9Lives Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Well today is not a happy day. I been with my guy for 5 months. Very sweet, loving, nice, sex is off the chain. Introduce me to his family, met my friends, been doing very well ..so I thought! We was looking toward the future of more. TODAY, I looked in his SEND box and discovered that he emailed a chic telling her he is single, looking for a long term relationship and on and on. I told him i know about it and im hurt. he just started a new job so he cant talk right now. Needless to say, Im hurt. I REALLY LIKE HIM. I dont think he can explain this away. He told her and me the same thing....He said he is a very honest, loyal person with high morals and values. Im just shocked. He mentioned he goes to church and that he is a loving affectionate man. sigh.. Finding out someone is a liar is just hard to deal with but what can you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostnlonley Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Sounds like he is a player, plain and simple. He is using you as his option...he is gonna try something else out, and if he likes it better, he's gonna break it off with you for her. Or even worse, he will have you both at the same time. He doesn't want to be single. Wll, you can change that and make him single real quick. He may try to lie his way out of it, but you pretty much caught him red handed and this email should speak louder than his words to you right now. I say get out, I know that probably isn't what you wanna hear, but he sounds like a player. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 RUN. And dont ever look back. If u do YOU will be sorry. Mark my WISE words. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 Sounds like he is a player, plain and simple. He is using you as his option...he is gonna try something else out, and if he likes it better, he's gonna break it off with you for her. Or even worse, he will have you both at the same time. He doesn't want to be single. Wll, you can change that and make him single real quick. He may try to lie his way out of it, but you pretty much caught him red handed and this email should speak louder than his words to you right now. I say get out, I know that probably isn't what you wanna hear, but he sounds like a player. Rather I want to hear it or not...I need to hear it. I caught him red handed is right. I just shocked right now. We are very close and this is a surprise but he is still looking for another and I have to accept he is not the man I thought he was. It will be painful for a while but what is left. he is playing games. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Accept that he's single. Merely print out the evidence, provide it to him in hard copy, and discontinue association. People are who they are. My sympathies. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 Accept that he's single. Merely print out the evidence, provide it to him in hard copy, and discontinue association. People are who they are. My sympathies. I accept Carhill...now I just have to deal with the pain. What a day Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 You'll Live (No pun intended) It takes time and dont doubt yourself... it was never you... its him. he is so insecure that he needs the attention of a dozen women to make him feel remotley better about himself. 9lives-1 > Cheater-0 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 You'll Live (No pun intended) It takes time and dont doubt yourself... it was never you... its him. he is so insecure that he needs the attention of a dozen women to make him feel remotley better about himself. 9lives-1 > Cheater-0 Yes, your right. AND I KNOW it wasn't me. I just found out so I'm down but I will get back up again. That's why I'm 9LIVES. I'm just disappointed because I was happy. I enjoyed being with him and how he treated me. Now it's over. I just need time to get over all this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 I know it hurts, but just remember that his "nice" behavior to you was superficial. You can find someone to treat you well, to your face and behind your back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Men on those dating sites and elsewhere tend to tell women what they think they want to hear, and a lot of it is made up, just for the sake of getting the women to accept them. My sister used to get these types when she did OLD, who claimed to be church-goers, and men of faith, only to find out that they really weren't. It was just a line or ploy to get a woman to more readily accept them. I'm sorry your bf ended up being one of those "fake" men who pretend to be something they are not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 He said he is a very honest, loyal person with high morals and values. All evidence to the contrary, my dear! You now know his true colors and can move on accordingly. You'll be better off without him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 All evidence to the contrary, my dear! You now know his true colors and can move on accordingly. You'll be better off without him. Yes CarrieT..smh! I just cant believe it but .....it is real. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Well today is not a happy day. I been with my guy for 5 months. Very sweet, loving, nice, sex is off the chain. Introduce me to his family, met my friends, been doing very well ..so I thought! We was looking toward the future of more. TODAY, I looked in his SEND box and discovered that he emailed a chic telling her he is single, looking for a long term relationship and on and on. I told him i know about it and im hurt. he just started a new job so he cant talk right now. Needless to say, Im hurt. I REALLY LIKE HIM. I dont think he can explain this away. He told her and me the same thing....He said he is a very honest, loyal person with high morals and values. Im just shocked. He mentioned he goes to church and that he is a loving affectionate man. sigh.. Finding out someone is a liar is just hard to deal with but what can you do. ((my 9))) What a jerk!! I'm so sorry he's done to this you. You are right, how can he explain this or even deny it? He's been caught like bambi in headlights. He has to own this and admit that he has been doing things behind you back. I'm sure you'd like to know why though. Hugs again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Yes, your right. AND I KNOW it wasn't me. I just found out so I'm down but I will get back up again. That's why I'm 9LIVES. I'm just disappointed because I was happy. I enjoyed being with him and how he treated me. Now it's over. I just need time to get over all this. So glad that you see that none of this has anything to do with you.. Yup, you're certainly living up to your username! His loss. What a fool! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
changchewsoon Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I am sorry you had to go through this, this guy is definitely a player. My ex of 4.5 years did the same to me, told people that she's single and she and I are just friends only. I dropped her right on the spot and never looked back. Was the one of the best decisions I ever made. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 At least give him a chance to tell his side. Not sure I can even imagine how, but there is a small chance that the appearance does not match the reality. As small as the chance is though, I expect you'll be single soon. I wish this had worked out the way you were hoping. The American dating scene is so brutally cynical, and people have such skewed perspectives on what is important. It's not fair to the good ones. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 The American dating scene is so brutally cynical, and people have such skewed perspectives on what is important. It's not fair to the good ones. Amen to that... I jumped into the dating world 6-months ago and am startled with the number of "hurt", "damaged" people out there. Every lady i've dated had more than small issues occur to them in their pasts and it certainly hurts those of us who are truly trying to find a stable, happy (as happy as can be), committed person. Shoot, i'm even becoming more and more cynical and ambivalent. SIGH. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 (edited) Amen to that... I jumped into the dating world 6-months ago and am startled with the number of "hurt", "damaged" people out there. Every lady i've dated had more than small issues occur to them in their pasts and it certainly hurts those of us who are truly trying to find a stable, happy (as happy as can be), committed person. Shoot, i'm even becoming more and more cynical and ambivalent. SIGH. It's tough. It has become all about porn-style sex in the first week, and being pretty and perfect like a celebrity. People think that's what relationships are all about. Or maybe people are forgetting that relationships even matter. "Dating around" perpetually seems like the new standard. You're expected to use each other. It's more about brinksmanship and seeing who is going to blink first. Feelings and caring are a curse to be avoided. I can't remember the last time I read a girl on here saying she met a great guy, but she wanted to wait for sex. Months even. Or a guy saying he would wait if the girl wanted him to. Or when someone posted about just having a real connection and lots of fun and laughs with someone who seemed right. I think the media and the internet are changing people's values and making them forget what is important. Edited August 21, 2012 by johan 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 ((my 9))) What a jerk!! I'm so sorry he's done to this you. You are right, how can he explain this or even deny it? He's been caught like bambi in headlights. He has to own this and admit that he has been doing things behind you back. I'm sure you'd like to know why though. Hugs again. whichwayisup!!!!!! Hi Lady!!!!! I haven't talk to you in a long time. I havent been here in a while cause I been doing well. Yeah, I think you have a point. I just want to know WHY. We was having a good relationship and we just talked about having more together so I would like to know WHY. You have a point. Thanks for the hugs. I said this morning, I need a hug Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 I am sorry you had to go through this, this guy is definitely a player. My ex of 4.5 years did the same to me, told people that she's single and she and I are just friends only. I dropped her right on the spot and never looked back. Was the one of the best decisions I ever made. WOW!! That is a long time. Wow! How did she react when you let her go? Im curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 At least give him a chance to tell his side. Not sure I can even imagine how, but there is a small chance that the appearance does not match the reality. As small as the chance is though, I expect you'll be single soon. I wish this had worked out the way you were hoping. The American dating scene is so brutally cynical, and people have such skewed perspectives on what is important. It's not fair to the good ones. Johan, well from listening to you all. Im going to ask him why he did it just to see what he says.. My feelings are that was a email but the phone probably has alot more going on. who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
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