bro Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 23m here trying to progress with a 30f coworker. We live in Asia so culture might be a bit different. I know how bad office relationships are but lets put all thats negative aside. I started about a month ago and we hit it off fairly well. We often work together at the office; the attraction is clearly there. In group settings, I noticed that her attention was directed at me. We often flirt/joke around and stuff... I can tell she enjoys my presence. A few days ago I asked if she wanted to get spent time with me on the weekend. She was hesitant at first so I asked again the following day. She agreed and we met up yesterday. The "date" went like this: Picked her up, drove around, watched movie, ate dinner. When we was dropping my car off at my apt before the movie she insisted that we check out my place later. I was pretty sure of her intentions and told her sure after dinner. Movie/dinner went well; fun and laughs all around. Afterwards she told me she was tired and I suggested we go back to my place. She agrees. I thought things were gonna turn hot and heavy... lol So at my place I played it cool and sorta expected her to make a move on me since she was older (after reading up on this kinda situation). I made her a drink, we popped in a movie and she proceeded to sit on a chair beside my bed and watch... I sat on the bed and was sorta confused. I figured it was no good trying to force anything so I played it off cool. After the movie I drove her home (her suggestion before the date) She invited me into her place as I dropped her off. At this point I didn't know what to expect as I was pretty thrown off and confused. We went in and just chilled for a bit. I tried to be flirty with her but she sorta brushed it off. I let things go naturally and didn't make a move since I didn't really get the vibe from her. While we were watching this dating show on TV I asked her how I'd fare. She told me if I were 10 years older I'd stand a chance (with her). I got that vibe throughout the night; I felt like she's trying to hold back something. She likes me but the age difference is bothering her. I left on a high note and went home. So guys, how should I proceed? Does she only think of me as a friend or is she waiting for me to make a movie? Whats going on in her head?
darkmoon Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 i am an older woman and i still get come-ons, things might fall into place at work, if there is the vibe of a deep bond up to marriage even ok, but without that? but then it's time to wait and see, she likes you... are you scoring with an older woman or looking for a lasting relationship? it's myth about us all making the first move, all 2
Author bro Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 I don't have a specific type of relationship I'm looking for. I don't mind a purely sexual relationship. Emotions/no emotions doesn't really bother me... I just enjoy her presence as she's very mature and easy to get along with. A relationship could work as long as she's not after marriage or kids.
manup Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 23m here trying to progress with a 30f coworker. We live in Asia so culture might be a bit different. I know how bad office relationships are but lets put all thats negative aside. I started about a month ago and we hit it off fairly well. We often work together at the office; the attraction is clearly there. In group settings, I noticed that her attention was directed at me. We often flirt/joke around and stuff... I can tell she enjoys my presence. A few days ago I asked if she wanted to get spent time with me on the weekend. She was hesitant at first so I asked again the following day. She agreed and we met up yesterday. The "date" went like this: Picked her up, drove around, watched movie, ate dinner. When we was dropping my car off at my apt before the movie she insisted that we check out my place later. I was pretty sure of her intentions and told her sure after dinner. Movie/dinner went well; fun and laughs all around. Afterwards she told me she was tired and I suggested we go back to my place. She agrees. I thought things were gonna turn hot and heavy... lol So at my place I played it cool and sorta expected her to make a move on me since she was older (after reading up on this kinda situation). I made her a drink, we popped in a movie and she proceeded to sit on a chair beside my bed and watch... I sat on the bed and was sorta confused. I figured it was no good trying to force anything so I played it off cool. After the movie I drove her home (her suggestion before the date) She invited me into her place as I dropped her off. At this point I didn't know what to expect as I was pretty thrown off and confused. We went in and just chilled for a bit. I tried to be flirty with her but she sorta brushed it off. I let things go naturally and didn't make a move since I didn't really get the vibe from her. While we were watching this dating show on TV I asked her how I'd fare. She told me if I were 10 years older I'd stand a chance (with her). I got that vibe throughout the night; I felt like she's trying to hold back something. She likes me but the age difference is bothering her. I left on a high note and went home. So guys, how should I proceed? Does she only think of me as a friend or is she waiting for me to make a movie? Whats going on in her head? Broads that are in the 28-32 range are hard to bang. Why? They want to get married and have kids. If she was a single mom it would be different but I'm guessing she has no kids. There are two options here, escalate sexually, or make her think that you want a relationship. Sexual escalation can be done by subtle touching, a late night kiss, but my go to is asking if she wants a massage where you can slowly build up. Hey remove your bra so I can rub your whole back etc... etc...
mesmerized Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Broads that are in the 28-32 range are hard to bang. Why? They want to get married and have kids. If she was a single mom it would be different but I'm guessing she has no kids. There are two options here, escalate sexually, or make her think that you want a relationship. Sexual escalation can be done by subtle touching, a late night kiss, but my go to is asking if she wants a massage where you can slowly build up. Hey remove your bra so I can rub your whole back etc... etc... Unless she is a complete dumbass, he can't "trick" her into thinking he wants a relationship or anything. Young guys are very easy to read. Also, when Ive been out with younger guys, they didn't expect me to make a move, they were faster than men my age to make to move. After a little while they start looking at you like you're food and they're very hungry Well, all men do but younger guys get there faster. 1
manup Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Unless she is a complete dumbass, he can't "trick" her into thinking he wants a relationship or anything. Young guys are very easy to read. Also, when Ive been out with younger guys, they didn't expect me to make a move, they were faster than men my age to make to move. After a little while they start looking at you like you're food and they're very hungry Well, all men do but younger guys get there faster. Lol yes he can. This is a good point, when I started out most older women would say I seemed anxious, younger women do this to a lesser degree but the same rules apply. If you fell like you're close to closing and she puts a stop sign in front if you the best thing is to act like you don't want sex and to simply change the subject. Eventually she'll come around. This method has around an 80 percent success rate for me. Remember dude the older women get the sluttier I mean more sexually liberated a lot of them get. If she's even entertaining you especially at your age she's for sure dtf you just need to get her guard down. Closing with her is much much easier than it is with her younger and hotter competition. Lastly do not catch feelings for an older women it's lame and the relationship is likely doomed for failure anyways.
Author bro Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 I'll turn it down a notch and be more natural with her. No more "waiting for signals" like a hormonal teenager. She just got out of a 5 year relationship about 1/2 year ago so I'm not sure what she's after. I'll probably make a move next time we're out (hold hand/kiss).
mesmerized Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Lol yes he can. only if she is not too bright. When I go out with younger guys, I pretty much have all the control except when it comes to them attacking me due to sexual appetite. It's not that they're not mature, it's just that they can't really lie and be smooth like older men, at least not with me.
Negative Nancy Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 If she's even entertaining you especially at your age she's for sure dtf But only after he got the GTL, know what I'm sayin'...
Woggle Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 She outright told you if you were 10 years older you would have a chance so there it is. I have nothing against these kinds of relationships but it appears not to be her cup of tea so let it go.
manup Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 only if she is not too bright. When I go out with younger guys, I pretty much have all the control except when it comes to them attacking me due to sexual appetite. It's not that they're not mature, it's just that they can't really lie and be smooth like older men, at least not with me. It's likely just inexperience, I started out w/ older women mostly because younger women were an enigma to me. As I gained more experience I haven't really gone the older route because I prefer younger women. Older women are decent practice for a young guy in training though.
mesmerized Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 It's likely just inexperience, I started out w/ older women mostly because younger women were an enigma to me. As I gained more experience I haven't really gone the older route because I prefer younger women. Older women are decent practice for a young guy in training though. A lot of older women don't mind training them either, a younger man with a beautiful body and insatiable sexual appetite is always good.
darkmoon Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 I don't have a specific type of relationship I'm looking for. I don't mind a purely sexual relationship. Emotions/no emotions doesn't really bother me... I just enjoy her presence as she's very mature and easy to get along with. A relationship could work as long as she's not after marriage or kids. you might not want the same thing just now marraige or regular sex two different things
Author bro Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 But only after he got the GTL, know what I'm sayin'... What does GTL stand for? DTF or not I found it strange that she came over to my place and let me drive her back home (when she can cab). We've only known each other for a bit over a month now. She even asked me before the date if I were gonna drive her home and stuff. I figured she had alternate motives. I noticed that she feels real comfortable near me.
Author bro Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 Unless she is a complete dumbass, he can't "trick" her into thinking he wants a relationship or anything. Young guys are very easy to read. Also, when Ive been out with younger guys, they didn't expect me to make a move, they were faster than men my age to make to move. After a little while they start looking at you like you're food and they're very hungry Well, all men do but younger guys get there faster. Should I try to be smoother when making a move or does she already know/have an idea of what I'm after? She was very curious about my previous relationship and asked about it a few times. But she knows I'm not after anything serious now.
carhill Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Should I try to be smoother when making a move or does she already know/have an idea of what I'm after? She knew what you were after from your first substantial interaction at work. She was very curious about my previous relationship and asked about it a few times. But she knows I'm not after anything serious now. Pretty normal. Everything isn't always as it seems. Advice: Stay out of a woman's bedroom and don't invite her into yours unless/until sex is immanent. This would be indicated by foreplay outside the bedroom. WRT older women, they're merely more life-experienced versions of their younger counterparts. They've had a lifetime of young bucks rooting around at their feet. It's old hat to them. Go with the flow.
Author bro Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 She knew what you were after from your first substantial interaction at work. Pretty normal. Everything isn't always as it seems. Advice: Stay out of a woman's bedroom and don't invite her into yours unless/until sex is immanent. This would be indicated by foreplay outside the bedroom. WRT older women, they're merely more life-experienced versions of their younger counterparts. They've had a lifetime of young bucks rooting around at their feet. It's old hat to them. Go with the flow. Thanks for the advice. However she was the one that insisted we go yo my place and hers. I just didn't make a move :/ If she indirectly asks or hints at going to my place/hers, should I just say no and suggest we do something else until it's very clear that we both wanna bang?
carhill Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 You're in control of you. My advice is predicated upon refraining from setting a precedent that platonic actions happen in and around the heterosexual bed. Clarity. Trust me, she knows exactly what she's doing; what to say, how to appear, the way to position her body, all that stuff. She's been doing it since an innocent little girl with daddy. Know your boundaries and stick to them. Do what you do. Lastly, I would invite you to think of sex differently from 'banging', if not with this young lady, then with one you do want something more long-term with. It leaks out. Good luck.
Recommended Posts