Attractiveness a problem?

[apostrophe]

Dear all,

 

It would be interesting to hear some thoughts on this.

 

Several years ago I had a few issues with my confidence - it was very difficult for me to talk to women and it was something I wanted to change. Over time, I starting taking better care of myself and I eventually became very confident and better looking.

 

It's come to a point now that women get very intimidated in front of me. As I walk down the street on an average day, I get women (and men) looking and staring at me all the time. Whilst I used to think that improving my looks would help me with the opposite sex, it hasn't helped - I've never had a girlfriend.

 

Given the experiences I've been through of having to improve my looks and self-confidence, I no longer find women intimidating. I have no problem approaching a "10/10" (as is often mentioned here). However I've had numerous experiences of 10/10s being so nervous in front of me that there's very little opportunity to build a relationship. The silly thing about it is that there's nothing to be nervous about - I'm nice and polite to everyone, I'll talk to others even if they aren't the typical 10/10, like everyone else I have my weaknesses and failures etc. etc.

 

Whenever I walk down the street and a woman who is with her boyfriend sees me, she'll jump at her boyfriend to kiss him so that it's visible to me. Men do the same thing - they see me and straight away put their arms round their girlfriend. This is something I experience on a daily basis... it does make me wonder about the impact I have on people.

 

A while ago I approached a girl in the gym - a very attractive girl that most guys would be anxious to approach. We started talking and had about a 7minute conversation which ended with us shaking hands and exchanging our names. It was a nice conversation and there was some chemistry between us, with me complimenting her looks and vice versa. So naturally I thought this could possibly lead to something the next time we saw each other (eg. a longer conversation, possible friendship, maybe even a relationship etc.). However the next time she saw me at the gym, she became nervous / intimidated and avoided me. Back to square one - it's as if the conversation never happened in the first place.

 

So this is the problem I have. I apologise if it sounds arrogant, however it is what I am experiencing day to day. I understand a relationship gets stronger when people open up, but it seems that women get so intimidated in front of me that they can't even be themselves, which then ends up with the relationship going nowhere.

 

Has this been a problem for anyone? I don't see this as a problem for women. When a woman is very attractive, it appears that they get approached by guys very often. However with me, my attractiveness has changed to such an extent that I never get women approaching me - they'll look and look and stare, but never pluck up the courage to speak to me.

[maysj18]

Dear all,

 

It would be interesting to hear some thoughts on this.

 

Several years ago I had a few issues with my confidence - it was very difficult for me to talk to women and it was something I wanted to change. Over time, I starting taking better care of myself and I eventually became very confident and better looking.

 

It's come to a point now that women get very intimidated in front of me. As I walk down the street on an average day, I get women (and men) looking and staring at me all the time. Whilst I used to think that improving my looks would help me with the opposite sex, it hasn't helped - I've never had a girlfriend.

 

Given the experiences I've been through of having to improve my looks and self-confidence, I no longer find women intimidating. I have no problem approaching a "10/10" (as is often mentioned here). However I've had numerous experiences of 10/10s being so nervous in front of me that there's very little opportunity to build a relationship. The silly thing about it is that there's nothing to be nervous about - I'm nice and polite to everyone, I'll talk to others even if they aren't the typical 10/10, like everyone else I have my weaknesses and failures etc. etc.

 

Whenever I walk down the street and a woman who is with her boyfriend sees me, she'll jump at her boyfriend to kiss him so that it's visible to me. Men do the same thing - they see me and straight away put their arms round their girlfriend. This is something I experience on a daily basis... it does make me wonder about the impact I have on people.

 

A while ago I approached a girl in the gym - a very attractive girl that most guys would be anxious to approach. We started talking and had about a 7minute conversation which ended with us shaking hands and exchanging our names. It was a nice conversation and there was some chemistry between us, with me complimenting her looks and vice versa. So naturally I thought this could possibly lead to something the next time we saw each other (eg. a longer conversation, possible friendship, maybe even a relationship etc.). However the next time she saw me at the gym, she became nervous / intimidated and avoided me. Back to square one - it's as if the conversation never happened in the first place.

 

So this is the problem I have. I apologise if it sounds arrogant, however it is what I am experiencing day to day. I understand a relationship gets stronger when people open up, but it seems that women get so intimidated in front of me that they can't even be themselves, which then ends up with the relationship going nowhere.

 

Has this been a problem for anyone? I don't see this as a problem for women. When a woman is very attractive, it appears that they get approached by guys very often. However with me, my attractiveness has changed to such an extent that I never get women approaching me - they'll look and look and stare, but never pluck up the courage to speak to me.

 

Im going to need to see a picture before I can give you advice.

[ThaWholigan]

Actually, you'll find that there are some very beautiful women who are never approached. People are sometimes intimidated by natural beauty.

 

I can't say as a man that it's happened to me more than a couple of times (I was in Uni, and a lot leaner), but in most cases there is a way to offset that effect by altering your body language somehow. Perhaps you are coming across as too confident? Sometimes that happens. Best thing I can do is try to make yourself look more accommodating.

 

How would you say you interact with women? And can you describe your body language/movement?

[EasyHeart]

I often wish I weren't so damned good-looking, but then I realize that we all have certain crosses that we must bear.

 

Luckily, I'm also a genius, so I could figure that out.

[VodkaShots]

Photo?

 

Sorry, but the story rings untrue and comes across as a complete fantasy (being your first post probably doesn't help). Some people can be stunners in the looks department to the point where they'll get people talking when they're gone and people will feel intimidated to approach them, but I highly doubt you're so good looking that people in the street stops and stare at you. If this was the case you would have been snapped up to model for Calvin Klein or Georgio Armani or something.

[venusianx13]

Could it be the way you hold yourself? Perhaps your experiences from the past have made you carry yourself in such a way that you appear unapproachable? Sometimes "attractive" people appear arrogant, but don't realize it. It may just be your guard that people are sensing.

 

That said, though, I don't think every woman you meet is going to pine after you. I don't kiss my boyfriend every time a really attractive man walks by, and he doesn't hold me tighter for fear of losing me. I honestly think you should reframe your thinking some. It's sounding a little unrealistic.

[TLY22]

Has this been a problem for anyone? I don't see this as a problem for women. When a woman is very attractive, it appears that they get approached by guys very often. However with me, my attractiveness has changed to such an extent that I never get women approaching me - they'll look and look and stare, but never pluck up the courage to speak to me.

 

Not true. Beautiful women do not get approached, because the guy is either too scared, or doesn't think he's good enough. No one has confidence (unless it's liquid confidence) when it comes to beautiful women.

 

But I agree with other replies; we're going to need a photo of you, because what you're describing sounds way to extreme and I honestly don't believe women act that way around you.

[O'farrell]

I think I have this problem because the same thing happens to me every time I leave my house to do anything. Womens tare constantly then turn away at the speed of light and men look down when I see them.

[O'farrell]

Heres what I actually look like. Not much of a smiler in front of a camera. I know im not a 9/10 but I think they like my exotic look. (im ethnic)

 

[Tiera D]

perhaps they think u look like a player? i have the same problem,my exes all have same character i dunno why its like im programmed to seek the same type chick,girls remark at me was "look at him he must be a player,lets avoid him"

 

TD"

[AlexDP]

Dear all,

 

It would be interesting to hear some thoughts on this.

 

Several years ago I had a few issues with my confidence - it was very difficult for me to talk to women and it was something I wanted to change. Over time, I starting taking better care of myself and I eventually became very confident and better looking.

 

It's come to a point now that women get very intimidated in front of me. As I walk down the street on an average day, I get women (and men) looking and staring at me all the time. Whilst I used to think that improving my looks would help me with the opposite sex, it hasn't helped - I've never had a girlfriend.

 

Given the experiences I've been through of having to improve my looks and self-confidence, I no longer find women intimidating. I have no problem approaching a "10/10" (as is often mentioned here). However I've had numerous experiences of 10/10s being so nervous in front of me that there's very little opportunity to build a relationship. The silly thing about it is that there's nothing to be nervous about - I'm nice and polite to everyone, I'll talk to others even if they aren't the typical 10/10, like everyone else I have my weaknesses and failures etc. etc.

 

Whenever I walk down the street and a woman who is with her boyfriend sees me, she'll jump at her boyfriend to kiss him so that it's visible to me. Men do the same thing - they see me and straight away put their arms round their girlfriend. This is something I experience on a daily basis... it does make me wonder about the impact I have on people.

 

A while ago I approached a girl in the gym - a very attractive girl that most guys would be anxious to approach. We started talking and had about a 7minute conversation which ended with us shaking hands and exchanging our names. It was a nice conversation and there was some chemistry between us, with me complimenting her looks and vice versa. So naturally I thought this could possibly lead to something the next time we saw each other (eg. a longer conversation, possible friendship, maybe even a relationship etc.). However the next time she saw me at the gym, she became nervous / intimidated and avoided me. Back to square one - it's as if the conversation never happened in the first place.

 

So this is the problem I have. I apologise if it sounds arrogant, however it is what I am experiencing day to day. I understand a relationship gets stronger when people open up, but it seems that women get so intimidated in front of me that they can't even be themselves, which then ends up with the relationship going nowhere.

 

Has this been a problem for anyone? I don't see this as a problem for women. When a woman is very attractive, it appears that they get approached by guys very often. However with me, my attractiveness has changed to such an extent that I never get women approaching me - they'll look and look and stare, but never pluck up the courage to speak to me.

 

It's a good theory. I'll give you that. Except the best looking and most succesful men are always dating the best looking and most succesful women and are rarely single. What you're basically saying is that Ryan Renolds couldn't get a date. I don't think that's the case.