The "L" word, I said it now what?

[Suzanka]

I met a man on the internet 7 months ago. At the time I lived in another state. We talked almost daily for at least an hour. After 3 months I met him. I moved to his city (not just because of him) 3 months ago and we have been steadily seeing each other. I keep questioning however his commitment to the relationship. I have fallen in love with him and he knows it. We both are single parents who don't want to let our children in on our romance unless we feel that it is going somewhere. We have an amazing sex life but it is very complicated to see each other as I have my child fulltime with no relief. I told him that at this time I needed to know if he was to a point of viewing this as a serious enough relationship to include our children. I told him that I loved him and that I was getting too emotionally invested to not have some clarity from him. He told me that he would think about it. I questioned him a week later and he wouldn't comment. I then told him that I needed to break off the relationship and that I needed some time to heal. His response was to just hold me as I cried and to say he'd call. I asked him not to, yet he keeps trying me several times a day. I do know that he is very frightened of being hurt. He was divorced 7 years ago from a woman that he dearly loved and she cheated on him. Since then he has only been in one long term relationship. My sense is that he cares deeply for me but isn't sure. Am I expecting too much too soon? Did I tell him that I loved him too soon? It's how I truly feel. Thanks for your help.

[Olivia_19742004]

Have you asked him where he'd like the relationship to be at this point? What are his expectations and are they expectations you can live with until things become more clear. I just don't see many questions being asked of him. Why don't you ask him what he wants?

[Girlie]

I'm in a similar situation, and wish I had some magical advice for you. All I can say is communication is the key. If he's unsure, perhaps he'd be willing to discuss why or at least give you some idea behind the hesitance. It could be as simples as him needing to go at a slower pace then you simply because of his personality type. Maybe he's not ready to say I love you quite yet...but that doesn't necessarily mean he's not committed to you. Does he see other people? Does he see this relationship as something with long-term potential, even if he's not ready to plunge right now? Talk to him. No harm in that.