had a woman to woman talk. She said if I was going to do it i had to be safe so she made an appointment with my gyno for the following week and thankfully everything worked out. But boy was that a trip! I wish I could say we ended up happily ever after but nah the guy ended up cheating on me months later moving away and we broke up. The best thing you can do is prove to your mother your old enough to handle having sex... if you are and talk to her. Don't be scared talk to her as friend. She might be mad for a couple days so I suggest wait till she calms down to talk to her. Don't throw tantrums or hissy fits and if she says you can't see him for a while don't flip. I hope everything works out. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Originally posted by Moose In case noone has told you, sex before marriage is looked down upon by the majority of moral people. Cite a source. I think sex before marriage is looked down upon by the majority of MARRIED people. Times are changing, I've even heard it's possible for women to orgasm nowadays. This punishment might be a deterrent for sex in stupid places, but grounding one for life is not going to deter them from sex. Parents can only shield their children from society for so long, in the end they are going to make choices based on how they feel they should fit into that society, not how they feel "morals" are imposing on their roles. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Sounds to me like a couple of smart parents. Sent her to her room and gave themselves time to calm down and talk about this rationally before they take any action. What we have here who is a little girl who is waiting to have the showdown with mom and dad. There's nothing else in the post. We don't know how mom and dad handled the situation since mysterie_woman1001 hasn't posted a follow up. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 You are right Startingagain! She posted looking for people to feel sorry for her or maybe a few "lines' to throw at her Mom - found she wasn't getting what she wanted from us and.........RAN! Bubbles P.S. Maybe she lost the use of her computer? tee, hee, hee Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I dont think it's funny the poor girl is thinking its the end of the world! I've been there it's horrible the last thing you need is people acting like your parents and rubbing the mistakes in your face instead of helping you and giving you advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I think she was scared!!! Shame on you people. No, I don't advise that ALL teenagers engage in sexual intercourse. I did, because I enjoyed it, and it was the choice for me. Instead of lecturing her on being a kid perhaps you should want to find out IMPORTANT things, like did they use condoms, is she on birth control, is she planning on doing it again and did she ENJOY it. I'd beg to differ. I think sex before marriage is considered NORMAL by the majority of normal people. And no, I don't have a study to back it up. Just a lot of friends that do. Everyone I know. I've only met one couple that was waiting for marriage, and they were highly religious. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Mr. Spock i couldnt agree with you more Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Mr. Spock.........I am giggling because we have all been caught by our parents and maybe some have not but I am certain of one thing. She knew EXACTLY the risk she was taking before she took it. She did not post here inquiring about safe sex. The deed is done! If she cared about safe sex and did not take precaution then it's too late for that now isn't it? I probably sound like a typical Mother here and if I do.....then good! that means I am ready for my own kids to try and "get it on" in my house!!!!!! I will definatly be hurt from the lack of respect for MY house and MY opinions if they do decide to take the chance (again) in MY house! She took a chance - she and her b/f got caught - she will have to take her punishment (like the rest of us did) Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I say again-why should she be punished? And I was pointing out that none of the oh so concerned parents, were intent on ascertaining details like safe sex, repeat performances etc. Just on "doing the crime, doing the time" I fail to understand why anyone would associate sexual intercourse with low standards of parenting. People F*ck. It's life. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Spock, your famous logic is eluding you. I'm not her father and it is not my place to talk to her about safe sex. That's not what she came here for. If she was scared, it's because she knows she broke a major rule. We have no idea of what her parents have told her about sex. And hwo do we know that her fellow wasn't wearing six condoms (teenaged boys often do ffor obvious reasones <wink>). "I dont think it's funny the poor girl is thinking its the end of the world! " EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd, all the adults here know that this isn't the end of the world, and those of us with experience with teenaged girls understand that they can be pretty melodramatic from time to time. Some of us were even caught by our parents at that age. Yet here we are and none the worse for wear. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I think Spock's point was that a poster coming here for help shouldn't be laughed at or made an example of bad parenting or failing social morality. Whatever happened to the benefit of the doubt? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I think my famous logic is eluding you. I'll try again. I am pointing out that A.Sex between consenting parties is NOT a crime. B.Everyone on here seems to be intent on informing this poster that she needs to be punished for bad behaviour, instead of educating her or even ASKING if she practiced safe sex. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Assuming...........she planned it for her b/friend to come over so that they could have sex when her Mom & Dad went out. #1 she is no longer just curious about sex.......she is ready to "do it" #2 most people are "sex educated" by the time they are in grade 3 or at the very latest grade 6 #3 she is obviously not concerned about pregnancy - she did'nt ask #4 she is obviously not concerned about STD's - she didn't ask #5 she is a typical teen-ager who wants to act like an adult while still living under her parents roof and that's not working out for her concerning having sex in her house. As I said the deed is done! She is asking us "what do I do?" as in what do I say to them to get out of a punishment? Do you support her? I do care if she had safe sex or not......but.......that's NOT what she is asking us! Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
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