i keep trying and trying and trying and trying......................................................

[jennie]

i am starting to feel like the energizer bunny, i keep trying and trying and trying but it seems i keep trying in vain and am not able to accomplish anything.

 

i am talking about this problem i have with jealousy and control, yes, i've written here before under a different name which i've long since forgotten.

 

my problem is that it seems know matter how much progress i've made and am positive that i have made, when i slip up and say something about another woman or a phone call he made, etc. i kick myself so bad and get so mad at myself and i can't see my progress any more.

 

i feel like i take one step forward and two steps backwards. i know that i am too hard on myself and that i should keep in mind my accomplishments, but when i screw up, i punish myself unmercifully then i think to myself that i just can't do it and i may as well just leave him cause i cannot change!

 

i'm so frustrated with myself and being so hard on myself. it does motivate me to try harder but it seems know matter how hard i do try it is never good enough. that i slip up one lit'l time and then i havent tried hard enough or i would not be still slipping up.

 

what can i do? am i hopeless? can people really change habits? i know i quit smoking january 1st after years of smoking and that was a piece of cake to this. i just wish i could please myself. any advise?

[Tony T]

Yes, you can change. Jealousy can be very destructive. You need to do whatever is necessary to build your confidence and self esteem.

 

I think you should take several weeks vacation, go off alone, and spend the time thinking and meditating on what kind of pay off you get from this behavior. Think about why you do it.

 

You have obviously been this way all your life. You are insecure for some reason, I'm sure from childhood issues. Have patience with yourself, keeping working on yourself, and stop taking everything so seriously.

 

Chill out. Let me tell you, this think called life doesn't last forever. You have to have a blast while the ticker still pumps blood. Get your act together, babe, whatever you have to do.