Author somedude81 Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 Hah! It seems I have a captive audience. I'll see her Thursday. I found a club in her city that does Salsa on Tuesday nights so I'll bring it up to her next time we have class. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Great plan! Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 OK so it's scheduled for Salsa on the 18th. Though for some reason something feels off. I'm just not excited. And I'm half expecting her to cancel. Even if we do go out, I don't think anything is going to change. When I really think out I think it's because I don't have feelings for her, so it seems weird. I also don't know her well enough to be friends. It's confusing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 You remind me of a woman on Tough Love New Orleans (it was on earlier this summer on VH1; it's this great show about matchmaking) who was a virgin (that's not why you remind me of her!). She kept rejecting guys because she said she didn't feel the tingly feeling in her stomach that she had read about when she MET them! The other women were like, good grief! just give him a chance! So she finally gave this one guy a chance after a couple of dates where she 'just didn't feel it' and then they got past all the nerves and the bull and started just enjoying themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 OK so it's scheduled for Salsa on the 18th. Though for some reason something feels off. I'm just not excited. And I'm half expecting her to cancel. Even if we do go out, I don't think anything is going to change. When I really think out I think it's because I don't have feelings for her, so it seems weird. I also don't know her well enough to be friends. It's confusing. You're overthinking it now. Think of it as getting to know her. You don't have to be uber excited, just be relaxed 2 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 yay you asked her? Chill out, Who is right you are overthinking it! Can't wait for the update. Why does this have to be in "in search of", I always forget about it anyway of course you don't know her well enough to be friends--yet. You are getting to know her, that's the whole point goof. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BubblyBeth Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Chill out, Who is right you are overthinking it! anyway of course you don't know her well enough to be friends--yet. You are getting to know her, that's the whole point goof. Who is right? Who? hehe, sorry, old A&C classic) Yes SD, listen to everyone here. Don't overthink it! Just be your natural charming self and live in the moment. It seems like you are going into "self-defeatist" mode... counting yourself out even before the battle begins... don't do this! This mentality can keep a person single for life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Go to a frat party... I kissed some guys at those haha Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Who is right? Who? hehe, sorry, old A&C classic) Yes SD, listen to everyone here. Don't overthink it! Just be your natural charming self and live in the moment. It seems like you are going into "self-defeatist" mode... counting yourself out even before the battle begins... don't do this! This mentality can keep a person single for life. bingo ! when you're with this girl, live in the friggn moment. leave the past and the future at home. just get to know her for who she is and see if there's anything deeper going on. it really isn't that hard. now quit overthinking, and just live for once. Link to post Share on other sites
BubblyBeth Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 it really isn't that hard. now quit overthinking, and just live for once. Unfortunately, for some people it IS (incredibly) hard. Some people do not have the ability to so easily switch on and off like some others are able to. SD seems like a heavy thinker... very cause-and-effect, very analytical. We can encourage him to stop overthinking, but it is not easy for someone in his shoes. Still, that isn't a valid excuse. One should know and acknowledge their weaknesses, but to stop there would be a tragedy. After acknowledging, you must be proactive in finding healthy solutions. It's all part of being a healthy and complete adult. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 You're overthinking it now. Think of it as getting to know her. You don't have to be uber excited, just be relaxed Yep!! SD, imo you should always listen to me and Who. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Just go for it, you can make your mind up about it and her later. At the very least, it'll be a fun outing and some experience interacting with women. Link to post Share on other sites
Meeks7 Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Have a good time, Somedude! Just live in the moment. Els is right, you can always re-evaluate later whether you like her or not, and how much. Right now, simply view this as an opportunity for F-U-N. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Share Posted September 17, 2012 Thanks guys. Yeah I'll try to not think about it too much and have fun. But there still is the nagging feeling that's bugging me. I think I'm still too focused on the past. Which is stupid because it's not like I actually have an ex girlfriend to compare to. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Thanks guys. Yeah I'll try to not think about it too much and have fun. But there still is the nagging feeling that's bugging me. I think I'm still too focused on the past. Which is stupid because it's not like I actually have an ex girlfriend to compare to. Because the past was none too kind to you. Let the past go, it has nothing to do with the present. Stay in the present. Think about the moment. Take the positives. Accept that you have that nagging feeling and nothing more, just think about having a good time and relax. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 So when we were deciding the dates to go Salsa I didn't realize that we picked a night that was right before my calculus exam. Since math is a very hard subject for me, I thought it wasn't a good idea to do it tonight so I realized I had to cancel on her. I saw her in class and told her that I had some bad news. She also said she had some news and couldn't make it tonight. Her reason was that she has to take the bus home today and it would be an hour or more ride for her, and that she only got three hours of sleep last night because her husband came home late. She still wants to go out but I suggested that we should try to arrange a group thing with the class as it would be fun with more people. ____________________ Moral of the story, it's not a bad idea to get to know somebody a bit before you make plans with them. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Say what? Her ... husband ... came home late? Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Her husband?! Huh. Well, a group outing sounds good too, try to make that happen! Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 Yup, her husband. I guess she forgot to tell me that she was married. It must be some European thing to go out dancing with guys you just met when you're married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 So it's yet another false start. Good thing that wasn't actually into her yet. Well, there are some other girls I could be interested in. Though I'm going to have to do all the initiations and everything else. Guess this one was a little too easy. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Well, at least you got more practice now! Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Yup, her husband. I guess she forgot to tell me that she was married. It must be some European thing to go out dancing with guys you just met when you're married. That happened to me too. Don't worry mate, keep your spirits up and keep interacting with the girls 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 Well, at least you got more practice now! Not really since she was the one who wanted to go out dancing. All I had to do was make the plans. No other girl has yet to express wanting to do anything with me, so somehow I'm going to have to get started. That happened to me too. Ha, with you in England, and it happened to you, it really must be a European thing. Don't worry mate, keep your spirits up and keep interacting with the girls Keeping my spirits up is much harder than it seems. One thing that I know is that just interacting with girls isn't enough. Somehow I have to get a girl to want to do something with me. And to do it in a non-platonic way. I'm almost at a loss. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 So when we were deciding the dates to go Salsa I didn't realize that we picked a night that was right before my calculus exam. Since math is a very hard subject for me, I thought it wasn't a good idea to do it tonight so I realized I had to cancel on her. I saw her in class and told her that I had some bad news. She also said she had some news and couldn't make it tonight. Her reason was that she has to take the bus home today and it would be an hour or more ride for her, and that she only got three hours of sleep last night because her husband came home late. She still wants to go out but I suggested that we should try to arrange a group thing with the class as it would be fun with more people. ____________________ Moral of the story, it's not a bad idea to get to know somebody a bit before you make plans with them. It's not too weird. Salsa dancing is like a sport. Women dance with different men all the time. My ex was really into Salsa. She'd go to Salsa clubs and dance with like tons of different men. No big deal. I would go anyway. Ask her again, just to have fun. How come you're taking Calc? I thought this was your last year. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 She still wants to go out but I suggested that we should try to arrange a group thing with the class as it would be fun with more people. I'm so glad you suggested this, SD!!! Really stoked for you. The group thing is a great idea, as she might introduce you to other girls as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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