cheeks Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 My x has been trying to convince me to give us another chance. He has said I am the one for him, he loves me , needs me, can't live w/o me. He said he doen't love her, and that he was just scared so he tried to keep the peace at home w/ her. It still baffles me, how did he do it? How could another human being hurt the one they love like this. I He also says he knows that if he has my support he can get the help he needs for himself and will be able to fight to see his kids. Ofcourse he is saying that he will NEVER hurt me again. I don't think I could ever trust him again. I would question every moment he wasn't with me. I had no idea he was still with her for our whole 2 year relationship, so I am pretty blind as it is. I don't know. If your not familiar with my story its under heartbroken. So let me have it guys. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 No -- move on. Oprah said something the other day that sums up my feeling about your situation: [color=blue] When someone shows you who they are -- and they will -- believe them, the first time.[/color] Much as you've suffered for this guy, given to him, loved him, he hasn't proven worthy of your sacrifice. He hasn't returned it either. He's given you words. Talk is cheap. The fact that he deceived you for so long reveals a certain mindset that is predisposed to gross selfishness. It also shows in what poor esteem he held you. I think you'd be foolish to trust him again with your heart. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
Author cheeks Posted July 16, 2004 Author Share Posted July 16, 2004 I agree. It kills me, but I agree. I think relationships that suffer from infidelity can sometimes work it out. It would be hard, but could be forgiven. But this has been more than that. He was lying to me about everything. He says everything he had with me was real. Sure it WAS real for me at the time too. But he was living 2 seperate lives! He was able to just flick a switch. Now, due to the fact that he lived w/me for the last 8 months I know things couldn't have been wonderful with his x ( see I keep calling her that and she wasn't). How could they b. He was with me every night when I fell asleep, when I woke up, we would spend afternoons together, everything. He did not possible have the time to keep both relationships going. But in the end he was scared. My big strong man that had control of everything in his life, had none. He let her use their kids against him. I don't know what is truth or lies at this point. I have just been reflecting on our relationship and I was genuinely happy. I felt lucky at the time. He was wonderful. I can't go back to that though. He scares me. His mind must be a real mess to be able to that to me for so long. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterfly_Queen Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Hi I agree, you should move on. I think you answered your own question about what you need to do, when you said you didn't think you could ever trust him again and would question every moment he wasn't with you. Thats no way to live. Yes I think trust can be rebuilt over time, but its all in what you think you want or do or not want. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
leilab Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Uriel - I love your quote. It is so true - I wish I would have kept that in my mind when my MM came around the 2nd time after 7 years. He just vanished out of my life - and he sure did that again the 2nd time around. My stupidity - he showed me who he was the first time - I just didn't believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
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