USMCHokie Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 But it's still affecting you now, even when you can look at it from a more rational angle... Well of course...it may not be on the same traumatic level of someone who was physically abused as a child, but it stems from the same idea that it's hard for us to kick something that strongly affected us during childhood. Even if I can approach it rationally, emotion can often be the stronger force that overcomes even the most rational mind... Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Yes, for me personally, my race issue has always been about physical characteristics associated with the race.This is why I used to always have a tough time receiving compliments of physical traits...I'd always be tempted to respond with, "ummm, thanks, but you do know I'm Asian, right...? Interesting. Admittedly, growing up in the states, asian men aren't exactly seen as ladies men. I think asian women have it much easier, and of course a lot of men go through an asian fetish, I know I sure did. But when you see asian men in movies and television, he's usually a virgin, tech geek, outcast, unfortunately. What burns me though are those in my race who don't date people in their own race. A little self hatred going on if you ask me. I've heard some latinas say "I don't date hispanics because they're too ghetto." Pretty sad when you generalize and discriminate an entire race. More sad when it's your own race. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Basically: Girl tells Boy: I am not into you because you are too small. Boy with high self-esteem thinks: Who cares, you are just too big/fat. Boy with low self-esteem thinks: S... I am too small. No girl will ever like me. My life is over 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I think it's more my overall vibe in real life than my physical appearance. I've been told I'm quite pretty but I am not approached very much in real life. I do give off an unapproachable, almost downright unfriendly vibe. I have been trying to work on it but it's difficult to change. I don't feel all that comfortable around a bunch of strangers. I have friends who are as attractive as I am or less attractive, but they are much friendlier and personable so they get boatloads more attention than I do. Perhaps my appearance does factor into it a bit as well--that stereotype that all pretty girls are b*tches. I'm really not; I just am not comfortable in certain settings and it shows. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Interesting. Admittedly, growing up in the states, asian men aren't exactly seen as ladies men. I think asian women have it much easier, and of course a lot of men go through an asian fetish, I know I sure did. But when you see asian men in movies and television, he's usually a virgin, tech geek, outcast, unfortunately. What burns me though are those in my race who don't date people in their own race. A little self hatred going on if you ask me. I've heard some latinas say "I don't date hispanics because they're too ghetto." Pretty sad when you generalize and discriminate an entire race. More sad when it's your own race. It's all about keeping up with the Joneses. Having the most physically attractive person on your arm will certainly increase your social status...and for some, that status is very important for them. Taking the Asian women for example, dating a white man will increase their social status and make them more "westernized." It's simply keeping up with their white female counterparts. But again, I merely speculate... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 It's all about keeping up with the Joneses. Having the most physically attractive person on your arm will certainly increase your social status...and for some, that status is very important for them. Taking the Asian women for example, dating a white man will increase their social status and make them more "westernized." It's simply keeping up with their white female counterparts. But again, I merely speculate... I agree with you. The reason a lot of people love to date white men and women is status and this whole attraction thing is often BS. I honestly don't care...I would love to date a Latino or black man. It's just that I don't meet that many here who I'm attracted to and compatible with. I wouldn't mind dating an Asian guy but so far I've seen maybe less than 10 Asian men that I was attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 ... so far I've seen maybe less than 10 Asian men that I was attracted to. <--------- Make that 11. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I think it's more my overall vibe in real life than my physical appearance. I've been told I'm quite pretty but I am not approached very much in real life. I do give off an unapproachable, almost downright unfriendly vibe. I have been trying to work on it but it's difficult to change. I don't feel all that comfortable around a bunch of strangers. I have friends who are as attractive as I am or less attractive, but they are much friendlier and personable so they get boatloads more attention than I do. Perhaps my appearance does factor into it a bit as well--that stereotype that all pretty girls are b*tches. I'm really not; I just am not comfortable in certain settings and it shows. I have no idea T why your looks would cause you ANY problems at all, apart from too many options Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 If I was fitter I'd have more options. Luckily I look pretty good in the face. Well - time to go and train now, belly's starting to get big ..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 yes, but only cos i've let myself go a bit in the last year. it's funny how the extra weight hasn't stopped the attention, but it has made me a little gun-shy & insecure about flirting back; so this is basically about my own insecurity rather than how others percieve me. funny how that works eh ? so now i'm on track with the disclipline and i expect the insecurity to melt away with the mid-section. compared with others on here with race and height issues, my problems are nothing ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Yes. For those with personal race issues, I feel that it's not the race itself that is the insecurity, but the physical characteristics and appearance associated with that race. So my race made me look a certain way; a way which really has never been glamourized by media and popular culture. I've done what I can with what I've been given to overcome that, and I'd say that I'm happy with the result. However, I can't say that it has changed the underlying fact. So yes, fo'rizzles. I'm not being funny but you don't really appear to look typical for your race in your photos. Which makes me think the bolded shouldn't be that much of an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I'm not being funny but you don't really appear to look typical for your race in your photos. Which makes me think the bolded shouldn't be that much of an issue. I was thinking that too. Hokie what exactly are you? (Serious question here) Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Taking the Asian women for example, dating a white man will increase their social status and make them more "westernized." It's simply keeping up with their white female counterparts. But again, I merely speculate... Really? I've been rejected by quite a few Asian girls. Japanese, Korean and Chinese. I think they all preferred Asian guys. Link to post Share on other sites
silicone Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Yes. Here's a pic of me: https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s720x720/394464_10151180531514853_956361507_n.jpg I'm not particularly attractive, and I'm shorter than the average woman. I know for a fact that my body isn't a winner with most women. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Really? I've been rejected by quite a few Asian girls. Japanese, Korean and Chinese. I think they all preferred Asian guys. contrary to LS mythos, there are asian women, and men for that matter, who don't view caucasians as a step up in the 'social heirarchy' (whatever the heck that even means). if we're referencing popular hollywood stereotypes, then to the asian men with a complex, just turn off the damn TV already 2 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I was thinking that too. Hokie what exactly are you? (Serious question here) Malaysian Chinaman, to be precise. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiera D Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 well physical appearance hold me back because due to my looks most chicks think im some playboy,perhaps i just had those Edison Cheng looks >< TD Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 I don't believe I am unattractive. I told this woman that, "I believe I am beyond a 10 and let no one tell me different. But people have their preferences and I respect that." I think she took it as arrogant but I don't care. I'm sure as hell not gonna say I'm a 7. Or a 6. You might not like it but another will. It's not attraction holding me back I think its other things. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I have plenty of problems, but physical appearance is not one of them,. In fact, it is my strong point. I am half Asian half white. People usually realize I am mixed, race, but I have yet to have anyone think I am any part Asian. They usually think I am some sort of Latin, including the actual Latin people. I am not over 6' tall, blonde hair or blue eyes, but I do have a very good complexion with naturally radiant skin. When winter transitions to summer and I get more sun, I always notice a pick-up in females that are interested. Clubbing...I think I am easily a top choice for sluts and horney women. I only very recently started getting into casual sex and it is very easy to come by. Before that I was all about devoting myself to one girl and relationships, but I always seem to lose there and it's affected me. I am not tall or short, I am 5'11". Even if I didn't workout, I'd have broad shoulders and a muscular build. I lean out easily and definition comes with little effort. Skin tone and face is probably my biggest attractor for women. My body is mostly hairless naturally. The hair on my head is not greying at all nor is it receding or thinning. I hate to say it, but people are very far guessing my age. All the kids just assume I am @ their age. When I am happy with women, I workout hard. When I am angry with women, I workout harder. I am not happy. I am not looking to just have random sexual encounters for the rest of my life. I don't think my family would disown me, but I know they are not happy I haven't settled down. But every girl I was ever interested in enough that I thought I wanted to marry them, has rejected me. Looks are not everything, unless all you wanted was a lot of blowjobs from different girls. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Nice to know that you're looks aren't an issue Imported. But don't you think you're posting in the wrong thread? You're coming off as a bit of a braggart. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiera D Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 imported i have the same problem as u,i cant get a long term relationship anymore,every relationship i get is getting shorter and shorter,why does everyone think im a player,i just want to settle down Somedude physical attractiveness is a double edged sword trust me on this,im still enduring TD Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 imported i have the same problem as u,i cant get a long term relationship anymore,every relationship i get is getting shorter and shorter,why does everyone think im a player,i just want to settle down Somedude physical attractiveness is a double edged sword trust me on this,im still enduring TD Try going without sex for a few years and then we'll compare notes. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Try going without sex for a few years and then we'll compare notes. You can always lie to girls that you got a big dick and when they're in bed with you say SURPRISE! Seriously though, they can't see your penis, it might work for you Link to post Share on other sites
Tiera D Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 well so we have different problems,yours height mine is well..getting misunderstood, somedude i read some threads you made,i wana ask you do you smile alot?during my younger years i get ignored by girl due to they think im unapprochable,just my opinion TD Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I don't feel my physical appearance could be holding me back I think it's an extreme advantage. I do feel the way I look is a problem due to the constant unwanted bothersome approaches by guys. For some reason no matter what b*tch face I put on I still look approachable either that or the guys say 'f*ck it'. Link to post Share on other sites
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