InAFog Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 After the breakup 3 months ago I was in such turmoil I started searching the web looking for help. That's when I first heard of NC. I thought "No, that can't apply to us. We were too close to just break all contact. We're different. We're special." Wrong. First of all, there wasn't much contact. He barely ever reached out. And that just plain hurts! So I am now hoping that it won't hurt as much that I don't hear from him now that I am deciding on going NC! Yeseterday I sent him a text, just to give him a nudge to remind him he owes me alot of money, was hoping to just leave it at that. But it turned into a little chat about his new job and my job search. Then his text ends with "how are you, are you doing ok?" so i say "Yeah." and he responds with "I hope you really are." Aagh! that irked me! Of course, I am NOT doing ok, but screw him! He thinks i can't possibly be alright without him?! It sounded so ****ing patronizing i wanted to tear his eyes out! So then my head starts turning. "Why is he always wondering if I'm ok? Maybe he's not as good as he says he is..." Or - myabe he's just hoping I'm doing ok. And that, THAT, pisses me off!! Where was his concern for me when we were together?! Where was this "concern" when my heart was breaking and I was pleading and begging with him to talk with me and help work things out!? Oh, he can have enough of his bull***t concern to press a few buttons on his phone, but nothing else eh? His concern is worthless now. I deleted his number immediately. Even went to bed last night without checking my phone! My heart is breaking to a billion pieces with the thought of never, ever speaking with him again. But there is something inside me that is getting up and feeling very proud. If he thinks I cant be alright without him, I will prove him wrong, if only for spite right now. Feels good to vent. I'm feeling pretty charged up right now, but realisticaly I know i'll be back on here later today feeling like a broken mess. Just a side note from a newbie - It sure is great and reassuring to see so many men on here who DO have feelings, and emotions and consciences. its sad that bad experiences can make us doubt an entire sex... thanks guys! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Regrets58 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Yes contact with an ex plays with your mind. Every text/phone call/meeting is analysed for meaning. It really is a bad place to be if you still have any feelings for them. With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight I would have gone NC from day one. Have now reached a stage where I can contemplate not hearing from her again.Makes me a little sad but it has to be done. 3 months ago I could barely go a day without texting. NC really does help you let go,believe it is the only way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author InAFog Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 i feel like just going to the mailbox where i know i'll have a check from him is breaking NC... just seeing my name in his writing i know is gonna hurt. Pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
Tallblueyed Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 i feel like just going to the mailbox where i know i'll have a check from him is breaking NC... just seeing my name in his writing i know is gonna hurt. Pathetic. Not pathetic, it's human. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author InAFog Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Well i went to the mailbox! ta da! lol there it was & yeah it hurt SOB couldn't even write out my name, just my initials Is that as rude and obnoxious as i'm thinking it is? Link to post Share on other sites
lovejoy41 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Hi Ina Fog, Sorry to hear what happened. It's so sad to see so many people(myself included) on here going through heartbreak. If you get an opportunity, go to my thread "No Contact" and the Narcissist" under the Breaks and Break Ups forum. I have quite a few links on there by Natalie Lue. I'm not implying that your bf is a narcissist, just want you to look at some of her links. They have really helped me through my BU & every time I read one I am encouraged. Matter of fact, I will post the No Contact rule link for her article on here for you. If you scroll towards the bottom of her article, you will see more related articles by her that you can choose to read. Also, watch the video within the article, it's excellent. No Contact is most definitely the way to go. You avoid all of the silly, insensitive crap that you have to deal with when you choose to break contact. Just stick with it & you'll get better. Here's the link, just click on it: The No Contact Rule | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue Link to post Share on other sites
Author InAFog Posted August 22, 2012 Author Share Posted August 22, 2012 Thanks for the link lovejoy. some really great stuff in there! Link to post Share on other sites
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