Nikki82 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 It's been a while since I posted here, but past posts were many times about my Mom. She abuses prescription pills by buying them from online pharmacies. She lives alone, has pushed her one friend out of her life, no hobbies, nothing. I stopped talking to her last September because of well, her pill abuse and anger towards me for trying to help. The leasing office where she lives called today because I'm listed as a contact. She hit a parked car while trying to park at the leasing office so she could borrow their phone since her cell was apparently not working. Why she didn't WALK to this leasing office that is a 5 minute walk away is beyond me. So, she hits the car... she comes inside and according to the lady who called me, she is "wobbling, repeating herself, and has a blank stare". The police came to the scene, and she was then apparently very hysterical. The police thought she might be drunk, but no smell of alcohol. They checked her blood sugar level and it was normal. So the officer asked me over the phone if there is any other reason for this type of behavior. I told them she most likely has been taking muscle relaxers and/or pain killers because she has a propensity to abuse pills. She was taken to the ER. I'm not going down there to see her. It wouldn't do anything for her anyway. I'm just venting I guess. I feel all the stress attached to her flooding back in... and it's confirmation that she really will NEVER change. She might OD one day... it wouldn't surprise me... Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Hey, Nikki. I'm really sorry to hear about this. It's devastating to watch our parents, of all people, continue to ruin their lives - and by extension the lives of everyone around them. Being honest about her prescription pill abuse may, whether she sees it that way or not, be an act of love - and it may even be a jolt that starts pushing her in the right direction. Although I think you're more accurate to conclude that she will never change. It's very sad to see people throw their lives away, and to watch them do it year-after-year, decade-after-decade. Acknowledging that she won't change is the biggest part of the whole puzzle: it helps absolve you of any inappropriate guilt you may feel (I'm guilty of that one too...parents, pscht). I also think that not going to see her is a GOOD thing: it's likely she'd just be angry at you for some perceived wrong about this whole thing (which, you weren't wrong at all). Anything else we can do, Nikki? Link to post Share on other sites
wow04 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Nikki, I know it is hard, but you are doing the right thing. The best thing you could have done was the tell the police about her drug abuse. I wish you the best of luck!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nikki82 Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Thank you both so much for your replies. It means a lot to have a bit of confirmation that I am doing the right thing because it's a battle within yourself when you put your mother of all people out of your life. But, like I've learned, just because they're family doesn't mean they can't be too toxic to put out of your life... It's just hard because I wish I had a normal relationship with my mom where we could go shopping together....have her come over and give me tips on interior decorating....mother/daughter stuff... ah well. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
all_hail_me Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Hi Nikki, your story touches home with me. My mother is an alcoholic and I've watched her abuse herself since I was a young teenager. I too wish my mother would change, I wish she would respect herself and that I could have a close relationship. As it stands, my father is a homeless drug addict in South Africa. I don't know if you have family around to support you. I moved away from my mother when I finished university to escape her dismal behaviour, but I've left my family to deal with her. I don't regret escaping but I regret leaving them to have the cops call them all the time and on occasion show up with her in the back of the car drunk out of her mind and screaming. I wouldn't be surprised if my mother died, I sadly am waiting for this to happen. She's had known criminals in her house and been in hospital repeatedly, last time from one of her known junkie friends smashing a bottle over her head and almost beating her to death. She's had breast cancer and still won't quit drinking. All I've ever wanted is for a normal mother and father, but I eventually put those thoughts out of my mind when I realised it was making me depressed out of my mind. If my mother had raised me right, I might respect her now but she chose boyfriend after boyfriend over me and I can't feel sorry for her. You are doing the right thing keeping her away from you. We need to get on with our own lives, not be consumed by selfish parents who act like children. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I think i get your avatar now all hail me. Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 This forum seems to be place for heartbreak stories but at the other end Thank God its here to pour our loses heart aches and betrayals on it and to feel better about them. Am so sorry you are going trough this and I wanted to say you are also not alone in it and to offer you HUG to I can't imagine how I would feel in your place getting that call although am not in much better one myself either. Heck girl you are one strong individual all my respect goes to you ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nikki82 Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Thank you very much for your reply, BlueGreen. =) Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Hopefully they'll force her to rehab. But it's no longer your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Zolie Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I'm not going down there to see her. It wouldn't do anything for her anyway. I'm just venting I guess. I feel all the stress attached to her flooding back in... and it's confirmation that she really will NEVER change. I completely get that. I sometimes want disown my grown son because of his irresponsible and idiotic behavior, which has cost ME a lot of money in the past few years. One of these days I AM going to walk away from him. Although he is clean now, he is still doing some asinine things... Such as not EVER putting fresh oil in the new car I helped him buy 2 years ago, which destroyed the engine a couple of weeks ago, which insurance won't cover. And there is still a 3 year note to pay off. In my name. So, yeah, I get wanting to walk away from irresponsible and foolish relatives. It's harsh to say that about my own son, but we can only take so much. One thing that amazes me when I read stories like yours, is how adult kids often turn out opposite from their no-good parents. That's a good thing. Blessings to you, sweetheart. Link to post Share on other sites
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